The average newlywed doesn’t have a lot of money, but this doesn’t stop them from renting or buying expensive homes or using credit to furnish this beautiful space. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve run into new couples who spend money and use credit cards like it’s their last day on earth. I don’t meddle in other people’s affairs, however, I would love the opportunity to sit these people down (the same way someone sat me down) and offer a little friendly money advice.

If it wasn’t for the advice someone gave me long ago…who knows what my situation would be. Don’t get me wrong. When I first got married I wanted it all – the new house, new car, nice furniture, etc. I had recently paid off my credit cards and my credit score was looking good. I could have easily gone out and purchased anything I wanted….but I didn’t. I had already been down the “too much debt” road. And after successfully digging myself out of a hole, I vowed never to go backwards.

But unfortunately, some young and newly married couples don’t have parents or friends to offer good advice on money or credit. They have to learn the ropes through trial and error, which can lead to mistakes that take years to fix.

Keeping Secrets

I’m amazed by the percentage of couples who don’t discuss their finances or credit before walking down the aisle. I once knew someone who disclosed their $20,000 credit card debt to their new spouse during their honeymoon – talk about bad timing. I’m not saying couples should put off marriage until their credit or finances are perfect, but they should discuss the problem before making a commitment – brainstorm ways to fix the situation, and decide whether this is something they’re ready to deal with. Once you say “I do,” your spouse’s debt becomes your debt.

Starting the Marriage in Debt

I chose to eliminate my credit card debt before I walked down the aisle for personal reasons. My husband had started a new business venture, and I had just graduated from college. I thought it was wise to pay off as much debt as possible and keep our expenses low.

With that said, I never understood the point of spending tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding. Seriously, what kind of wedding costs $50,000? What do you do, spend $5,000 on a cake and invite 500 guests? If you have the means to have an extravagant wedding, by all means, throw the party of the year. But if having the biggest and best wedding involves mortgaging your house, taking out personal loans, or using credit cards, is it really worth it? It’ll take you five to ten years to pay off the bill, and there’s no guarantee the marriage will last that long!

Wanting What Your Parents Have

It likely took your parents several years to acquire the things they have. Ask them how it was in the beginning, and they’ll probably talk about their early money struggles. Too often, newlyweds immediately want their parent’s life. But this takes time. Don’t expect to have the big house, nice cars and elegant furniture in the first few years. This can lead to unnecessary debt; and if you’re unable to pay this debt…it can put a strain on your marriage.

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