What is the best relationship book you’ve read?

Daily | September 21st, 2008 by Danielle LaPorte

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. “Pooh!” he whispered. “Yes, Piglet?” “Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw. “I just wanted to be sure of you.” – A.A. Milne

Carrie says: The Passionate Marriage, by David Schnarch. Both my husband and my favorite relationship book, (yes! he actually read it!) Whether you have a concern in your marriage or just want a tweak, read this book. The message is, instead of trying to get someone to love you, become someone capable of loving. Bottom line is: be yourself, trust yourself and then connect to someone. A process called Differentiation; learning to balance your individuality, authentic self with being a couple truly resonated.

Danielle says: The Missing Piece Meets The Big O, by children’s writer, Shel Silverstein. With a simple story and a few line drawings, Silverstein teaches that being complete unto yourself is the best way to find lasting love. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by John Gottman and Nan Silver is truly excellent. It doesn’t matter if you’re married - it’s a primer for healthy relating (it really deserves a better title.) I never thought I’d say this about a relationship book, but it’s so good because it’s based on data - thousands of hours in Gottman’s “love lab” analysing couples. “The Four Horseman of the Apolcalypse in Relationships” is a big eye opener. And guess what? Great relationships have very little to do with communication techniques - and everything to do with building a friendship.

Find out what Danielle has in common with June Cleaver

Viewing 74 Comments

Connie 09/22/2008 12:36 AM 1 point
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Because I'm an astrologer: started with Linda Goodman's Sun Signs and then her Love Signs much later and every fine astrology book in between. Also more recently, IF THE BUDDHA DATED and ZEN AND THE ART OF FALLING IN LOVE by Brenda Shoshanna.

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Penny 09/22/2008 12:53 AM 1 point
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The title sounds as though the book is silly or mean-spirited, but "Why Men Love Bitches" is actually full of solid advice. Of course, what will be the "best relationship book" for you depends on who you are and the particular issues you have. That said, when I found this book I had just come out of a horrible relationship in which the guy expected me to run around after him, neglecting my own life to look after him. I think that's a pretty common problem. "Why Men Love Bitches" shows how NOT to do that and also shows (with humor, yet!) that if any man expects you to, he's the wrong guy and it's the wrong relationship. It definitely snapped me out of being a doormat-slash-"nice girl." Now I have a wonderful relationship with a healthy balance of give and take.

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Vanessa Rae 10/01/2008 10:40 AM 1 point
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I have to agree. I've been spreading the word on this book for years now and although I hate the title because it throws people off way too soon, I believe it helped me reclaim my independence, my self-confidence and helped me to honor and respect myself. It helped me have the confidence to leave an unhealthy relationship of six years and take the time to discover what is is that I actually value in a person as well as in a relationship. Years after reading (and re-reading, and underlining, and highlighting) I married a wonderful man who loves me as I am.

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L'Mae 09/22/2008 01:00 AM 1 point
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I grew up in a house full of self-help, philosophy, etc. books. The one that I find myself recommending most is A Fine Romance by Judith Sills. Practical, insightful and straight forward. No games, no rules, just "this is the message you are giving/receiving, what do you want to do with it?". I'm also a big fan of Linda Goodman and am amazed that the only man I've ever been with whose chart I haven't looked up is...my husband!

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corinna 09/22/2008 03:31 AM 1 point
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Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. It has taught me to take responsibility for my own feelings, listen empathically to others, get clear about what I'm needing, and communicate my needs in a way that doesn't coax or manipulate. The testimonials or real life examples in the book are really inspiring, moving, and easy to connect to.

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Ella 09/22/2008 04:13 AM 1 point
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Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Committment, by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks.

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licarrit 09/22/2008 04:53 AM 1 point
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Truth be told, I've never read a relationship book -though I did love the "missing piece" as a kid. I was in a bunch of bad relationships and realized at some point that it was me and not "them." I worked on being who I wanted to be, and then met and married my best friend. We still have fights like other couples but they aren't the bloodbaths (metaphorically) that my parents had.

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Julia 09/22/2008 04:59 AM 1 point
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Well, here is a nod to popular culture: "He's Just Not That Into You"

It gives you permission to move on and not try to make something out of nothing. If a mate loves/likes you, he calls. He makes plans. And, it's okay if someone's not that into you. So what? Stop wasting time thinking about it and let go. Make room for someone else who is deserving of you!

