The Writing’s on the Wall: How you can help your child create a room of belief
“My daughter wants to paint her room pink, but my husband won’t let her because we won’t be able to sell the house.”
When presented with this challenge, Kelee Katillac, “reformed interior designer” and author of House of Belief: Creating Your Personal Style and Kids’ Sacred Places: Rooms for Believing and Belonging, simply responded: “Pink walls are a lot easier to take than pink hair.”
Kelee’s philosophy is equally as simple. She believes that giving children the freedom to express themselves and create their own personal sanctuaries helps them understand the value of life. Life and creativity come from what’s inside. And like life, self-expression will find a way—whether it’s in pink hair, graffiti, the ink of a tattooed arm or in a room of belief.
“Pains, joys, dreams, ambitions…these rooms are a little stage on which children dress rehearse for who they want to be; a place that mirrors back to reinforce themselves,” says Kelee.
My 13-year-old son is setting the stage for his own room of belief. He lost his biological father when he was just 20 months old. Therefore, his memories are disjointed; only made real from a collection of stories and photos. He decided to decoupage photos of his father and other family members to spice up a “plain and boring” dresser. To reflect his love of cartooning, reading and lacrosse, some comic strip wallpaper, a lamp made out of books, and a collection of lacrosse sticks became part of the vision – his vision.
He asked, “Can I paint the walls blue and the door black?”
“Sure,” I said.
I could see his eyes light up a bit as he tested the waters.
“And, I want to hang pictures of the Jet magazine beauties of the week….”
(Whoa. Warning: some negotiation required. We haven’t figured out the girl vision just yet, but I’m sure we can come up with an alternate collage.)
5 ways to help your child create their own room of belief:
- Ask a little. Listen a lot. Kelee Katillac suggests asking questions to determine what is sacred to your child. Use the answers to questions like “What makes you feel safe?” to come up with representative symbols.
- Create a “book of belief;” a source book of your child’s beliefs, values, dreams, and memories.
- Search do-it-yourself books and websites for creative ideas. Take the opportunity to shop yard sales, get paint chip samples, and frequent home improvement stores.
- Get involved, but don’t take over. Hands-on quality time doesn’t get any better than this.
- Relax. The process is more important than the outcome. Rest assured. When that time comes, you will be able to sell the house.
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Photo courtesy of Kelee Katillac
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