So here’s one of my early New Year Resolutions, along with eating chocolate and laughing more – I’m going to write more love letters to my partner.
The thing is that he was asked what it was like to be married to a writer the other day. “She’s very good at shopping lists,” he said. It made us laugh, but I got to thinking when was the last time I wrote something just for him. Although, hmmm, we’re both English, and everybody knows we don’t “do” emotion terribly well. This could all get a bit embarrassing. Better not to commit anything to paper, just in case.
If you’re hesitant to put your feelings to your partner down on paper, just watch this video of Lakshmi Pratury talking about how valuable her legacy of hand-written letters from her father is to her. Nothing means more than something written just for you. Remember how in the Sex And The City film, it wasn’t other people’s love letters Carrie wanted to read, it was the words Big managed to say, finally, from the heart.
Getting Started With Your Love Letter
In Billy Collins’s poem, Litany he uses humor to get across real intimacy, as this extract shows.
And a quick look in the mirror will show
that you are neither the boots in the corner
nor the boat asleep in its boathouse.
So write a poem, or a letter, that lists all the things your partner is – and isn’t. Make them things that have meaning just for the two of you, however silly or small that might seem. You can keep it funny if you want, because as Collins’s poem shows, humor doesn’t stop it packing a real punch.
What are the surprising things you love about your partner? Write these down and thank him or her for being so unique. It may be that this process actually helps you to remember and be thankful for these things, too!
Write With Passion
In the middle of work and family pressures, especially at this time of year, it can be too easy to forget just how important passion is. If you and your partner really haven’t communicated apart from via shopping lists for a while, then take some time to write down just how sexy you think he is. This poem, True Love by Sharon Olds, is one of the most beautiful I know for expressing love between people who could otherwise take each other for granted.
Write to your partner about a moment like this, an ordinary moment, when you felt glad to be with them, in every way.
Photo by: Peter Hellberg
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