What do you need to let go of?
Daily | August 19th, 2008
Letting go is an art form that can make the difference between ugliness or beauty, turmoil or grace. Whether it’s stuff in your home, thoughts in your head, or connections to people and places, with practice, you can live in a way in which letting go is second nature – and presence takes first place. The beauty with learning to let go is that releasing the little things (small grievances, bits of clutter) can make for big changes.
Carrie says: I need to let go of the belief that I have to be good at a lot of things. That I “should” be well read, great in the garden, happy on the computer… it’s too much! It keeps me from being present.
Danielle says: I need to let go of wanting other people to let go – expecting (okay, demanding) that they change faster to keep up with my… demands. AND… I need to keep moving at my own pace. I love my pace. I can move at a good clip because I let go of things so easily. Except, I do have some white cowboy boots that look total trash on me, but, the Viva Las Vegas in me just can’t part with them. But they need to go. I have moved on. I will give them away this weekend.
Today’s blog: The Parable of The Rope, from Peter Russell.
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August 19th, 2008 at 1:02 am
I need to let go of my insecurities with those I love most; I need to let go of the fear that they really don’t love me and never could. I need to let go of all the old ghosts who just can’t come back to me. I need to let go of comparing people all the time. I need to let go of the young and fairly amazing me and accept the current, aging average and good enough me. Ashe
August 19th, 2008 at 1:17 am
I need to let go of my tendency to think about everything and getting frustrated when things are not done the way I want them when I want them. I worry about the smallest stuff which my friends say, stem from my desire to always be in control of things. It’s not the kind of control where the motivation is to exercise power over anyone but more this weird sense of relief knowing I have things in check. I worry that the tree lantern bulbs are not getting fixed on schedule, I couldn’t wait to have the plant pots arranged as I imagined them while I was having coffee out in the garden this morning (I ended up leaving the house late for work because I wanted to personally tell my helper how a pot should be turned this way and the other that way), I stress myself unnecessarily sometimes, insisting that I need to get this cute little living room ornament I want to show my friends who are not visiting until two months later. This can be too much and though my loved ones and friends are amused with it (they know my heart too much that they’re not affected in any bad way by this “idiosyncrasy” of mine), it can be taxing at times having to always be on top of things. I need to relax and be more patient.
August 19th, 2008 at 2:26 am
I need to let go of my Hyperactive Inner Editor. I edit myself so heavily when it comes to presenting my real self to others: “I can’t say that, what would they think?!” “I shouldn’t let them know I think that; what if they don’t like it?” The H.I.E. especially works like mad on situations where I’m standing up for myself… yet I can act as an advocate for someone else without feeling awkward or self-conscious–and without the H.I.E. flailing about. I will confidently and gracefully advocate for someone else, and then go into super-hyper-edit mode when I need to do so for myself. And *that* needs to go! (I’m workin’ on it…)
August 19th, 2008 at 2:29 am
I released a love of two decades, one I was waiting for, who is not showing up anytime soon. Oh, pushing that letter in the post was like extracting teeth that are intent on being the permanents that are simply not meant to be part of the landscape. May he find companionship that fulfills him, and me as well, Yes, that would be my prayer.
August 19th, 2008 at 2:31 am
i support you in that marissa
August 19th, 2008 at 2:47 am
Judging others and myself by some yardstick that came from somewhere (my upbringing?) and I’m sick and tired of it.
Expectations. I had no idea how much I carry expectations about EVERYTHING. It’s annoying. It’s excellent that I’m noticing it. After all I had to become aware of it in order to let it go. Though as I write I wonder if I ever will.
My house. I love my little house. We’ve lived here for nearly 11 years. It’s been decorated in vivid colours to reflect my personality and the bathroom has been completely renovated. However, I’m too attached to it and I can feel this is no longer healthy for me.
Perhaps what I’m aiming for in my life is what the Buddhists call ‘compassionate detachment’.
August 19th, 2008 at 2:48 am
The way you phrased that was quite poetic. I could very much see that in a book of poetry. Sad, raw, but somehow lovely too.
August 19th, 2008 at 3:27 am
I’ve got this awful ‘little miss perfect’ issue that flares up if I do something ‘wrong’ – like burning a pancake or forgetting to water the plants. I need to let go of the frustration I feel. No one is perfect, no one is supposed to be, and love and abundance in my life has nothing to do with how ‘perfectly’ I live.
