I don’t believe in platonic friendships between men and women. Boys and girls, yes, but men and women, definitely not. I have yet to find a male friend who either wasn’t attracted to me or that I wasn’t attracted to. I do believe men and women can keep a relationship platonic — in that they don’t act on their attractions, but I haven’t experienced the truest sense of a platonic relationship (meaning neither party is attracted to the other) since the age of 12, and would be highly surprised if I ever do again.

There are some platonic friendships in my past, however, that I sometimes wonder about — and almost wished I had reconsidered.

To Him, I Was The One Who Got Away

I’m at the age where many of my friends are getting hitched. Some of these friends are men I’ve known for years and like I said, one or both of us had a jonesing for the other at some point.

Recently, I had to end one of these friendships, as he is now unhappily married and kept texting me periodically after 2am to tell me how I was “on his mind”. I found this utterly inappropriate and seeing as how I abide by the code, I refused to be part of his late night extramarital sex-texts (who does that, anyway??) Prior to ending this friendship, he even had the audacity to tell me he thinks he made a mistake with her, wishes he could come back for me, and that I was “the one who got away”.

Well, I never liked him in that manner, so whatever. But his statements did get me to thinking about the ones who got away from me. Allow to me to rant and ramble as I reflect on what could have been for a moment.

The Ones Who Got Away From Me

There was Ryan, a football-playing 11th grader who has a crush on lil ol’ 9th grade me. He was a great friend, uber-nice, but he was kind of fat and hung out with some guys who were undercover trouble makers. He was incredibly sweet and respectful and I could never figure out for the life of me why he hung out with them.

Ryan went to college, joined a frat, lost the baby fat, and became pretty friggin’ good-looking. He dumped his trouble-making friends and ended up getting his masters in some high-paying field. He invited me to a holiday party he threw a few years ago where I tried dancing with him a few times but he kept moving away and dancing with some other girl. It turns out she was his new girlfriend (unbeknownst to me) and they are now newlyweds who are expecting.

Damn…

Then there’s Chris. Chris was one grade behind me and was the quintessential dork. His claim to fame was his gorgeous eyes, but other than that, Chris was a really corny guy. He would drive across town to my Burger King gig just to make small talk through the drive-thru window. He’d snort like Steve Urkel every time he’d laugh and literally wore a pocket protector. He was younger than me, and in my semi-popular high school glory, he would have ruined my rep. And of course, that was not about to happen.

Fast forward eight years: Chris is HOT! Good grief. I feel like I’m on one of Maury Povich’s “Look at Me Now!” episodes every time I see him. Alas, he, too, has gotten married…and has kids…and has gotten rid of the pocket protector…and is unavailable.

Sigh. Why does everybody become desirable after it’s too late?

Why We Let Them Get Away

Could it be that we all naturally want what we can’t have, yet when it’s within our grasp, it’s so easy to attain that we take it for granted? Now, I’m not saying that I would have been interested in either of the guys had they not been interested in me—that would be far from that truth. But if I knew then what I know now, I certainly might have reconsidered.

I believe this is something worth considering when it comes to relationships, but also life in general. Maybe there’s a career path you didn’t pursue. A once in a lifetime opportunity to travel the world. A creative endeavor you’ve wanted to try your entire life, but keep putting off.

Knowing what you know now, what’s your “one that got away”?

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