What do you need to let go of?

Daily | August 19th, 2008 by Carrie McCarthy

Letting go is an art form that can make the difference between ugliness or beauty, turmoil or grace. Whether it’s stuff in your home, thoughts in your head, or connections to people and places, with practice, you can live in a way in which letting go is second nature - and presence takes first place. The beauty with learning to let go is that releasing the little things (small grievances, bits of clutter) can make for big changes.

Carrie says: I need to let go of the belief that I have to be good at a lot of things. That I “should” be well read, great in the garden, happy on the computer… it’s too much! It keeps me from being present.

Danielle says: I need to let go of wanting other people to let go - expecting (okay, demanding) that they change faster to keep up with my… demands. AND… I need to keep moving at my own pace. I love my pace. I can move at a good clip because I let go of things so easily. Except, I do have some white cowboy boots that look total trash on me, but, the Viva Las Vegas in me just can’t part with them. But they need to go. I have moved on. I will give them away this weekend.

Today’s blog: The Parable of The Rope, from Peter Russell.

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Connie 08/19/2008 04:02 AM 1 point
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I need to let go of my insecurities with those I love most; I need to let go of the fear that they really don't love me and never could. I need to let go of all the old ghosts who just can't come back to me. I need to let go of comparing people all the time. I need to let go of the young and fairly amazing me and accept the current, aging average and good enough me. Ashe

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Carrie M. 08/19/2008 04:17 AM 1 point
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I need to let go of my tendency to think about everything and getting frustrated when things are not done the way I want them when I want them. I worry about the smallest stuff which my friends say, stem from my desire to always be in control of things. It's not the kind of control where the motivation is to exercise power over anyone but more this weird sense of relief knowing I have things in check. I worry that the tree lantern bulbs are not getting fixed on schedule, I couldn't wait to have the plant pots arranged as I imagined them while I was having coffee out in the garden this morning (I ended up leaving the house late for work because I wanted to personally tell my helper how a pot should be turned this way and the other that way), I stress myself unnecessarily sometimes, insisting that I need to get this cute little living room ornament I want to show my friends who are not visiting until two months later. This can be too much and though my loved ones and friends are amused with it (they know my heart too much that they're not affected in any bad way by this "idiosyncrasy" of mine), it can be taxing at times having to always be on top of things. I need to relax and be more patient.

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Marissa 08/19/2008 05:26 AM 1 point
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I need to let go of my Hyperactive Inner Editor. I edit myself so heavily when it comes to presenting my real self to others: "I can't say that, what would they think?!" "I shouldn't let them know I think that; what if they don't like it?" The H.I.E. especially works like mad on situations where I'm standing up for myself... yet I can act as an advocate for someone else without feeling awkward or self-conscious--and without the H.I.E. flailing about. I will confidently and gracefully advocate for someone else, and then go into super-hyper-edit mode when I need to do so for myself. And *that* needs to go! (I'm workin' on it...)

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http://www.dailystruggles.com

deborah drake 08/19/2008 05:29 AM 1 point
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I released a love of two decades, one I was waiting for, who is not showing up anytime soon. Oh, pushing that letter in the post was like extracting teeth that are intent on being the permanents that are simply not meant to be part of the landscape. May he find companionship that fulfills him, and me as well, Yes, that would be my prayer.

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http://deborahdrake.blogspot.com

deborah drake 08/19/2008 05:31 AM 1 point
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i support you in that marissa

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http://deborahdrake.blogspot.com

Joannie 08/19/2008 05:47 AM 1 point
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Judging others and myself by some yardstick that came from somewhere (my upbringing?) and I'm sick and tired of it.

Expectations. I had no idea how much I carry expectations about EVERYTHING. It's annoying. It's excellent that I'm noticing it. After all I had to become aware of it in order to let it go. Though as I write I wonder if I ever will.

My house. I love my little house. We've lived here for nearly 11 years. It's been decorated in vivid colours to reflect my personality and the bathroom has been completely renovated. However, I'm too attached to it and I can feel this is no longer healthy for me.

Perhaps what I'm aiming for in my life is what the Buddhists call 'compassionate detachment'.

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Marissa 08/19/2008 05:48 AM 1 point
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The way you phrased that was quite poetic. I could very much see that in a book of poetry. Sad, raw, but somehow lovely too.

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http://www.dailystruggles.com

Kristin 08/19/2008 06:27 AM 1 point
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I've got this awful 'little miss perfect' issue that flares up if I do something 'wrong' - like burning a pancake or forgetting to water the plants. I need to let go of the frustration I feel. No one is perfect, no one is supposed to be, and love and abundance in my life has nothing to do with how 'perfectly' I live.

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Kristin 08/19/2008 06:29 AM 1 point
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Good for you, Deborah. Congratulations. Companionship will find you, when you're open to it, and until it does you can revel in the strength you have. Love vibes out to you!