August 19th, 2008 at 3:29 am
Good for you, Deborah. Congratulations. Companionship will find you, when you’re open to it, and until it does you can revel in the strength you have. Love vibes out to you!
August 19th, 2008 at 3:51 am
I would like to let go of the fear that I am going to be alone forever. I am very independent and engaged with work, family and friends, but I am TIRED of being alone. I feel like I’m in purgatory—very unsettled. But I cannot control the whole Prince Charming thing, can I? Where is he? I am scared that I let him go in my youth and now I’m just destined to be on my own forever. Maybe I am supposed to be on my own. Am I too independent? Am I too set in my ways to accept someone in my personal space? This fear keeps me from feeling okay. Do I let the fear go? Am I responsible for doing something about it? Mental brain squatters have moved in and are setting up house!
August 19th, 2008 at 4:02 am
I am letting go of that belief in me that I have to be somehow MORE. I am letting go of the old patterns of behaviour drilled into me about heirarchy and embracing my belief that we’re all just people.
I wish we could have a big bonfire for all these things we need to let go of!
August 19th, 2008 at 4:18 am
I need to let go of the belief that family should get on and accept each other as they are. I need to let go of the critical thoughts that hit me each time I speak with someone in my family, they aren’t present at any other time and that annoys me! Why does family have so much unwanted power and control?
August 19th, 2008 at 4:25 am
Like many humans, I find it difficult to let go of things. I have come to a place in my life…with the last child now an adult…where I need to simplify by getting rid of the accumulation of stuff. I held on to some items, simply because they hold memories. I am beginning to understand the memory is within me and not in things.
The most important thing to let go of is anger. I know anger drains
my energy, yet I find myself simmering because of another person’s
behavior. When I allow myself to get caught up like that, I am
reinforcing that negativity…giving it a life of its own. I suspect
this is where forgiveness comes in. We aren’t required to forget a
bad experience at the hands of someone else, but if we hold on to it
we are causing ourselves even greater harm.
August 19th, 2008 at 4:36 am
I need to let go of my mission to change my adult children. Is that an oxymoron? LOL. As a recovered helicopter parent, I am always ready to fall off the wagon, especially when I see my quarter-of-a-century daughter’s buttocks peeking out from underneath her dress. The saving grace was that she had inadvertently shrunk the dress. She added a pain of skinny jeans and looked fabulous. Sigh of relief.
August 19th, 2008 at 4:52 am
I need to let go of thinking that my life is comparable to other people’s lives. I need to trust that the way I live and the way I love and the way I work is the way it should be done for me. I need to let go of comparing.
August 19th, 2008 at 4:56 am
Oops – meant to reply to you and not write my own response. What’s happening inside of you is natural. You are longing for something, someone. Live inside that longing. Know that as frustrating as this feels, the longing is actual sweet and special. I know. I lived inside of a deep longing for so many years. I’m with someone now and there are times when I remember back to what I was longing for. There are many times that I rethink how I would have iived my single days. There is no prince charming. There are many many excellent men. Enjoy men. Long for them but in the process don’t measure each one to see if he is the one. Relax into your longing like it is a good deep stretch.
August 19th, 2008 at 4:56 am
I need to let go of thinking that my life is comparable to other people’s lives. I need to trust that the way I live and the way I love and the way I work is the way it should be done for me. I need to let go of comparing.
August 19th, 2008 at 4:59 am
You have no idea how comforting and mind settling your words are. Thank you so very much, Elizabeth! You made me feel better and uncrazy.
August 19th, 2008 at 5:13 am
I try to keep remembering “progress not perfection” but it is difficult to let go of trying to be perfect. I need to let go of my job as editor of a small arts and literary journal. I love the mission, but all the time spent helping others with their creative pursuits, prevents me from working on my own.
August 19th, 2008 at 5:19 am
This past weekend! Got in a fight with my boyfriend, unearthed stuff, cried, was insanely exhausted afterward, so I needed to take a night to myself last night.
I’m still feeling residue over it, but I’m not sure how to fully move past.
August 19th, 2008 at 5:33 am
I need to let go of worrying what other people think. I need to let go of wanting other people to act a certain way. I need to let go of perfection. I need to let go of thinking that my actions can significantly hurt someone, when in truth I am a nice person and would never intentionally hurt someone. I need to let go of chronic niceness, and holding my tongue. I need to let go of pretending everything is okay even if its not. I need to let go of my emotions when I am having them, rather than holding on to them or holding them in.