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Chantal 09/22/2008 05:10 AM 1 point
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The Passion of Isis and Osiris, A Gateway to Transcendent Love by Jean Houston...a book about relationship with yourself, discovering the many layers and complexities of you. And then taking them out into the world to share. This book guides you to look at things from a deep and different perspective.

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http://www.chantalmonte.com

Colette 09/22/2008 05:18 AM 1 point
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Since learning that the best relationship is the one with yourself, each book teaching the perfectness and wholeness and divinity of oneself and the fundamentals of love and forgiveness has, in turn, been my new favorite relationship book. One can only love others to the degree one loves the self.

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http://www.mysecretforyouth.com

Janet LSH 09/22/2008 05:20 AM 1 point
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Two that taught me much about love: How to Survive the Loss of of a Love by Melba Colgrove, Harold Bloomfield, and Peter McWilliams and The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. There are others too, all the best of which, as has been said, help one learn to walk in life with integrity, passion, and compassion, and to keep one's eyes and ears open to those who walk in the same times. Another book I would recommend taking time to read is Take Time for Your Life by Cheryl Richardson; she offers a technique for dealing with difficult conversation or presenting information that may be difficult to the receiver that is very effective in work or private relationship, and she also gets one to think about who drains you and who fuels you... good to know when choosing with whom to spend your time.
On a personal note, I was one to poo-poo or roll my eyes over self-help books, having matured in a time when they were expanding the shelves of bookstores and very "in your face" about everything; I guess I didn't feel the need for anyone to sayu "I'm o.k.; You're o.k."! The "How to Survive..." book grabbed me in a time when I was only learning about having need of any kind, and it didn't leave my side/briefcase/handbag for about 18 months. It brought me laughter and comfort with it's irony and honesty, and taught me the stages of grief, and that grief comes with losses other than death.

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MoJo 09/22/2008 05:22 AM 1 point
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Intimacy by Osho. He always makes it easier to learn by his simple words and by making me laugh at myself. Beautiful book...

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Joslyn 09/22/2008 05:43 AM 1 point
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"In the Meantime" by Iyanla Vanzant carried me through a my twenties when I really wanted to examine why my relationships weren't working. Also helpful during this time was a book called "Don't Call That Man!" (if the title appeals to you in any way, you should read it.)

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Lori_from_Texas 09/22/2008 05:54 AM 1 point
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The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. The idea is that we have a primary way to receive love: physical touch, words of affirmation, gifts, quality time or acts of service. The book helped me figure out how to express love for someone based on the way they personally receive love. It also helped me ask for and seek out what makes me feel loved.

Example: my honey's language is words of affirmation, so I make him a thoughtful card to tell him what makes him loveable. My mom's language is gifts, so I take lots of care in selecting something meaningful and wrapping it well. My daughters language is quality time, so I stay up late and tell her fairy stories. I am acts of service, so if my honey wants "a sure thing" he loads the dishwasher & runs the vacuum in the living room.

Not that we don't need all 5 things, but one usually says LOVE more than the others.

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Joannie 09/22/2008 06:04 AM 1 point
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Women, Sex and Addiction by Charlotte Kasl
Don't Call it Love by Patrick Carnes
The Enneagram: From a Christian Perspective by Richard Rohr

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Pearl Mattenson 09/22/2008 06:05 AM 1 point
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Danielle-thank you for reminding us of a A Tale of O. I LOVED that book. I first came across it when doing diversity training for teachers back in the 80's. Shel Silverstein has actually become my son's favorite poet and I just realized he doesn't have this book yet!

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Jess 09/22/2008 06:07 AM 1 point
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I've never read a relationship book. So I'm kind of just reading this post for suggestions - but something makes me nervous about picking one up...

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Donna 09/22/2008 06:26 AM 1 point
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Romancing The Home by Ed Young......How to have a marriage that sizzles. Simple principles that can infuse your marriage with warmth and richness.

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Traci 09/22/2008 06:33 AM 1 point
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The Conscious Bride wins by default. It's the only one I've read so far. (Which is not to say it was bad. I learned quite a bit, really.) I'm so excited about all the great recommendations!

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Lisa 09/22/2008 06:51 AM 1 point
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Maggie Scarf's Intimate Partnerships -- it's like a whole marriage therapy weekend of insights in a book. Brilliant and reassuring and inspiring.

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http://www.smartworkco.com

Suzyn 09/22/2008 07:02 AM 1 point
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Soul Mates
Honoring the Mysteries of Love and Relationship
by Thomas Moore
© 1994, HarperCollins Publishers, New York, NY

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Polly 09/22/2008 07:14 AM 1 point
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"The Five Love Languages."

