Trick Yourself Into Getting Fit
On my to do list is to find joyful exercise. To sweat with dignity. To tone and firm and be ludicrously fit.
My progress report: ….is in progress.
I can talk myself out of virtually anything. Including exercising. It’s not for lack of trying. It’s just…I haven’t found My Perfect Exercise yet. My husband is an avid squash player and gets regular workouts without thinking of them as workouts. He’s got: a game he loves, a skill he’s perfecting, and a night out with his friends all in one. I want that.
My quest for The Perfect Exercise goes way back to the days of The Twenty Minute Workout - remember that? Bess Motta, lip gloss and absurdly large hair? That worked for a while until I felt like I was training to be an extra in a porn flick. Once I had that image in my mind, there was no way I was going to do “…just three more…(breathe)…and two more…(pout seductively)…aaaaand one more…”. I just couldn’t do it and not laugh. Mind you, laughing one’s ass off would be My Perfect Workout if I could actually laugh my ass off.
The next thing I tried was skiing. I approached the slope with nothing less than abject terror. It didn’t get any better. So I ditched the skis and took the poles and tried to get into Nordic Walking. I was overcome with self-consciousness because one too many people commented on the fact that the slopes were “over there”. Ha. Next stop: The New York City Ballet workout. I was psyched. It was classical, it was beautiful, they were fabulous…and then the narrator began talking. “The worh-mup…” The deep baritone of Peter Martin’s Danish-accented English made me snort too much to get much of a workout. And it was really hard. There was that…
I did Turbo Jam for quite some time, then Rhimba. Both of those are fun, but seem to incite an audience. I’m not okay with an audience while I try to round-house-kick the mantel. I’m not, what you might call a natural athlete. And I am most definitely not a dancer.
The sports in which I did okay were: horseback riding and archery, which, if I lived in a different century would be fine and dandy. And much as I’d love to ride horses every other day, it’s just not going to happen with my city life.
I needed a plan. So at the risk of turning into mush and not doing ANYTHING physical, I decided to trick myself into exercising.
How I Trick Myself Into Exercising
- I walk everywhere I can. Unless I don’t feel like it. Or it’s raining.
- I take the stairs. Mostly.
- I stand on the train. This isn’t necessarily by choice, but when I’m standing I can clench and unclench various parts of my anatomy. (Granted, I may make unusual faces while doing this, but it often gets me a seat because people move away…)
- I do laundry. And yes, I do consider this cardio (up and down the stairs) and strength training (do you know how much laundry a family of five – some of whom are not yet toilet trained – generates? That’s resistance, baby!)
- I pretend. A lot.
But I’m fantastically open to suggestions. What can I do in heels? (And no suggestions for Stripaerobics, thank you – it just takes me back to Bess!)
What do you do?
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August 6th, 2008 at 9:21 pm
The best thing I did for myself was to join a walking group. Having several previous sports injuries I knew running was not my thing, not to mention what certain parts of ones body does as it ages – there are not enough bathrooms out there when running about!! But by joining a walking group initially as support to a close friend, I met several other women from different walks of life who together met twice a week with loads of others and one a week to learn about the benefits of walking together. It may not seem like much but when you begin putting in 5 Km, then 7km and later 10 km (the Sun Run distance) before you know it, you are training to do 1/2 Marathons! What I gained with this amazing group of women was encouragement, support during tough times in my life, a goal that was attainable and a drive to keep at it. This was my time away from work, family and all those other stressors in life. Initially it was very hard to commit the time but soon came a time I looked forward to because it was MY time and I was getting really tight buns in the process. To be referred to as an athlete having achieved 2 1/2 marathons the year I turned 50 was great! And it was easy!
August 7th, 2008 at 6:28 am
Hooping! (aka ‘hoopdance’) Not only is it a great cardio workout, it also tones your core and perhaps most importantly – makes you smile. Smiling while exercising was a rarity for me before I started.
August 7th, 2008 at 6:33 am
I recently started doing yoga. I tried a few years ago and realized that I really sucked at it. Then, I decided to try again. Once I stopped trying to force my body into the disturbing contortions achieved by the instructor, I started to like it. I let my body tell me when I was far enough into the pose and allowed myself to let that be enough. And, it seems now that every day I do it, my body is naturally moving further into the poses. It feels GOOD!
August 7th, 2008 at 8:08 am
Ah, first impressions. When you said you “did laundry” for exercise, I started thinking of you with a wash basin aerobically scrubbing those clothes and ending up with an upper body like The Rock. I’m not sure walking downstairs to push the button qualifies.
Solution: get a large kite and tie the clean, wet laundry to it. Fly the kit and dry the laundry (very environmentally friendly). As any small child will confirm, kite flying requires a lot of uphill running to keep it aloft. Unlike the Nordic walking, any stupid comments can be dealt with by using a low pass to whack them with the wet laundry. Alternatively, you could stalk them while flying laundry that clashes with what they are wearing and permanently ruin their Feng Shui.
August 7th, 2008 at 9:22 am
Inspiring!
August 7th, 2008 at 9:22 am
I MUST check this out. It sounds zany. And zany is good!
August 7th, 2008 at 9:23 am
Love it. CS – you’re my kind of thinker!
August 7th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Bike to and from yoga.
Yoga is my exercise… I’ve found it! I love every different style. Some – like Power, Flow or Ashtanga – will leave you dripping with sweat, muscles shaking. Others are much more spiritual.
I get my warm up, pumping my legs on a 5-speed to the studio. On the way back I smile at all the other passing cyclists and celebrate the gorgeous neighbourhood of East Vancouver!
August 7th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
You are ALL so wonderful to help me with this. I think I’m going to have to find myself a yoga class. Even though I can’t do it in heels, at least I don’t have to do it in running shoes. I look like a muppet in running shoes.
August 7th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
If you’re in Vancouver. Open Door Studios is wonderful. 3 locations and a really great intro deal. No, I don’t work for them I’m just a big fan.
May 19th, 2009 at 1:20 am
Your thoughts were the same as mine. I walk most of the time. And I do household or any chores that I know are muscle “stretcher”. There's no need to go the gym-that's a waste of money. The money save I'd rather spend kiteboarding which is another love of mine!