August 19th, 2008 at 5:40 am
My twin nemeses: perfectionism & control!
August 19th, 2008 at 5:43 am
worry
August 19th, 2008 at 5:44 am
I need to let go of fear. My fear of disappointing others, or not being good enough. All my life I have second guessed myself. This is my greatest fault. It has stopped me from pursuing paths I should have taken a long time ago. I need to let go and know that it will be OK.
August 19th, 2008 at 5:44 am
my worry causes my perfectionism and control state
August 19th, 2008 at 5:47 am
perfectionism
August 19th, 2008 at 6:08 am
I need to let go of not feeling good about myself. Of feeling like I should be at a certain point in my life where I have no more doubt and insecurities, where I am supposed to have it all figured out, a Bachelor’s under my belt, a career before me that brings in income for all that I want. In it’s place I would like to be a loving, resourceful and creative stay-at-home mom, I would like to have hobbies that become passions that become opportunities to make a living, I would like to let go of doubt and embrace diligence and patience. Diligence to sow what is true and meaningful, patience for the reaping.
August 19th, 2008 at 6:11 am
I need to let go of certain creative decisions and time-consuming finishing touches on a film i am working on. I’m continually finding things to improve upon, much to the chagrin of the people around me. I need to understand that at some point, you can call something “done” although it can still “need tweaking” for years to come. Its taking up waaay too much mental space to make lists of things that technically i can’t adjust, or that people working with me say cannot be changed at this point in time…I guess i need to let go of the “perfectionist” within me….
August 19th, 2008 at 6:11 am
Ditto, Danielle. I really need to let go of the need to “help” people be more like… me.
And I’m all for purging. Truly, I am. But some things become artifacts, art pieces, part of our personal material culture. Those things, I keep. White cowboy boots aren’t what you’d wear, but wonder how they’d look on a bookshelf?
Hmmm. Look at me. Encouraging Danielle to be more like…me. Gotta let go of that.
August 19th, 2008 at 6:19 am
I need to let go of the thought that if I don’t accomplish everything I ever wanted to accomplish by the time I’m 30, then it’s over. Hello…30 is young…REALLY YOUNG. I wonder where the hell I came up with that arbitrary number anyway. Probably something that popped into my head when I was 13. And yet…30…it’s so near and when I think of its nearness I become paralyzed with anxiety over what I’ve not done. It’s ugly.
August 19th, 2008 at 6:27 am
clothes that don’t fit
August 19th, 2008 at 6:28 am
him… I gave it a fair try. I gave him time to do what he was supposed to do. he got too comfortable. I really needed him to man up. sometimes I wonder if my definition of a man is different from what he believes a man should be. either way… I gotta let him go. I can’t make him be a man, he has to do that on his own. I will forever love the way I feel for him… the ups and downs, it was all worth it. my favorite quote: when life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it’s not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end.
dani.
August 19th, 2008 at 6:30 am
as Dr. Seuss puts it… “Be who you are and say what you feel. Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter won’t mind.”
I also have a hard time with always being the “nice” person when, in fact, I’m beating myself up inside. I’ve always been fond of those who are themselves without apologies, even the sly and I hate to admit that. But it’s their sheer fearlessness that I envy. Their lack of fear in the rejection department. I am coming around to realize that if i accept myself, if I can stand by what I say and who I am, then the tendency to prance around on eggshells becomes less second nature and the confidence level in me rises. I encourage you to give it a try. I encourage you to be who you are and say what you feel. You’ve come so far. Live Sincerely.
August 19th, 2008 at 6:31 am
I need to let go of a few casual friends that aren’t positive and enjoyable to be around (and thus embrace the positive friends by making clear space for them), and then I need to not care what the jettisoned ones will think. They might be angry, but so what? I shouldn’t care.
August 19th, 2008 at 6:40 am
I need to let go of blaming my father for my weight insecurities. Even if, by his standards, I’m not as skinny as he’d like me to be, I need to believe that he does think I’m beautiful and that I have his approval.
Perhaps… it’s more of me letting go of still needing my parents’ approval and praise. I’m 30 now… I need to have more faith in myself.
