Is he having an affair?
Is she really working extra hours at the office?
How can I tell if he actually likes my meat sauce or not?

The first thing you have to know is that it’s normal to have suspicions about a partner. After all, you’ve agreed to be in an exclusive relationship with that person, and you’re sharing your most intimate thoughts and feelings. How could someone not wonder whether or not that same level of emotional commitment is being reciprocated?

Keep in mind, though, that suspicions are normal so long as they’re in moderation. You can’t allow for questions like these to take over your life–because they can and they will. The mind is an amazing machine. One second, you’re wondering whether or not your wife is working late, and the next, you’re having her paged at work to see if she’s clocked out yet. Make sure to keep your suspicions in check or you’ll end up checking out the personals.

You Still Have Questions

So why keep them bottled up inside of you? This is, as we mentioned before, a person with whom you share very intimate details of your life. Maybe you even share a bed and live with this person. Before you ask him or her whatever it is that’s on your mind, you have to ask yourself what’s making you so uncomfortable that you can’t just approach this person. If it’s nothing, then just go up and ask because really, the only person you’re hurting by not asking is yourself. If there’s another reason why you can’t ask, the problem may not be the question as much as it could be the relationship.

Look at Your Relationship

Do you have a fear that this person might lie to you or that maybe your suspicions are true? Maybe you’re afraid of the reaction to your suspicion. Regardless, if you look at all three of these reasons, they’re big enough for you to question your relationship. You shouldn’t be with someone who’d lie to you, do suspicious things behind your back, or react in such a way as to make you feel uncomfortable. If that’s what you’re dealing with, you need to look beyond the questions you have.

Relationships are tricky things to balance – but the key to maintaining them is to always keep the lines of communication open and to remember that if you’re expected to always be honest with your partner, he or she should always be honest with you, too.