If, by some form of magic, you could visit yourself at 10 years old, what would you say?

If I was faced with my 10 year old self, I would say to her, listen, I have five regrets, but you have the power to change who I am. Eagerly, but tenderly, I would impress upon her the five things about myself I would change. This is what I’d say:

1: Study Harder

Throughout school, I was too cool to study. I coasted through without much effort. As soon as I turned 18, I realized that life is only the sum of what you add in. Life doesn’t work for you, you work for it. I realized I wasted many years affected by a misguided sense of entitlement. I thought that life was supposed to show me something. However, I realized that life is more about the questions than the answers, more about the pursuit than the destination. Instead of wasting time waiting for a life that never seemed to show up, I should have spent time in pursuit of the answers. Meaning, in school I shouldn’t have simply settled for coasting though. I should have voraciously consumed every lesson that was handed to me, including Algebra, because everything we learn is important and learning is a privilege.

2: Exercise More

All my life, I’ve been slightly overweight. Not exactly fat, but certainly not thin. I wish I had the mental discipline to exercise regularly. At 10 years old, I didn’t need to lose weight, but I did need to get off the sofa every now and then. If at 10 years old, I had a reverence for calisthenics, I would not be “slightly” overweight still.

3: Find the Beauty in This Very Moment

It is in the nature of childhood to want to be older, and I certainly spent my entire youth obsessed with age. I remember turning 10, and proudly telling my mother, “I’ve lived an entire decade now!” I was happy with each passing year, because it meant I was one step closer to independence and solvency. Often, I struggle with finding beauty in ordinary living. Life is made up of many uneventful moments, and only a few catalysts that change us for good. I give too much of my attention to catalysts, and seemingly too little to the soft, still moments in between. These are the moments where we find everyday happiness. To myself at 10 years old I say, honor each moment. Don’t think about the future, because it will take care of itself. Don’t think about the past, because it’s already done. Life is not about the future or past, but it’s about the moment you find yourself in.

4: Write Daily

My 10 year self didn’t know it yet, but I have always been a writer. Learning to write was painful, but the reward was a freedom that I had never known. I recall the very moment my ideas of words changed. Before learning to write, the written word looked like a cave drawing to me. I couldn’t imagine actually doing it myself and deciphering the meaning. When my teacher taught me how to read and write, my soul opened up, and life was much less constraining. I had the freedom of the pen! I wish I used my freedom to liberate all the ideas that lay dormant inside of me. Although I would probably cringe if I read what I had written then, I’d inevitably be a more courageous writer now.

5: Don’t Waste Energy Being Nervous

I spent a lot of my youth worrying about what people would think of me. Now I know that people don’t think about me as much as I think they do. Most people are caught up in the dramatic story of their own lives, and don’t have the time to waste worrying about me. Nervousness only comes when you focus on the wrong thing. Instead of focusing on how you feel, focus on what you give.

I realized, in the process of this excavation, that I have the power to change who I am. I don’t need to linger in regret for not having done these things when I was 10. My make believe conversation with the past affected me more than I did it. It said to me that the possibility to change is always right now.

So, what would you tell your 10-year-old self?

Photo by The Shane H.