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Krystl 09/22/2008 07:32 AM 1 point
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I don't really read self-help relationship books. I was lucky to fall in love with the boy who lived across the hall from me in my freshman dorm, and never really had those issues. But I loved and was inspired by the description of the relationship in "The Time Traveler's Wife."

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Ellen 09/22/2008 07:37 AM 1 point
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C and D!
I have attended several workshops hostbe by David Schnarch (not nearly enough) - a wonderfully sexy man, himself!
Also, John Gottman is one of my favorites. What better than to find out what couples actually DO!

The other books that have impacted my relationships are the Emmanuel Series and the Bartholomew Series - all channelled books that help me stay authentic and genuine - what I need to remember in relationships.

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http://didtherapy.vpweb.com

lisaohhh 09/22/2008 07:40 AM 1 point
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"Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships: Healing the Wound of the Heart" by John Welwood... describes beautifully how our deepest longing for love is in fact the key to healing our own wounds. when we realize we have direct access to the love and happiness we most long for, our relationships are transformed.

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lisaohhh 09/22/2008 07:42 AM 1 point
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i just started a book by maggie scarf last night: "Secrets, lies, betrayals: how the body holds the secrets of a life, and how to unlock them" so far i am loving it though it is striking all too familiar nerves that are a bit uncomfortable to read.

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lezin bogan 09/22/2008 07:44 AM 1 point
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the best book for relationships that i'e read is "light his fire" by ellen kreidman. i cannot say enough about ellen or her series of books.

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Jamie Lees D'Angelo 09/22/2008 08:14 AM 1 point
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The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World by Marti Olsen Lane. Helped with many of my relationships in the crazy marketing and advertising industry.

Read it if you are an introvert or an extrovert. It will assist you in understanding how the brain processes info for these 2 types.

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http://www.marketown.ca

nycchic 09/22/2008 08:29 AM 1 point
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The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman: Quality Time, Acts of Service, Words of Encouragement, Physical Touch and Gifts. Learn your language, learn others. It's life changing and marriage saving.

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Danielle LaPorte 09/22/2008 08:42 AM 1 point
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yes, this is a beautiful book, I have a well-worn copy.

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http://carrieanddanielle.com

Ngonzi Truth Crushshon 09/22/2008 09:15 AM 1 point
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Friends, Lovers and Soulmates by Derek S. Hopson and Darlene Powell Hobson

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Danette 09/22/2008 09:22 AM 1 point
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Yes! Non-Violent Communication was the first book to really hit home what it means to take responsibility for my own feelings. That had a huge impact on my relationships with others. Great book.

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Susie Hutchinson 09/22/2008 09:24 AM 1 point
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I never have. When in doubt treat someone as you would like to be treated. If you're in a bad relationship, then get out. If you love someone and they don't love you, then you must accept this...The books I have read make either the man or the woman (usually the man) seem like an idiot that you can mold...and no relationship will ever work when you start from this place.

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http://www.orangelifemagazine.com

helen 09/22/2008 10:10 AM 1 point
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The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman is a fantastic book - my husband and I came across it this spring during our marriage prep class. It asserts that different people have different ways of feeling loved (quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service and physical touch), and once you know which one applies to your partner, you know how to express your love to them in a way that is most meaningful (and vice versa). It's very simple, but very helpful -- and explained a lot about our relationship!

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helen 09/22/2008 10:14 AM 1 point
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5 languages of love is great - it can be applied to all meaningful relationships (parents, children, close friends) and is really straight forward psychology.

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Karen 09/22/2008 10:18 AM 1 point
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The Zahir - about our relationships with ourselves; otherwise I have to agree with the recommendation for He's Just Not That In To You.

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Carrie McCarthy 09/22/2008 10:41 AM 1 point
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Thanks for sweet sharing Lori. On my book list!

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http://carrieanddanielle.com

Carrie McCarthy 09/22/2008 10:45 AM 1 point
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I highly recommend Gottman's relationship workshop. We benefit from his exercises daily, ie move daily towards your partner with small gestures.

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http://carrieanddanielle.com

Jamie Wilson 09/22/2008 10:54 AM 1 point
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"Why Do I Love These People?" by Po Bronson. But I love anything written by Po Bronson.

