Incomplete
- excerpted from Alanis Morisette’s new CD, Flavours of Entanglement

One day I’ll find relief
I’ll be arrived
And I’ll be a friend to my friends who know how to be friends

One day
My mind will retreat
And I’ll know God
And I’ll be constantly one with her night, dusk and day

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
I have been missing the rapture this whole time,
Of being forever incomplete

Ever unfolding
Ever expanding
Ever adventurous
And torturous
…but never complete

In one way or another every mystic says the same thing: you will never arrive. There is no “there” there. You will forever be reaching, striving, riding the creative cosmic edge. Or maybe Winston Churchill said it best: “Life is just one damn thing after another.” You can grope for the next thing, you can aim your arrow at it, magnetize it to you with sheer will, but once you nail it, they’ll be the next Next Thing.

For an over-achiever, this is a tough concept to wrap my ambitions around. I’m not going to ARRIVE?! I won’t reach the mountain top of enlightenment, or wealth, or totally evolved coolness and just be able to chill…grinning from ear to ear at how hard I worked to get there?

The answer, which I know is true on a cellular level, is no. The work is never done. My life will ALWAYS have a mess-factor and loose ends and things undone and unsaid. Things to tear down. Things that break, notions that fail miserably. Always uncomfortable relationships, stuff to file and take to the Goodwill. There will always be a new goal, a new idea, a repeating lesson, another mountain of desire to climb.

I will never be satisfied. Knowing this, or more accurately, accepting this, gives me deeply suh-weet satisfaction.

I’m finally feeling some…peace. It’s giddy, it’s kind, it has a lot of room to move around in. Maybe this is what the crest of 40 brings. Maybe this is what Ambitious People figure out when they examine their ambitions – compassionately.

Launching our Style Statement book was a whopper of a mountain to climb. It expanded our world into more divine to-do’s. And then we raised almost a half a million dollars for our digital goals. And those goals shift sometimes before they’re met. My man and I are more sincere and strong than ever after ten years, but it’s just the beginning of what we’re capable of.

There’s more more more. Mess mess mess. DESIRES TO FULFILL. The work is never done and thinking that I could check off “prosperity” and “satisfaction” on my Life To Do List was silly. I missed out on some moments that could have been eaten whole and fueled the fire in my belly. I missed the rapture I was working so hard to find beneath those gorgeous loose ends.

Never, ever, complete. Sweet.

…….

[BTW: ||!prliignore2||is her best ever. Conscious. Whole-hearted. Full of flavour.]