Comments on: Waiting for the Ring: Romantic or Anti-Feminist? http://carrieanddanielle.com/waiting-for-the-ring-romantic-or-anti-feminist/ Simplify, Beautify and Prosper in all areas of your life. Mon, 17 Oct 2011 14:45:14 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 hourly 1 By: Trevor http://carrieanddanielle.com/waiting-for-the-ring-romantic-or-anti-feminist/comment-page-1/#comment-866487 Trevor Sun, 10 Jul 2011 04:12:56 +0000 http://carrieanddanielle.com/?p=7833#comment-866487 So, if I marry a feminist I don't have to buy a ring or ever wear one? I can let women think I'm single anytime I want? Cool. If she has a baby, she'll go right back to work and not expect me to carry the whole load while she stays home for weeks with the kid. I'm cool with cooking and cleaning since she will also take out the trash, kill spiders, bring in firewood, and cut the grass and blow leaves out of the gutters? And I don't have to do the whole chivalry crap? Where do I sign up? So, if I marry a feminist I don’t have to buy a ring or ever wear one? I can let women think I’m single anytime I want? Cool. If she has a baby, she’ll go right back to work and not expect me to carry the whole load while she stays home for weeks with the kid. I’m cool with cooking and cleaning since she will also take out the trash, kill spiders, bring in firewood, and cut the grass and blow leaves out of the gutters? And I don’t have to do the whole chivalry crap? Where do I sign up?

]]> By: Jessica http://carrieanddanielle.com/waiting-for-the-ring-romantic-or-anti-feminist/comment-page-1/#comment-544251 Jessica Sat, 09 Apr 2011 04:18:48 +0000 http://carrieanddanielle.com/?p=7833#comment-544251 I agree completely with the points Eric made! That having been said, I am a feminist and my fiance considers himself "pro-feminist." We decided that we wanted to get married, and there was a lot of tension for a while about when it would happen, how it would happen, whether or not he was making the effort to procure an engagement ring etc. It should also be noted that we're both graduate students (aka, poor), which also complicated matters. One day it hit me... Why did I need a ring in order for us to get married? Additionally, I don't really wear that much jewelry and didn't really care too much about the ring per se, but rather about our future union. I expressed this to him, and he said that he agreed with me, but still felt uncomfortable not giving me something (probably a result of societal pressures). It was then that we decided that we would give each other "engagement presents" instead of him giving me a ring. We each picked gifts that would aid our participation in our favorite hobbies. So, to make a long story short, he proposed with a Cannondale Synapse (road bike, carbon I might add!!), and I said "yes" by giving him a Shimano Cumulus/Core (rod/reel combo for bass fishing). Our wedding is in June, and often when I tell people this they glance repeatedly at my left hand, looking completely puzzled. Some people have outwardly criticized our breaking of tradition. We don't care, we're happy to have chosen a path toward marriage that fits our relationship-we love our gifts and are looking forward to the wedding! I agree completely with the points Eric made! That having been said, I am a feminist and my fiance considers himself “pro-feminist.” We decided that we wanted to get married, and there was a lot of tension for a while about when it would happen, how it would happen, whether or not he was making the effort to procure an engagement ring etc. It should also be noted that we’re both graduate students (aka, poor), which also complicated matters. One day it hit me… Why did I need a ring in order for us to get married? Additionally, I don’t really wear that much jewelry and didn’t really care too much about the ring per se, but rather about our future union. I expressed this to him, and he said that he agreed with me, but still felt uncomfortable not giving me something (probably a result of societal pressures). It was then that we decided that we would give each other “engagement presents” instead of him giving me a ring. We each picked gifts that would aid our participation in our favorite hobbies. So, to make a long story short, he proposed with a Cannondale Synapse (road bike, carbon I might add!!), and I said “yes” by giving him a Shimano Cumulus/Core (rod/reel combo for bass fishing). Our wedding is in June, and often when I tell people this they glance repeatedly at my left hand, looking completely puzzled. Some people have outwardly criticized our breaking of tradition. We don’t care, we’re happy to have chosen a path toward marriage that fits our relationship-we love our gifts and are looking forward to the wedding!

]]> By: Eric http://carrieanddanielle.com/waiting-for-the-ring-romantic-or-anti-feminist/comment-page-1/#comment-315801 Eric Tue, 04 Jan 2011 20:21:29 +0000 http://carrieanddanielle.com/?p=7833#comment-315801 Rings are symbols of ownership, which most people recognize as "s/he belongs to. . ." Feminism rejects the concept of women being owned by men, but also ostensibly rejects the concept of men being owned by women. Which is why I want to marry a feminist. She should understand this concept and not expect me to wear a wedding ring (which I absolutely will never do - or even get a finger tattoo) or purchase one for her. She is, of course, free to wear whatever jewelry she wants but a wedding ring won't come from me. The whole man getting down on one knee is also a vestige of the days before women were considered equal. She can get down on one knee and ask me just as easily as I can get down on one knee and ask her. But, either person getting down on their knees is begging the other, as if they are inferior. What equal partners would do is actually have a conversation like adults and agree to get married. Neither should be forced to beg the other. Rings are symbols of ownership, which most people recognize as “s/he belongs to. . .” Feminism rejects the concept of women being owned by men, but also ostensibly rejects the concept of men being owned by women. Which is why I want to marry a feminist. She should understand this concept and not expect me to wear a wedding ring (which I absolutely will never do – or even get a finger tattoo) or purchase one for her. She is, of course, free to wear whatever jewelry she wants but a wedding ring won’t come from me.

The whole man getting down on one knee is also a vestige of the days before women were considered equal. She can get down on one knee and ask me just as easily as I can get down on one knee and ask her. But, either person getting down on their knees is begging the other, as if they are inferior. What equal partners would do is actually have a conversation like adults and agree to get married. Neither should be forced to beg the other.

]]>