Carrie says: My Buddhist therapist told me: “Figure out your domains.” This works in every kind of partnership. Who runs the kitchen? Who looks after the finances? Agreeing on responsibilities creates a lot of respect and ease.

Danielle says: I met Ken Kesey, author of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest at a party in San Francisco. I was newly engaged (to someone other than my one and only husband.) Ken, who had been married for, like thirty years belts out, “Just engaged, eh?! Want to know the secret of a good marriage?”
“Uh, of course. Yeah. Tell me, man.” I leaned forward, nodding.
“Don’t say it,” he said.
“Don’t say it?” I said.
“Yeah, just don’t say it. Whatever it is that you think you shouldn’t say, just don’t say it. Ever.”
I think Ken was pretty baked that night. But he was right.