Read The Cook's Story, the first chapter from the book, here:

http://www.pobronson.com/The%20Cooks%20Story.pdf

I think I cried when I heard him read this story in London. If we all had friends like The Cook, we'd be lucky people.

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Elisabeth 09/22/2008 11:00 AM 1 point
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Keys to the Kingdom, by Alison Armstrong. It's a novelization of the concepts presented in her seminar, Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women. It's a pleasant, easy read and gives a glimpse of how men's minds work a little differently than ours - and how to communicate and express and receive love across the gap.

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Laura 09/22/2008 11:41 AM 1 point
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MATING IN CAPTIVITY: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic by Esther Perel

I heard Esther speak at a conference and was compelled to read her book. I recommend it to anyone committed to keeping or reclaiming erotic passion in their marriage or long-term relationship.

Here's what two reviewers had to say:

“Perel says the kind of things that are so contrary to popular wisdom, they actually sound blasphemous - and yet, at precisely the same moment that you’re being shocked by her, you’re also acknowledging the validity of her ideas. Perel’s ideas are...instantly familiar because they resonate deeply. It’s all rather terrifying in its intuitiveness and its pure rightness.”
-- The Observer (England)

“Esther Perel is a fearless writer and thinker who will challenge your views about sex in a radical and fundamental way. She has the most original, edgy, intelligent, and high-spirited voice out there on passionless sex versus erotic vitality. She writes like a dream, making it nearly impossible to put down this book even when you want to.”
-- Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of Dance of Anger

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kerrymac 09/22/2008 12:03 PM 1 point
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Me too, I have friends who have sworn by that book. I always forget to the title at the library...thanks for the reminder. k
www.snickerdoodles.typepad.com

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kerrymac 09/22/2008 12:16 PM 1 point
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This is such a perfect area for me to grow in right now...fourteen years and three kids have definitely made our relationship take a back seat. I read parenting books, design books, business books,self help books and forget about my poor hubby. We really have lost our connection lately and it makes me sooo sad.
Thanks for the kick in the butt...today I am reserving a few books
from the library. The Five Love Languages seems to be a top pick...I also recently posted about Ian Kerner on my blog and his books look excellent. The titles of the ones I was drawn to are Love in the Time of Colic, Passionista, the Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man, and She Comes first (for my hubbie). I have a link below if you want to see the covers and his website.

I did recently read a book called the Surrendered Wife that really hit home in a few areas...it's about letting go of control and letting your husband take care of you without criticism. I can be very critical of my guy...I need to work on that.
www.snickerdoodles.typepad.com

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alligator_kate 09/22/2008 12:18 PM 1 point
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Letters to a Young Poet by Rilke. Read it in high school, and it has been a large influence on my happy relationship of 12 years and counting...

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Heather (Sophisticated Fresh) 09/22/2008 12:19 PM 1 point
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The Key (And the Name of the Key is Willingness) by Cheri Huber
It's not about relationships per se, but it helps you learn to love and be kind to yourself, so that you can then love and be kind to others.

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alligator_kate 09/22/2008 12:21 PM 1 point
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I agree. Don't be scared off by the Christian angle, either, if that happens not to be your faith. I'm not Christian, and still found it to be a very useful book that happens to be written by a Christian minister.

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Amanda | Cultivated Grace 09/22/2008 12:36 PM 1 point
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There are lots.

While not a "relationship" book per se, Thich Nhat Hahn's Teachings on Love has utterly transformed the way I love and move in this world. The Buddhists have been cultivated love for thousands of years; this is a great introduction to the live-changing practice of loving-kindness meditation. Transformative. This has been a major key for me in healing from child abuse and neglect.

Hold Me Tight, by groundbreaking couples' therapist Sue Johnson, is amazing. It looks at our romantic relationships as attachment bonds (which they are!). Our bonding pattern is formed by our relationships with our parents, and if we enter into relationships unconsciously, we will seek to repeat those patterns in our romances. She does a good job showing how to communicate our feelings and attachment needs with each other so that we can repair both the current relationship and our original wounds, instead of entering into circles of reactive arguing. Great stuff.

A few more: If the Buddha Dated and If the Buddha Got Married are amazing.Sex, Love, and Dharma is good as well. Boundaries and Relationships helped me understand a lot of things about my Self and relationships that I was never taught.

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Steve :: Creative Faith 09/22/2008 01:49 PM 1 point
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The Soul's Code: In Search of Character and Calling by James Hillman. If you know who you are are, how you're wired, and present your self portrait in an authentic way...how can you lose? Well you really can't...and it's my goal in all my relationships - mates, friends or my accountant. If the person across from you gets you...great. If they don't, they can learn...great. If they choose not to, then maybe you should switch grocery stores and edit your contact list.

