What’s a Jewel of Wisdom You’ve Received From a Child?
Daily | November 6th, 2008
“Children are our most valuable natural resource.” Herbert Hoover. Today’s Q&A includes an answer from one of our newest writers, Sarah Salway. Be sure to check out Sarah’s wonderful article published on our site today, An Ode in Celebration of Ironing. Yes, it’s as good as the title would lead you to believe…
Carrie says: Last year my 12-year-old niece competed in a cross country ski race and won. I asked ” How was your race, how did you feel?”. Sadie replied “I am so proud of me”. The power of her words moved me completely, and spoke volumes about her self acknowledgment and her parents loving guidance.
Danielle says: I was trying to convince my four-year-old son to “have fun” at an amusement park. He wasn’t into the rides, he was a bit cranky. I took him aside and explained that his grandparents were really hoping he’d have a good time on this special occasion. I was really giving him the get-happy-dammit pressure. He got really frustrated and started to cry and he shouted at me, “Mama! My feelings are my choice!” What could I do but hug him and be incredibly humbled?
Sarah says: When my daughter was about seven, she started talking about the popular girls in her class. “Are you one?” I asked. “No,” she said. So after a while I told her – as gently as I could – that it didn’t really matter. “I know,” she replied. “Because they’re boring. All they want to do is be popular.” I loved how she seemed so much wiser than me at that moment because I had secretly been hoping she’d be popular, whereas she knew it was much more important to follow her own dreams.
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November 6th, 2008 at 3:50 am
I got divorced a year ago. My biggest fear was that my children would suffer. A few months ago, while sitting with my 17 year old son at bedtime, he said, “Mom, thanks for creating a safe environment for me where I am thriving.” I almost fell off the bed. What a fabulous acknowledgment of what I have created and how he is doing in spite of my greatest fears.
November 6th, 2008 at 4:09 am
I came home from playing racquetball the other night and had lost all 3 matches and was feeling like “i suck” so I told my 15 year old son that I'm a horrible racquetball player and I should just quit playing.
Well, he told me “Mom, if that's the way you think then that's how you'll be….You've got to think positive and keep on trying.”
I was so PROUD of him telling me that because that's exactly what I've always tried to teach him and for him to say that just thrilled me to no end. The way he said it wasn't just mocking what I've always tried to teach him too. I could tell he believed what he was saying. Bless his little heart.
Dear God, I love that kid so much. He's my kid who's been through hell. He's experienced more hurt in his short life than any child should (the worst thing was he was with his Dad when he died in a tragic accident) and I just want the best for him. If anyone is so inclined, please say a prayer for him.
November 6th, 2008 at 4:37 am
I enjoyed dancing lessons when I was a child and I encouraged my daughter to have that experience. When she was about 8 she turned to me one day and said, “Mom, just face it. I'm not the ballet type”. Dancing was not her style and she knew it. She was able to express that to me with such clarity, and a little humor, too.
November 6th, 2008 at 4:42 am
Wow. This is just what we want as moms, isn't it? For our kids to thrive.
November 6th, 2008 at 7:54 am
While visiting family, my step-cousin, age nine, came into our bedroom while we were sleeping, picked up the box of Glosetts beside our bed, and waited for us to wake up. When we finally did, he was looking down at us and said, “you shouldn't eat this before bed, it's like having a popsicle when you're sick.”
November 6th, 2008 at 7:58 am
my almost 6 year old son and i do these monthly kid-centered projects at our hardware store. 2 moths ago i was not being “fun laid-back mom”, but (boo, hiss!) “efficient, capable mom”. i found myself telling him “no, you can't do it that way”. he very calmly said “yes, i can.” and proceed to hammer the nail perfectly into the wood. we have done these workshops for years, so its not a HUGE surprise that i tend to want to help him more than he may need. sometimes i forget he's less and less a little guy. and i appreciate being “corrected” to meeting him where he is right then, rather than he was last month, last week, even yesterday! what a jewel of wisdom to be reminded to meet each other with fresh eyes, mind and heart.
November 6th, 2008 at 8:19 am
My husband died suddenly when he was 44. I was 38, our son was 10. The jewel is this: I received a handmade sympathy booklet from a little girl, on bright yellow paper, full of color and staples. It read: “HI. In the path of life, sometimes things don't go right. But your path can't come to an end yet.” That was 12 years ago. It's still a jewel.
November 6th, 2008 at 8:22 am
Well done, good and faithful mama.
November 6th, 2008 at 8:35 am
When my son was about 4, I was getting ready to go on a trip and leave him behind with Grandma. “I'm going to miss you! Are you going to miss me?” I said. ” No” he said.” Why not? “I asked! With a tone in his voice that said how stupid can you be………he said “Because you're always in my heart!”
November 6th, 2008 at 9:10 am
My daughter once said to me, “It seems to me that as people grow older they learn how to quit”. It knocked the wind out of me, as I realized in many ways she was right. Thank goodness she didn't think I fit in that category but it made me very aware of my choices and the importance of role models and teaching our children/friends/selves to not give up.
November 6th, 2008 at 9:36 am
“Do unto others as you would like them to have done unto you” ~ said by my Dad when I treated my cousin poorly when she was over at my house to play. I learned that lesson when I was 4 and I remember it as THE MOST impactful statement of my life. Before I react to something someone has done, I try to stop and remember that moment in life and look at the situation for what it really is.