August 19th, 2008 at 7:18 am
I need to let go of the “guilt” of not having a child. I go over and over the reasons why I should have or shouldn’t have. It is a vicious cycle. I’m now 42 and for various reasons I will not be having children now. I need to let it go. I made the decision and it was a good one for me & my husband. No amount of evaluating will change the outcome.
August 19th, 2008 at 7:28 am
I have written a list of 101 things to do in 1001 days. It is totally amazing the things I am getting crossed off my list because I have it written down and is part of a bigger picture. The 1001 days is great because the activities can be spread out, I’ve got time.
http://ttelroc.blogspot.com/2008/01/101-things-to-do-in-1001-days.html
That link is to my list in my blog, but also has the link to the original website that started it.
August 19th, 2008 at 7:39 am
“Diligence to sow what is true and meaningful, patience for the reaping.”
This is my mantra for the day. I love it. Thank you.
August 19th, 2008 at 7:45 am
1. The yearning for my mother to love me.
2. Worry about money.
3. Distrust in myself.
August 19th, 2008 at 7:55 am
The belief that people in corporations will operate according to logic! I’ve just been e-mailing back and forth with head office over something that should logically have been done in the first place – my fault for expecting it of them!
August 19th, 2008 at 7:59 am
Dead relationships.
August 19th, 2008 at 8:10 am
I need to let go of the last fifteen pounds of pregnancy weight. It feels like an additional 50 and I don’t want to be a fat middle aged mom, even if it’s mostly mental.
August 19th, 2008 at 8:13 am
I need to let go of the yearning for my dad to love me in a certain way and forgive him for his lack of presence in my life. He is human and didn’t have a great childhood framework to pull from and I just need to believe that he loves me even though he doesn’t say it.
August 19th, 2008 at 8:16 am
Resentment (which I have been praying on lately). Debilitating fears that keep me stagnant – fears that stem from a deep-rooted feeling of inadequecy. Toxic relationships that drain me (my ex, who also is one of the largest pockets of my resentment). Jobs/work that doesn’t fulfill me and barely sustains me. The outer clutter I mentioned in my last post. Procrastination. 96 more lbs.
August 19th, 2008 at 8:23 am
See yesterday’s comment re clutter – need to let go of at least one gentleman friend!
August 19th, 2008 at 8:33 am
i need to let go of my body-loathing. while i’ve come a looong way, i still could use more radical self-acceptance. i have it at times, but not consistently. especially as i grow older and gravity, body changes, new lines on face… ripples where i didn’t even know they could exist (upper arms!!!) etc… i want to love my body better and let go of that mean, critical voice that is always lurking around somewhere, ready to pounce.
August 19th, 2008 at 8:39 am
A lot… Old resentments that gnaw at me once in a while. It would be great if never…
August 19th, 2008 at 8:42 am
Yes, I was remiss… I need to let go of extra weight. But it’s not for lack of trying… But I relate… resentments and weight…
Cécile
August 19th, 2008 at 8:58 am
I am currently letting go of looking to others to affirm my value or decisions. It feels really nice to be coming into a new place of seeing myself with innate value and the ability to forge my own path!
I read through many of the posts and wish all of you the best in releasing and coming into a new way of being!
August 19th, 2008 at 9:19 am
Indeed love vibes to you!!! Kudos!!
Cécile
August 19th, 2008 at 9:24 am
Julia, squatters haven’t set in yet, but they may soon. I am on the exact same boat. I am curious to read what our friends have to say…
Cécile
August 19th, 2008 at 9:41 am
I need to let go of a few things (thanks for asking)! Clothing that just isn’t “me”, opportunities that don’t serve me but seemed too good to pass up at the time, childhood insecurities that it’s (well past) time to grow out of, ideas about where I “should” be at my age. And the list goes on. It’s one thing to recognize the areas that need work and another to actually DO something about all of this. Ok, here goes… this weekend… I’m going to sort through my clothing and put a call out for a clothing swap with friends (whose clothing I’d actually wear). It’s a start.
August 19th, 2008 at 9:44 am
Thanks, Danielle. I need to let go of judgement and wanting other people to change (and be more like me?)
Especially my sister – she has a beautiful house crammed from basement to attic with beautiful things that are crying out for room to breathe – and she still collects more. It drives me crazy.
So I am letting go off judgement and replace it with compassion.
August 19th, 2008 at 9:54 am
I am also in the learning curve of accepting the current, aging me. And yet I am thankful for the wisdom of my years.
