I’ve always wanted to write the kind of heartfelt and humorous essays that get people book deals–or at least a slot in O Magazine or The New York Times (I aim high!), but I knew I needed a little guidance, so I signed up for an online personal essay-writing course which wraps up later this week.

Only time will tell if my essays will ever hit the big time, but I have absolutely loved my class and learned a heck of a lot over the last eight weeks–and many of the tips I picked up about writing can be applied to life in general, too. Here are a few of my most important revelations:

You Have To Be Yourself.

This was the first and most boring thing I learned. There’s no point in trying to be the next David Sedaris, Nora Ephron, or Amy Krause Rosenthal. You can learn from the way they write, but you’ll only have true success with the authentic version of YOU, both in real life and on the page.

At the same time . . .

Treat “Me” As A Character.

You can’t write well about yourself unless you’re willing to take a step back and acknowledge that the “me” on the page is a persona, a reflection of who you are at a particular time. This is a great tool to use in meditation, too–getting out of your own head and understanding that the way you see yourself might not be the only truth.

Focus On One Moment At A Time.

The key to a great personal essay is to pick one pivotal moment (a key realization, an important occurrence, etc.) and focus on it in detail. Recall the sounds and smells of the moment, what people said, and how you felt. This process helps writers to “show, not tell,” which is just as important in memoir as it is in fiction. Focusing on the moment is also something Buddhists swear by, and it can help you slow down and take life as it comes.

Get Stuck In The Painful Stuff.

I know–this doesn’t sound like fun. It isn’t. But if you’re not willing to feel bad when you write about a traumatic time, you’re probably not digging deep enough–and other people won’t relate to your words. Delve into the darkness, and you’ll be rewarded with some meaningful prose (and you’ll feel better afterwards, I promise). The same is true of therapy and coping with any difficult event in life.

Follow Your Instincts.

This has to be the most crucial aspect of any creative endeavor. It’s good to be humble and listen to the advice of others, but it’s important to trust your own instincts above all else. Only you know what really works or doesn’t work, in life and on paper.

I hope some of my advice may be useful, but on the note of the final point, go and find your own truths–about writing, life, and anything else you feel passionately about!

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