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“My girlfriend asked me, ‘Did you sleep well?” and I said, ‘No, I made a few mistakes.”
- Steven Wright

I live in envy of cats because they get, like, 23 hours sleep a day. Mind  you, they accomplish very little, but still….

My hope is that this article will put you into a lucid trance…..but if it helps you get some sleep, all the better.

There is an atrocious lack of sleep in our society! I am outraged. So outraged, I may have to take a nap. Parents of the world – unite! Med students in residence, stand firm (with a pillow). People with four jobs, sit down (I’d never ask you to stand.)

This has got to stop! The causes of sleep-deprivation are well known, and pointless to list here. Rather, these are my tips for getting some decent shut-eye:

• Any textbook you had in high school or college (I have some notes on back-up computer architecture I’m happy to lend out…)
• Any high-brow novel you think you ‘ought’ to read but don’t really want to. (Got some of those too.)
• Ear plugs (the squishy kind – keep away from curious two-year-olds – they’re not edible, it turns out)
• A villa in Tuscany far from the madding crowd

There are other options, of course: some natural some, not so natural. I have tried both routes, and I have to slag the unnatural way because I might as well be in a coma, which in itself isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it’s the next-day hangover that irks me.  The Zop or “Blue Magic” as I call them, are so intense that I could probably sell them on the street. Or in Mommy Groups…

At the very least, one good suggestion I’ve heard is staying away from electronic screens before bed. That rules out reading this post (SO SCRATCH THAT!) or watching TV.  And having a TV in your bedroom is spectacularly bad Feng Shui anyway. If your computer is in your bedroom too, then you’re doomed.

Feng the Shui out of your home and you’re bound to find bliss – or perhaps some decent shut-eye.

One of my goals this year is to sleep more – to get to bed by 10pm (which never happens). It seems truly odd to have “do less” as a goal, but by doing less, I actually accomplish more. Unlike cats.

Nighty night, everyone….

-Karryn, Classic Lustre

P.S. I am not advocating any herbal or narcotic remedy. A polo mallet and a bottle of Tequila, on the other hand, is always an effective combination.