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What’s In A Friend?

I have learned through much trial and error, what the meaning of true friendship is, and what it isn’t. I will start by telling you what it isn’t. True friendship isn’t evidenced by jealousy or attempts to sabotage your friends life. It isn’t trying to take what is theirs because you want it for yourself. It isn’t calling them up and talking 90 miles a minute all about YOU, while your friend simply listens and despairs of ever fitting in a word edge wise about THEIR life.

True friendship is many things, but it isn’t being selfish, and never putting your friends needs above your own. In case you were wondering, I know all of this because I have had true friends, and I have also had what I THOUGHT were true friends. My best friend of 6 long years, whom I thought I would grow old with, is finally out of my life for good, after doing the unforgivable, not just once, but twice. No point in rehashing the details, but suffice it to say, that I realized I was blind with this friend, and that I don’t think she ever had my best interests at heart.

I think deep down she was jealous and unhappy, and didn’t like the fact that I was getting on with life and kids and a relationship with out her, and she set out to do what she could to plant seeds of self doubt, in soil already ripe for sowing. Looking back I realized that she had always been this way, which is why I can’t ever be her friend again. Not to say I don’t forgive her, because I do, otherwise what kind of person would I be? But I could never forget, nor could I ever trust her again, which makes friendship effectively non existent.

But I appreciate that relationship, because it taught me what true friendship REALLY is. True friendship is the girlfriend that will go out with you, let you get sloppy drunk and cry on her shoulder, and then hold your hair while you puke it all back up. She will be right along with you through the toughest of times, whether that is relationship trouble, kid trouble, or the death of a loved one.

A true friend will tell you or show you often how much they care about you, and what you mean to them, and likewise you will do the same. True friends are the ones that call you after a week of silence, just to make sure all is right in your world. They are also the ones that remember your birthday and the birthdays of your children, and also just about every other important date you tell them!

They LISTEN to you, and also look to you for advice within their own lives. They are your support and likewise you are theirs. Life isn’t always easy, and it tends to get in the way of even the best efforts at finding happiness. But a true friend makes that journey much smoother and more fun. They are there to laugh with you over the ironies and to get mad with you over the injustices. They are there to pick you up when you’ve been knocked down, and just don’t think you can make it back up again. They are also the ones that teach you about being a better person, by showing you a perfect example.

True friends are a large component of what makes life worthwhile, outside of your family. At least in my book! I know with out my current true friends, I would not be the person I am today, and my life would be empty. But true friends like this can be hard to come by, so if you have one or two of them, hang on tight! Put forth equal effort in your relationship to make the friendship last, and maybe you WILL end up growing old together. I picture me and my best friend someday when we are old and gray, rocking on a porch somewhere together while we watch our grandkids play outside, and carry on our traditions. That’s a pretty sweet thought isn’t it?

Cori Padgett
www.writesyntax.com

Word count- 703

Relevant links- http://www.allaboutgod.com/true-friendship.htm

http://www.christianresearchservice.com/True_Friendship.htm