Your mom always told you not to talk to strangers. She had a good point, but now that you’re older, there’s always a chance that you could benefit from a little networking for business or personal reasons. Giving a stranger a friendly “hello” and a smile often gets you a smile and a greeting back. But walking up to someone and starting a conversation can be as scary as speaking in public, so here are a few simple steps to help you approach and get to know new people.

Be Ready for Surprises

Start with a “hello” and a smile. One of my own chance encounters started with a smile to a man as I went into the library. I said hello and didn’t find out until later that the man hadn’t heard the words because he was deaf, but he read my lips. I was working on research when he approached my table and handed me a note. The note said “Hello,” gave his name, and explained that he was deaf. He tried to hand me a pen to write back to him.

I used my own pen, and we passed paper back and forth for at least 15 minutes. I even tried some of the sign language I’d learned. He told me few people took time to speak with him and wanted to know if he could meet me at the library again just to talk.

Stay Safe

Keep chance meetings in safe and public locations. The library works well for me, but a coffee shop, bookstore, shopping mall or outdoor venue might be ideal for others. These meeting places can also help to deliver the unspoken message that the meeting isn’t for progressing to further activities. Remember personal safety. If you feel uncomfortable, listen to that instinct and escape.

Don’t Overshare

Stay on a first-name basis only. My experiences this past summer with meeting new people lasted from two minutes up to six hours with no sharing of any personal information beyond first names. There’s always a chance that your one-time meeting will progress further. Either of you can suggest follow-up, but be ready to accept that sometimes a one-time meeting is all that’s meant to be.

Goals and Flexibility

Start your meeting with a goal in mind. You may want to share information about an activity you’re involved in, find out more about something, get the new person to talk about themselves and their goals, or find common connections. Think about what you can offer and what you’d like to receive.

At the same time, be flexible. Being pressed for time is not ideal because you’ll never know how long the interaction would last naturally. Give yourself time to get to know the new person. You’ll learn things you didn’t know about another human and be exposed to a different perspective. I met someone who was visiting from another country and experiencing difficulty with the culture and communication. We ended up spending the whole day together visiting local sights and going out for lunch at one of my favorite cafés.

One Last Tip–Be Positive!

Go out and meet people when you’re feeling at your best–upbeat, or at least open to being in a good mood. Getting to know new people can give a personal boost to both parties, but you need to be open to the new experience, comfortable with the idea, and able to put a positive spin on it.

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