Doneen
November 6th, 2008 at 10:30 am
I keep a book of little things my son says day to day. Sometimes it's the funniest thing I've ever heard like 'we celebrate Halloween because we're Jewish”…sometimes it profound like, “I heard a piano song playing when Jack (our elderly neighbor) died.” Either way, I am reminded to listen, always.
November 6th, 2008 at 10:35 am
I was moving overseas and went to say goodbye to a little boy I'd known and loved since birth. he was only 5 so I didn't think he would quite understand my leaving but we got out an atlas and I showed him where we were and where I was going to be. I did my best to explain why I woudn't be around as much by showing him what a long way it was from my new home to his. He was very thoughful for a moment and then suddenly gave me a hug and said “it's ok. that is far away but i'm sure love is still bigger than that.” Here I was trying to explain my relocation to him in a way he would understand when he already got it more than I ever could!
November 6th, 2008 at 11:10 am
Oh….thank you for sharing that. I moved away from my niece and nephew when they were barely 6 and 8. I was there at their birth and was so so close with both of them. During our last visit he took my son's head in his hands (who was then 4 months old), kissed his forehead and said…”I hope you have a wonderful life…” Oh my GOD!!! I could have melted right there. I'm crying now just thinking about it. Beautiful boy.
November 6th, 2008 at 11:18 am
My boyfriend's neice always says “because I want to.”
When we ask her why she's doing something slightly unconventional, she just replies with that. And it reminds me that I don't need to justify myself to others all the time, and it's also a great reminder to do what I makes ME happy, even if others think it's weird!
November 6th, 2008 at 11:27 am
My daughter always stops what she is doing, looks around and makes comments like….”I love trees, they make my heart happy” It reminds me to follow her and stop what I am doing, breathe and enjoy the beautiful things around me.
November 6th, 2008 at 11:51 am
My four year old son will sometimes just spur-of-the-moment tell me “I like you Mama”. Not when he's trying to “get” something but just because the thought occurred to him in that moment.
It reminds me to appreciate the people in my life just through simple words of gratitude and love, spontaneously and not just in the big or “right” moments.
November 6th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
My daughter looks at me and says “Shhhhhh”. Nuff said…
November 6th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
That reminds me of a quote,
“I want to do it because I want to do it” Amelia Earhart.
November 6th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
In my case the jewels of wisdom are unspoken, since my daughter is only 15 months old and limited to variations of “dada” and “aye” (for yes) and “uh-uh” (for no). But nevertheless they come from the benefits of giving her our full attention rather than being distracted by cellphones, computers, etc.
November 6th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
My niece and I have some interesting conversations. She has great insight for a six year old. Recently she told me her theory of what happens when you die. It was beautiful and I can only hope she is right.
November 6th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
My son had to go away to boarding school a few months after his father died and it was quite a traumatic time for both of us, however on one of the car journeys to take him to catch the bus after spending some time at home he said that I hold him in the cup of my hand like a bird, firm enough so that he knows he is safe but light enough that he can fly when he wants to and knows he can come back again.
November 6th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
My seven-year old nephew asks the best questions, which always make me look at life with fresh eyes — or at least make me laugh. Some recent favorites: “Why do we have so many stars?”, “Does God have an assistant?”, and “Why do I see corn in my poop?”
November 6th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
wowowowwow. Way to go for both of you. That's what happens when you follow your heart.
November 6th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
There was a gorgeous little boy visiting a house that I was staying at. He was just adorable! I wanted to make a good impression, so I went up to say hello. “Hi!” he said, and scampered off. It wasn't the most cheerful moment, but the way he did it made me jump and realize just how much he didn't need my approval, or feel obligated to have a conversation. How inspired.
November 6th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
I've been staying with a friend recently and her two beautiful children…. her daughter is 8 and has been blessed with incredible insight. She is constantly reminding us to breath, reminding us to slow down and take time outs, she seems to be the glue that is holding her family together, always calm and patient… she says these things that totally blow me away and i'm constantly wishing i'd written them down. She's always an inspiration and i find myself wondering where her strength comes from…. i'm hugely humbled by her thoughts and expressions.
November 6th, 2008 at 10:57 pm
My daughter Molly explained one day when I was frustrated by her and her siblings behavior “we're not bad children, we're just not good adults”.
November 7th, 2008 at 6:56 am
THAT'S BRILLIANT. I'm going to take that back into a few situations and see them differently. Thank you.
November 7th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
” U PRETTY” and touching my face…..LOL Kids are so cute!
November 9th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Absolutely the essence of child-rearing. And for us to thrive is essential as well. Thanks for the comment!
November 9th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
As a life coach, I work hard at keeping in alignment with my values and following my heart as often as I can. It is in walking the talk that I can be over “there” with my clients to support them in the same pursuit. It is from this place of alignment that the magic of our lives takes place.
November 9th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
What an aware little girl! You are doing a great job of raising a child to speak her truth. It brings to mind a story my friend told me about her high school senior. It was the mom's desire that her daughter go to Israel for a gap year before college. Right before the final application was to be sent, the daughter came crying to her mom. “This is your dream, mom. Not mine! I am not going.” That was the wake-up call for the mom. How lucky for you that your 8 year old gets it and that you are listening!
November 14th, 2008 at 10:50 am
My 3-yo son asked, “Mom, isn't it a beautiful day?” I did a double-take because it was pouring down raining. Rainy days have never been my idea of beautiful. But he saw beauty in the rain, through the rain, and in spite of the rain. Now, I look at every day as beautiful.