August 19th, 2008 at 9:59 am
That’s a good one about friends. I need to let go of friendships that USED to feed my soul, but somehow no longer — not for lack of trying!
August 19th, 2008 at 10:06 am
30 IS really young. I felt this same way when I was 30. I didn’t own anything, really. No first hand furniture. I hadn’t won any awards, didn’t have any savings. I hadn’t found The One (that’s a whole other theory worth letting go of.) I’m 39 now (which confuses me…just yesterday I posing for my high school grad photo.) And you know, I still have the same “I haven’t accomplished enough” feeling. The difference is, I’m really deeply jazzed but what I have accomplished. And, I’m at peace that I will always be terrifically eager for more.
August 19th, 2008 at 10:13 am
Dani…I have to lovingly disagree with this one: “when life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it’s not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end.” If we didn’t grieve for the loss of amazing things, we’d keep shrinking back to small expectations instead of Bigness. You deserve the grand things that life gives you. Don’t talk your self out of worthiness. Insist on being unreasonable. Justa thought.
August 19th, 2008 at 10:20 am
you got there…your father’s approval has nothing to do with the truth and beauty of who you are – on any level.
August 19th, 2008 at 10:23 am
Dani… I’m in the same place right now. I recently came to the realization that no matter how much I care, no matter how supportive I am, no matter how much I push (or don’t), he needs to get past his issues on his own. My man will not man up, and has too much ill-placed pride and ego to bite the bullet and do what needs to be done. So, I’m letting him go. Granted, I have to do it slow (there are other people to consider in the mix), but it’s time. I’m sad and frightened of the changes that will occur, but I cannot deal with things the way they are and the negativity that he generates. My kids deserve a more positive, well-rounded influence in their lives, and so do I.
August 19th, 2008 at 10:23 am
Oh, do you have to? I think so many of us were rooting for keeping BOTH of them. Well…if you must.
August 19th, 2008 at 10:30 am
I need to let go of any insecurities I have…..I think I’m holding myself back sometimes…..I definitely don’t want to do that!!!
August 19th, 2008 at 10:32 am
Hmmm – perhaps I’ll reconsider!
August 19th, 2008 at 10:33 am
I admire that you haven’t settled for someone unworthy of you. I know so many women who’ve settled for unhealthy relationships because of their fear of being alone. The women in my life who I find most inspiring are those who are single or waited a long time before committing to someone. This time alone gives you the space to become yourself in your own skin, and the space to have stories to tell. It was when I found acceptance and gratitude for my life as a single person with my whole heart that I met my partner – and I don’t think that was coincidence.
August 19th, 2008 at 10:35 am
Make one! I did this years ago to help let go of an ex, and it worked wonders.
August 19th, 2008 at 10:39 am
If they treat you like the goddess that you are, keep ‘em both! Once they start downshifting…NEXT!
August 19th, 2008 at 10:45 am
Love that bod! Think about how it works. We breathe, ingest, consider, squeal, type, tap-dance – it’s a miracle, actually. My partner sees people every day with medical issues, and his stories have transformed my body image. There’s so much that can go wrong, and I am so grateful that things are still going right. It’s a shame the world thinks in ’size x’ because we’re all so different in our bods – love yours, love its potential, and love that you wake up every day.
August 19th, 2008 at 10:53 am
Self judgment, criticism, and disparagement when and where none is required.
August 19th, 2008 at 10:56 am
This poem by Mary Oliver says it all:
In Blackwater Woods
Look, the trees are turning their own bodies
into pillars of light,
are giving off the rich fragrance
of cinnamon and fulfillment,
the long tapers of cattails are brushing
and floating away over the blue shoulders of the ponds,
and every pond, no matter what its name is
is nameless now.
Every year, everything I have ever learned
in my lifetime leads back to this:
the fires and the black river of loss
whose other side is salvation,
whose meaning none of us will ever know.
To live in this world you need to be able to do three things:
to love what is mortal,
to hold it against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it,
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.
August 19th, 2008 at 10:57 am
I need to stop being a people pleaser. I hope new generations of little girls will learn first and foremost to be them self and voice their opinions. It is no use to play small just to make people comfortable. Now it is time for me to be comfortable!! And I must say it is quite fun;)
August 19th, 2008 at 10:58 am
I had to do that a few years ago. The drama that was contained in that friends life was sucking all the life out of me. She wouldn’t change and her drama wasn’t going to change – so I took myself out of it. It was one of my top 10 great decisions of my life.