So easy in words...it's listening to yourself that's the hard part. Read the book...and don't paint your red flags green.

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Kristen 09/22/2008 02:07 PM 1 point
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Honestly, if we all lived by the rules, "All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarden", we'd quit searching for the perfect relationship book!

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Linda Borland-Fitzgerald 09/22/2008 02:08 PM 1 point
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I love Linda Goodman's Sun Signs, boy did she get Gemini exactly right. Did you read Gooberz.. another kind of love story? Of course you did. She is truly was 'other worldly.'

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kelsey 09/22/2008 02:15 PM 1 point
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I agree, Julia. It is just a very cut and dried, black/white view on how many men approach relationships. It helped me get out of the cycle of wasting time analyzing subtle nuances looking for hidden meanings to his "true" feelings rather than accepting the obvious.

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Linda Borland-Fitzgerald 09/22/2008 02:21 PM 1 point
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excellent ideas

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kelsey 09/22/2008 02:22 PM 1 point
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Two books that I have personally found helpful while in the world of dating are The Rules and He's Just Not That Into You. I wouldn't go so far as to say I agree with everything that's in them, rather, they both give solid advice and strategies that I found worked for me. Kept me moving forward and not stuck on a relationship what wasn't working.

I also love the passage On Marriage in Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet on marriage... And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

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Linda Borland-Fitzgerald 09/22/2008 02:48 PM 1 point
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Uh oh.. is Mercury in Retrograde? This will be my 3rd attempt to post my idea of the best relationship book. It's not directly about love relationships but if you can resolve your issues (low self-esteem, etc.) at the root or source of the problem, then every other relationship, including the one you have with yourself, can improve. The book has been around for a while but is still available at all the on-line sites ( for about $15. It's "Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life." There are examples on every page so you will likely see yourself on one of them. In the end you may have to cut your family loose in order to save yourself. I can attest to this desperate action, first hand. My husband severed all ties with his mother after his father died - not easy, but he had to in order to save himself and our marriage. It worked or at least it helped to the degree he was able to function without the chronic anxiety, and therefore was able to function normally in the world and focus on what was most important to him. Man oh man, what we do to our kids....

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Conga Keystone 09/22/2008 02:49 PM 1 point
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I recommend from the bottom of my heart--ONE QUESTION THAT CAN SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE by Harry P. Dunne, Jr., Ph.D., 1991, Perigee Books. In 124 pages, you and/or your partner work (yes, it is hard work) to answer the question--"What's it like to be married to me?"
I'm unsure if this gem is still in print, but I checked and it is available on Amazon.com from other sellers.

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Jennifer Sage 09/22/2008 03:11 PM 1 point
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i have read hundreds (?maybe thousands!!! I blush to think of the forests) and I hesitate to mention one. Is the knowledge useful? Loud Yes Yes.
What makes it important is to compost the knowledge with huge amounts of life experience.
Stop judging and blaming
Start loving (self and others)
Value the moment
Forgive
Laugh at yourself sometimes
Be tender with yourself always
Share your vulnerabilities
Make fair and ethical choices
Be willing to serve others.
Acknowledge that none of this is easy to do all the time in fact it is bloody hard
S..T happens
Love yourself and others anyway with huge compassion and patience
Sometimes it is safer to walk away especially if you or vulnerable ones you are responsible for are in physical danger
Start at top of list again
Write your own list: Trust me it will be better than mine
Have respect for your own wisdom and truth

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Danielle LaPorte 09/22/2008 03:34 PM 1 point
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this one of my most favourite books of all time. ever. changed the way I look at life, and myself.

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http://carrieanddanielle.com

Anna 09/22/2008 05:33 PM 1 point
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I'm sold on this one. Love the title! Always open to an intelligent, leading edge perspective, and good writing is essential. I am something of a book snob and find that I often appreciate the advice but not the writing style. I will look that one up as I find myself in the midst of a very passionate relationship I would like to keep that way.
My own best read has to be Byron Katie's "I Need Your Love -Is that True?" How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval,and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead. It's not new information but what is are the very simple tools that she gives us to find them for ourselves. These tools consist of four questions and a turn around and are known as "the Work" by Byron Katie. This has been by far the most effective body of work that I have encountered. It has helped me find peace even in the most tulmoltuous places in life. I do "the work" regularly when I have a stressful thought and I find I want to share it with every one.

