Why You Should Stop Asking Why
“Why?” is the province of toddlers. They are learning at such a fast pace, their curiosity is off the charts. Do you think children need answers to their why questions? I wonder. Answers can often be full stops and the end of conversation. It’s more likely that children are in fact simply using “why” as a form of exploration rather than searching for a one-word answer.
And how about for us adults? Skim through Style Statement or peruse the panoply of Daily Q & A’s. You will be hard-pressed to find questions that begin with “Why?” Why is that you may ask? Ah, gotcha! If you really want to know, we can probably ask Carrie and Danielle. Here are some thoughts on the way of the ‘why’:
Why questions take you to your head. You immediately try to figure something out. Not a problem if the question is, “Why does red and blue make purple?” When we are trying to find meaning in our lives and make a difference in the world, I say, let’s go straight to our hearts!
Why questions deceive you into believing that there are simple explanations for complex questions. Like, “Why can‘t you settle down and make a commitment?”- There’s an easy one!
Why questions can sink you deeper into a problem rather than guide you toward meaningful action. Okay, so maybe you keep sabotaging your diets because your father told you how much he loved his plump baby. And maybe your father did this because you have a genetic predisposition towards eating disorders. Wow, that sucks. Better go eat some ice cream to cheer up!
The value of questions is their capacity to connect us to our truer, deeper selves. They let us linger in the questions, and explore. They awaken our curiosity about ourselves and our world. Abraham Joshua Heschel said it best on the first page of his book, God In Search of Man.
In the process of thinking, an answer without a question is devoid of life. It may enter the mind; it will not penetrate the soul. It may become part of one’s knowledge; it will not come forth as a creative force.
Recommended and Related
God in Search of Man: A Philosophy of Judaism, by Abraham Joshua Heschel
Photo by pulihora.
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