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Julia 08/19/2008 06:51 AM 1 point
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I would like to let go of the fear that I am going to be alone forever. I am very independent and engaged with work, family and friends, but I am TIRED of being alone. I feel like I'm in purgatory---very unsettled. But I cannot control the whole Prince Charming thing, can I? Where is he? I am scared that I let him go in my youth and now I'm just destined to be on my own forever. Maybe I am supposed to be on my own. Am I too independent? Am I too set in my ways to accept someone in my personal space? This fear keeps me from feeling okay. Do I let the fear go? Am I responsible for doing something about it? Mental brain squatters have moved in and are setting up house!

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Jamie 08/19/2008 07:02 AM 1 point
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I am letting go of that belief in me that I have to be somehow MORE. I am letting go of the old patterns of behaviour drilled into me about heirarchy and embracing my belief that we're all just people.

I wish we could have a big bonfire for all these things we need to let go of!

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http://www.openthedoor.ca

Jody 08/19/2008 07:18 AM 1 point
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I need to let go of the belief that family should get on and accept each other as they are. I need to let go of the critical thoughts that hit me each time I speak with someone in my family, they aren't present at any other time and that annoys me! Why does family have so much unwanted power and control?

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http://www.boutiquemoney.com.au

Shirley Ann Hallee 08/19/2008 07:25 AM 1 point
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Like many humans, I find it difficult to let go of things. I have come to a place in my life...with the last child now an adult...where I need to simplify by getting rid of the accumulation of stuff. I held on to some items, simply because they hold memories. I am beginning to understand the memory is within me and not in things.

The most important thing to let go of is anger. I know anger drains
my energy, yet I find myself simmering because of another person's
behavior. When I allow myself to get caught up like that, I am
reinforcing that negativity...giving it a life of its own. I suspect
this is where forgiveness comes in. We aren't required to forget a
bad experience at the hands of someone else, but if we hold on to it
we are causing ourselves even greater harm.

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Girl-Woman 08/19/2008 07:36 AM 1 point
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I need to let go of my mission to change my adult children. Is that an oxymoron? LOL. As a recovered helicopter parent, I am always ready to fall off the wagon, especially when I see my quarter-of-a-century daughter's buttocks peeking out from underneath her dress. The saving grace was that she had inadvertently shrunk the dress. She added a pain of skinny jeans and looked fabulous. Sigh of relief.

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Elizabeth 08/19/2008 07:52 AM 1 point
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I need to let go of thinking that my life is comparable to other people's lives. I need to trust that the way I live and the way I love and the way I work is the way it should be done for me. I need to let go of comparing.

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http://www.brandimmersion.com

Elizabeth 08/19/2008 07:56 AM 1 point
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Oops - meant to reply to you and not write my own response. What's happening inside of you is natural. You are longing for something, someone. Live inside that longing. Know that as frustrating as this feels, the longing is actual sweet and special. I know. I lived inside of a deep longing for so many years. I'm with someone now and there are times when I remember back to what I was longing for. There are many times that I rethink how I would have iived my single days. There is no prince charming. There are many many excellent men. Enjoy men. Long for them but in the process don't measure each one to see if he is the one. Relax into your longing like it is a good deep stretch.

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http://www.brandimmersion.com

Elizabeth 08/19/2008 07:56 AM 1 point
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I need to let go of thinking that my life is comparable to other people’s lives. I need to trust that the way I live and the way I love and the way I work is the way it should be done for me. I need to let go of comparing.

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http://www.brandimmersion.com

Julia 08/19/2008 07:59 AM 1 point
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You have no idea how comforting and mind settling your words are. Thank you so very much, Elizabeth! You made me feel better and uncrazy.

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Andrea 08/19/2008 08:13 AM 1 point
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I try to keep remembering "progress not perfection" but it is difficult to let go of trying to be perfect. I need to let go of my job as editor of a small arts and literary journal. I love the mission, but all the time spent helping others with their creative pursuits, prevents me from working on my own.

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Jess 08/19/2008 08:19 AM 1 point
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This past weekend! Got in a fight with my boyfriend, unearthed stuff, cried, was insanely exhausted afterward, so I needed to take a night to myself last night.
I'm still feeling residue over it, but I'm not sure how to fully move past.

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Wazzy 08/19/2008 08:33 AM 1 point
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I need to let go of worrying what other people think. I need to let go of wanting other people to act a certain way. I need to let go of perfection. I need to let go of thinking that my actions can significantly hurt someone, when in truth I am a nice person and would never intentionally hurt someone. I need to let go of chronic niceness, and holding my tongue. I need to let go of pretending everything is okay even if its not. I need to let go of my emotions when I am having them, rather than holding on to them or holding them in.

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Lori_from_Texas 08/19/2008 08:40 AM 1 point
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My twin nemeses: perfectionism & control!

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