August 19th, 2008 at 11:01 am
As long as they don’t each think they are exclusive, then keep them both. Living a lie is stressful, but if they both know and they treat you well – then keep them honey!
August 19th, 2008 at 11:17 am
I think people have more in common than they think. I always have wanted my mothers love. I have come to realize that she the best she could at the time.I also visualize her giving me a hug and me smiling. It makes me more relaxed and our relationship more grown up. Love is unconditional and you should not do anything to make your mother love you. Your birth gave you that right. If the relationship is a one way street I suggest you move on. Do not be sad about it, it is all about your growth. Do not give your power to her as you do now when you need her love. Be strong, start to know yourself and learn to love yourself. From now on I think you should have ME time all the TIME:) It is fun. Love and encouragement from someone who has been down the same road!
August 19th, 2008 at 11:25 am
Julia – You are a strong, self-assured, independent woman. That is NOT bad. In fact, it is who you are and don’t waste any precious time worrying over not sharing it with someone. My Dad told me before I married…Stacy, you will be happier reading a good book by yourself than being miserable with the wrong person…something to that effect. It resonated. Because obviously your special soulmate has not arrived yet. He will…be patient. I waited a long time for mine and kissed a lot of toads. He will be that someone who has chosen to love you for who you are…with that sense of independence and freedom. You have your family and friends…so enjoy them, and yourself. And don’t let the squatters steal your joy!!!!
August 19th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Oh some very soul-baring and raw answers. Made me tear up. I have a lot of unresolved resentment stemming from growing up with an alcoholic father who left us while I was in 10th grade. We still remain close (he’s in differenct city but email is wonderful). My homeopathic wonder doctor told me about cellular memory…very interesting topic. But certain stimuli can trigger those sad memories/thoughts. Did anyone know that?? I function very normally and am lauded for my positive, happy, upbeat attitude. But inside I have the squatters too. It’s the whole Battlefield of the Mind sydrome. Though my Dad has now been recovered for 20+ years and is very spiritual. He asked my forgiveness just months ago (as did he from my sis and mom) and I gave it to him, of course. So needing to just let go…let God and keep loving!
August 19th, 2008 at 11:57 am
kristin marissa, cecile,
ah my fellow night owls…i feel the support…gratitude
i see this amazing silk web with dew drops like diamonds all interconnected so organically…this is magick!
August 19th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
That’s a great way to put i! Certain friendships that used to feed my soul, but somehow no longer. That’s exactly right.
August 19th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Thank you.
I am a therapist and work with other women on this issue all the time. However, that little seed is within me that keeps yearning to be loved by someone who never will. Indeed, she doesn’t love anyone. She is quite mentally disturbed and I know that. It’s hardwired in me, innate. Usually I can deal with it, but she can still push my buttons like no one else can.
August 19th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
I love that Dr. Seuss was even more wise than he was silly!
I am beginning to see a pattern with all of us style statement/designer types: neurotic need for approval leads to perfectionism and fear of rejection, how I relate to those two!
For my own part a sudden split from my children’s father 3 and a half years ago allowed me to let go with unprecedented speed and I would have to say grace. Once I stepped out of knowing exactly how my life should be I was able to let go of my identity as someone’s wife, consummate hostess, homeschooling mother, political activist, all of it. Relationships that didn’t serve, my perfect Martha Stewart-esque image, the beautiful house I designed and help build…So what!! Not that I recommend we all have to burn the house down in order to let go but sometimes a good conflagration really helps.
August 19th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Ohhhhh! Yes. Mary Oliver, Mary Oliver.
Thank you so much for pull up of this gem of hers.
August 19th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
I need to let go of my ‘guard’. Put it down & open up to a wonderful life & love with my husband & kids, and quick walking around so frickin’ on the defense like everyone is out to get me…. LET GO OF THE PAST!!!
August 19th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
I need to let go of my need for perfection in myself and my life (it is the 1 in me for those who know the eneagram!) I need to find the perfection in myself and everything around me NOT being perfect!
August 19th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
I too have realised some people don’t have the tools to be present in our lives. And that we have the power to create our own families.
Blessings to you Stella.
