What advice would you give to yourself 10 years ago?
Daily | December 23rd, 2008
Hindsight wisdom, warnings or proclamations to your younger self…
Carrie says: Have a baby. There is no such thing as the right time. Ask for help. Say yes to travel, to music and parties.
Danielle says: You have all the time in the world. Go to New York. Walk away sooner. Your feelings are EVERYTHING. That mustard yellow leather jacket does nothing for you.
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December 23rd, 2008 at 2:09 am
Look closer at people, you know what is right for you, you just have to get some quiet time and listen to yourself, keep writing, do not be scared.
December 23rd, 2008 at 4:10 am
I was 32 then:
1) Actually, it's really not amusing to go out with a string of men who all have major issues. You are not Bridget Jones and your life is not an anecdote.
2) Go ahead and get your lips done; it's just not that big of a deal and you'll be so much happier with how you look. SCREW ANYONE ELSE'S OPINION. That goes double for decisions that are actually important.
3) Don't take that job. Going to a bigger company is not necessarily a step up. Conversely, you never know how things would have turned out, so you may as well stop beating yourself up over it.
4) Be present. Slow down. Stop thinking you have to get everything right in the next six months.
5) Therapy is probably a waste of time and money; life is going to teach you those lessons anyway.
6) Actually, you ARE a good person.
December 23rd, 2008 at 4:52 am
Stop listening to other people's opinions when you know they are wrong. It's okay to not know what you want to do with your life, take time out and you will find it. Treasure your relationships and not the ones that feel safe just because they are comfortable. Slow down and treasure every moment.
December 23rd, 2008 at 5:17 am
Dream more and worry less; Restlessness takes up too much energy; Find your own style quickly; be more aware of yourself and the moment; Laugh out loud!
December 23rd, 2008 at 6:41 am
You know more than you think you do. Listen to your gut. Treat your body better. Play soccer, screw what people say.
December 23rd, 2008 at 6:49 am
I would advise myself to make an appointment with my doctor sooner, rather than later.
December 23rd, 2008 at 6:52 am
Talk to your husband, but do not leave your home, your city, or your daughter behind. Keep writing and listen to your heart. Don't let anyone make you do things you do not want to do.
Seek medical advise and don't stop until you get the right answer. You will know the right
anwer when you hear it. Trust your intuition.
December 23rd, 2008 at 7:06 am
That little screen you've put up to protect yourself is about to turn into a giant stone wall with a moat and a broken draw-bridge.
December 23rd, 2008 at 7:32 am
Listen to mom. Focus on your second language more. Give the dorky ones a chance. It's ok to not have a boyfriend. Exercise. Treasure your education.
December 23rd, 2008 at 7:56 am
As I read through all of the entries, I see a common thread, trust your intuition and have more fun. As a life coach, I help women turn up the volume on their own inner wisdom, and a good access point is fun and play. Ten years ago, I was not having much fun, and my life was lived mainly to please others. Today, I am listening to that loud voice inside and nothing thrills me more than seeing the results of the coaching I am doing. My clients are living truer lives that thrill them. Everything else falls into place when you are living from that perspective.
December 23rd, 2008 at 8:37 am
Save your money and realize that everything is cyclical and be ready for the other piece — just in case
December 23rd, 2008 at 8:44 am
Take more chances…. Change your name now; don't wait seven more years. Study in London. Study. Travel. Volunteer. Be curious. Love without shame. Don't quit the gospel choir. Make love. Ask for help. See a therapist. Be honest with yourself. Save some money. Learn. Learn. Learn.
December 23rd, 2008 at 8:51 am
There are NO shortcuts in life. Do not expect anyone else to take care of you. Do not expect anyone else to help you. Do not expect anyone else to make your dreams come true. MAKE your dreams come true. Never give up your dreams. But do them yourself. Save money.
Marriage is a financially draining disaster. If you get married make absolutely, 100%, certain you are totally and completely in love with the guy and are willing to give up A LOT.
December 23rd, 2008 at 8:52 am
I'm with Carrie. I too would tell myself to have a baby. There is in fact no perfect time to have a baby other than when we choose to open ourselves to it. I think the perfect timing issue is why the human body requires nine months, give or take a little, for gestation.
December 23rd, 2008 at 8:55 am
Date as much as possible and don't be afraid to give yourself to your career.
December 23rd, 2008 at 9:07 am
Reign in the spending. Make love a priority. Continue to take advantage of every opportunity you have.
December 23rd, 2008 at 9:22 am
hmmm it's ok to take care of myself first. it's ok to leave, it's ok to stay, it's ok.. just do what feels right..for me.. stop caretaking!
December 23rd, 2008 at 9:23 am
Dump him. Go to L.A. Quit that job. Don't get tied down. Find a way to laugh more. Be creative in any way you can. And work your body! It's awesome. (p.s. lol about the yellow jacket!)
December 23rd, 2008 at 9:40 am
Stop judging yourself, and letting other judge you. Say no. Don't let guilt keep you in unhealthy places.