As

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Mary 09/22/2008 05:37 PM 1 point
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The Prophet also has fine words to say about children - in that they come not of you, but through you. Very wise words.

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Jennifer Sage 09/22/2008 06:35 PM 1 point
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Yeah James Hillman.One of the few I woul crawl over many miles of broken glass to hear speak

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Gina 09/22/2008 06:37 PM 1 point
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By far the best reality check books that I loved and recommend to friends are Breaking point, Lies at the alter (one of Oprah's fave as well) and He's just not that into you. These all sound a bit pessimistic but they truly contain insight from a very honest, no nonsense perspective.

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Ottoline 09/22/2008 08:02 PM 1 point
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Whew! I thought everyone would say "The Rules" !

Thanks for some good ideas!

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Becciebeth 09/22/2008 08:47 PM 1 point
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Lots of great books and advise today. The only relationship book I've ever read was Relationship Rescue by Dr. Phil McGraw. I read it as my divorce was being processed. I just thought even after marriage counseling, maybe one more thing could spare my children the pain and hurt this was causing them. Because of his "frankness", it only took the first chapter to confirm I was doing the right thing. It was the only thing, or person, to say, "It's OK, and will work out for the best for everyone, if you work at it." Working on shared custody, at first, was harder than working on my marriage. But it was worth all of it to now have the comfortable "Ex" relationship. I continued to finish the book, which extremly helped with my new marriage. I've learned so much from just being my husbands best friend, then trying so hard to be the perfect wife.

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Danielle LaPorte 09/22/2008 09:43 PM 1 point
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Dr. Phil rubs me in about 100 wrong ways. And...this is a really good relationship book. Super practical and refreshingly straight up.

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http://carrieanddanielle.com

Danielle LaPorte 09/22/2008 09:43 PM 1 point
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Ditto.

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http://carrieanddanielle.com

Jennifer Sage 09/22/2008 11:58 PM 1 point
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What are the rules. It sounds awful how can anyone base their relationships on rules.
May be I will google it and see what I get

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Vix 09/23/2008 03:27 AM 1 point
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Seven levels of intimacy - Matthew Kelly
If the Buddha dated and married are great also

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Jennifer Sage 09/23/2008 03:54 AM 1 point
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rules smules OMG

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kariann 09/23/2008 06:40 AM 1 point
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Orgasms for two by Betty Dodson ... its about so much more than sex - it is about true intimacy and tenderness and respect and life in a most affirming way ... openness and trust and together in the truest sense of the word.

Everyday Blessings by john kabat-zin ... its a parenting book but applies to all relationships ... the author tells us the answer to "what women really want" and we all want the same thing, women, men or children ...

***Sovereignty*** ... so true - allowed to be true to our self, allowed to make our own decisions - not limited or denied... to like what one likes, love what one loves ... we simply need to honor the essence of our partners and children

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Steve :: Creative Faith 09/23/2008 02:04 PM 1 point
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ouch...but indeed.

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Linda Borland-Fitzgerald 09/24/2008 12:36 AM 1 point
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It's about dating

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1 /people/writer11/ /people/writer11/following/ http://www.simplybeach.ca

Val 09/27/2008 07:04 AM 1 point
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Thank you for such a rich list of books on relationships! I've compiled a bibliography of the these titles, and will be starting my library search later today.
A book I discovered this summer and really found enlightening is The One: Discovering the Secrets of Soul Mate Love, by Kathy Freston. It includes a very thought provoking chapter on handling crises. While many other sources might be judgmental on "The Affair", Kathy's message is that being attracted to someone outside your marriage may be your spiritual hunger at work. She says "If we heed this wake-up call soulfuly, we can use it to open our hearts and minds, which will often bring us back to nourish the relationship we're in." Perhaps a topic for a future blog-- Resisting Temptations?

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Vanessa Rae 10/01/2008 10:52 AM 1 point
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"The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship" (A toltec wisdom book) by Don Miguel Ruiz.

He also wrote "The Four Agreements" which could also be described as a relationship book.

Both are insightful and inspiring.

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1 /people/VanessaRae/ /people/VanessaRae/following/ http://www.forhavenssake.blogspot.com

love relationships 12/08/2008 04:59 PM 1 point
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Letters to a Young Poet by Rilke. Read it in high school, and it has been a large influence on my happy relationship of 12 years and counting...

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http://www.grablove.com/