August 19th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Read through comments and feel like we are so in the right place at the right time. Carrie & Danielle’s book is so fabulous and so right on. The way we beat ourselves up and think we are “average” or not unique is why we need to find ourselves. I am about half way through determining my style statement and this is it for me. I have been a self-help junkie for years and already, I am ready to kick ass and celebrate being me. Thanks to Carrie & Danielle and all of you bloggers. We can do it
August 19th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Thank you so much for your response! I feel that perhaps I haven’t appreciated what I do have with my “whole heart”; I just think I have. Your words are profound. I appreciate your insight.
August 19th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement! I guess kissing toads is a good learning experience. I’ll never wonder what’s “out there”!!!! Think I’ll go enjoy an uninterupted bubble bath and a glass of vino!
August 19th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
My fear of money.
August 19th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
Lori and Crys,
Perfectionism and control. One goes hand in hand with the other…
I like to get as close to perfect as I can, and we type A’s love control… what else is new…
Cécile
August 19th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
I need to let go of the idea that I’m in some kind of race, with others, with time, with my potential, my own dreams.
It is time to slow down and boogie.
August 19th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
I need to let go of regret about missed opportunities, and focus on opportunities that lie ahead.
August 19th, 2008 at 9:18 pm
You are most welcome, I so needed to have the words pass by my fingers again and I am glad Mary’s words could touch your heart.
VJK
August 19th, 2008 at 9:20 pm
Kristin- Your reply was stated perfectly! I have many friends who married young and settled, and many of them are now unhappy and getting divorced. As a single 32 yr old, it’s sometimes unsettling going to events where most people are married. I echo your sentiments on ‘taking space to become yourself in your own skin’– it’s SO important to know yourself and your needs before committing to a partner. I’m incredibly confident that I’ll find the man for me, and in the meantime am focused on enjoying my single life– happy, independent and loving life!
August 19th, 2008 at 9:20 pm
. old relationships that no longer serve me. Dan Millman’s book, ‘The Life You Were Born To Live,’ breaks down your birth numbers to reveal your life lessons and mine is to stop worrying about what others think of me. So, I tend to not want to let go of friends who sometimes need to move on. The friends who do leave, tend to return and our relationship seems to have grown richer in it’s absence. I’m not sure what that’s about but intend to explore it within my current relationship with a friend who has come back into my life after over a decade. She had ended it without telling me why. It hurt a lot and when we recently reunited, it was wonderful. We seemed to sort it out and it no longer matters. It’s as though no time at all passed, and then suddenly our friendship was renewed and enriched. Does this make sense to anyone?
August 19th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Oh my. Who is this Mary Oliver? I must check her out.
August 19th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
I need to let go of the idea that people can read my mind and sense my needs. It doesn’t happen often, but when I do have expectations and get disappointed by someone it is SUCH a disappointment for me and deeply saddens me for a day or two. I try to sense and respond to the needs of others, so I mistakenly assume they can sense my needs and fulfill them.
August 19th, 2008 at 9:44 pm
I need to let go of some pain from my past. I lost a very close friendship, it dissolved mysteriously, and I still do not know why. I feel great distrust and hurt. I am wary to trust other women and make friendships. Yes, one would expect this pain to be reserved for ex-lovers…yes, there are past loves…but I am mostly over them. I am hurt and frustrated that I cannot put this behind me. I wish to let go and move on – so that I might be open and receptive to good people around me. I do believe that there are good people around me.
August 20th, 2008 at 5:40 am
Mel, I’m going through the same thing. I am letting go of “helping,” pushing, researching, talking to get him to take responsibility. I am willing to let go of him because my children and deserve a better model and I am choosing a light and peaceful life.
August 20th, 2008 at 9:42 am
I need to let go of my desire to be anywhere else other than where i am in the moment. Each moment is always perfectly taken care of.
August 20th, 2008 at 11:01 am
Guilt…for no good reason.
August 21st, 2008 at 6:50 am
I’m struggling right now with the need to ask you why you feel you need to let go of your little house? I always feel that need to be the “mom” to the universe….off it goes! Like a balloon into the air!
August 21st, 2008 at 9:03 am
It might sound silly but I believe I’m co-dependent to the house! I tend to hide inside of it. I want more freedom, more space, more community involvement instead I am too often within the four walls of my little house.
Of course I’m also open to the possiblity that this isn’t the reason at all and perhaps the true reason will come to me – down the road!
August 25th, 2008 at 7:19 am
Anything beige.
October 8th, 2008 at 10:48 am
It seems to me that there is nothing left to do.