December 23rd, 2008 at 10:07 am
Don't listen to those people who say “where is your boyfriend” “Do you have a man?”
HAVE FUN! BE YOU! LIVE LIFE! WEAR BRIGHT COLORS! TRAVEL! LEARN EVERYTHING YOU CAN! BE FOCUSED! SPEAK YOUR MIND! STAND UP FOR A CAUSE! TEACH BY EXAMPLE! LEAD DON'T FOLLOW THE CROWD! PUT GOD & FAMILY FIRST! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! RUN FOR MISS FISK UNIVERSITY! SELL THAT CANDY, CHIPS, POP OUT OF YOUR DORM ROOM! ( LOL ) KEEP IN TOUCH W FRIENDS! HANG WITH ALL TYPES OF PEOPLE/SOCIALIZE IN ALL DIFFERENT CLIQUES! LEARN FROM THE PAST, LIVE IN THE MOMENT, LOOK TOWARD THE FUTURE!
December 23rd, 2008 at 10:08 am
I was 17 yrs old going to college: Fisk University!!!
December 23rd, 2008 at 10:20 am
Worry less; think 'what if' less and just 'do'.
December 23rd, 2008 at 10:41 am
Listen to your intuition – she is not lying to you. I dont care if you dont like what she has to say, she is trying to do what's best for you!!! At the age of 27, it would have saved me from being dumped two hours before my engagement party at the age of 30. If I would have listened to my inner voice of wisdom saying, you dont want this life and this guy, I would have been the one to leave on my own accord… and although it would still have been painful, it would have been more like a 2×4 than the Mac Truck. Today, I know, my intuition… well she is my BEST friend – B/F/F
December 23rd, 2008 at 12:10 pm
If he isn't pursuing you, he is not worth pursuing. End of story.
December 23rd, 2008 at 12:29 pm
what? you're not Bridget Jones? re: “Stop thinking you have to get everything right in the next six months.” — most excellent advice at any age (unless you're dying…)
December 23rd, 2008 at 12:31 pm
…and I spent a fortune on it. I also had some yellow leather studded boots…bad…very bad.
December 23rd, 2008 at 12:34 pm
just declare yourself as Miss Fisk right now. or make your own new title 'n crown!
December 23rd, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Dr. Ngonzi Truth!!!
December 23rd, 2008 at 2:25 pm
You are a writer, so be a writer. Submit your work and get published. Be brave enough to be who you are and let your light shine. Do what you love and focus on what you love. And I agree with Danielle: your feelings are everything. Attend to them.
December 23rd, 2008 at 3:06 pm
(I was 18, just starting college). Spend more time with your Mom. (She died of breast cancer last year). Get into a sport or something that stretches your comfort zone. Make friends with all kinds of people. Burst your bubbles and make your life bigger. Write, write, write. It's in you. Don't worry about fitting in; you'll figure out soon enough that's a myth! Just enjoy life, be crazy like you really are, and you'll find the people you need to find.
Oh, and yeah, don't waste your time on those guys you meet in college. You already know who the love of your life is, so just give him a little time. He'll be there at the right time. (He was. We met when we were 14. Crush at first sight and it lasted!)
December 23rd, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Ditto! Either in or out!
December 23rd, 2008 at 3:18 pm
This question has been on my mind all day. Man alive, it would have been so much easier to tear down a screen than a wall. What was I thinking? I gained nothing from being so guarded. Sigh.
December 23rd, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Don't marry him. Laugh more. It's ok to make a lot of money. It's ok to be a bitch.
December 23rd, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Be more adventurous, go meet new people and travel around. Stop comparing yourself to others. Ask more questions. Keep wonder and joy in yourself.
Although conversely, I think myself 10 years ago has a lot to teach the 'me' of today…
December 23rd, 2008 at 8:25 pm
Don't let your fears guide your path. You are much smarter, much more creative, and much more resourceful than you think. Get therapy now and free yourself of some of that crazy baggage. One more thing, when your college boyfriend proposes, say “No!”
December 23rd, 2008 at 9:16 pm
You are beautiful, smart, and loved. Perfect just the way you are- Love yourself
December 24th, 2008 at 10:55 am
I would tell 18-year old me…
- that wonderful, beautiful first love you are going through is real and should not be minimalized because you think you're too young and the big love you are now realizing you have the capacity to give and let yourself receive should be your standard, not an exception.
- Time runs out. Don't let moments be squandered because you're too afraid to grab them. Grab life now and jump in!
- You ARE just as talented and smart and beautiful as the girls you think you're not good enough to be
December 26th, 2008 at 9:15 am
That turning the other cheek when someone does you wrong doesn't involve staying for them to do it to you again. Move on. Stay true to your own style but keep up with the times – music to fashion. Always dress for the job you want in the office and don't stray from your goals just because they are more extraordinary than your counterparts.
And get rid of the over sized house or at the very least 70% of the stuff in it. You CAN live without out it and after a month or two you will forget you ever had it or thought you needed it.
January 1st, 2009 at 9:57 am
You are wonderful just as you are. Experiences are much more valuable than “things”.