You’ve come a long way, baby.

We most certainly have. Powerful female role models, (relatively) equal pay, televised tampon commercials, and the freedom to wear pants. On top of it all, the ability to pursue a career — any career. We’re supposed to embrace that freedom and power, carve out own way in the world, make our own money. All by ourselves. Without help, and surely, without the help of a man.

I will leave the serious dissertations on modern feminism to others — the justification of the housewife, the resurgence of the stay at home mom, being valued for cherishing the role of mothers, placing family above career… That is an ideological debate on values, femininity, freedom of choice, and power.

This article is on money.

While I embrace my self-reliant, self-assured Alpha Woman ideal, allow me to fantasize about “the good life” and play devil’s advocate for a moment.

Marry For Money?

Go ahead, scoff at your Anna Nicole Smiths, your Heather Millses, your Kevin Federlines. But let’s have a look at the positive side. After all, marrying for money can’t be all bad, can it?

For starters, you can quit your day job. Come on, you know you want to. Unless you’re in some wildly fantastic position like Oprah or Jennifer Lopez or Hilary Clinton, you’re probably in a less-than-perfect professional scenario. Well, now that you’ve married Mr. Big, you can finally tell your boss what time it is. Besides, isn’t working overrated and unnatural? Imagine having the choice between lounging on the beach drinking Mai Tais, or sitting in your uncomfortable, non-ergonomic chair in a stuffy office with mediocre coffee and hospital lighting. Which would you prefer?

No Career Needed

Many of us want a career. Many of us also have our doubts about working. It’s exhausting. It often not something we heartily love doing. There are office politics to grapple with, dress codes to consider at six o’clock in the morning, ethical dilemmas to negotiate, unsavory commutes to endure. Many women around the world work. But they don’t have the luxury of envisioning the perfect career. They toil out of necessity. And here we are choosing it. Here’s a thought: if you have the option, let somebody else pay your bills while you sit back and watch The View.

Although I don’t want to sound like a fifties throwback—making sure you have hot dinners waiting for your man every night —I am a proponent of contributing to the world in bigger ways than punching the clock. I’m not authorizing soap operas and apathy, or condoning lazing ‘round the house and eating bon bons. Well…maybe the bon bons. They’re awfully tasty.

Free Stuff is Good

Next off on marrying rich, you get free stuff. What would normally take you five weeks of eight-hour days is now yours in an instant. Presto. Want those new red-soled Christian Louboutins? They’re yours. Always fantasize about a trip to Tahiti? Take it. That dream house in Aspen? When can you move in? No more schlepping required. (Sure, you might have to pay for it with a few positive reaffirmations in the boudoir, but isn’t that so much easier than dealing with the unwashed masses during your morning commute?)

Just follow the trajectory. First, maybe you’re in it for the free food. Who doesn’t like to get taken out to fancy restaurants for gourmet dinners and expensive wine? After a while, maybe you get used to not doing anything, which is pretty boring. But on the flip side, he pays for everything. Suddenly, you find yourself married. But not to worry. He paid for that too.

And last but not least, we have what I feel is the ultimate benefit of and rationale for marrying a fiscally well-endowed man. We all know that women tend to generally live longer than men. With plenty of money in the bank, you can put him in a home when he becomes incontinent, instead of changing his diapers yourself. Heck, that’s reason enough.

Caviar, anyone?

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