The Less You Get The More You Appreciate Christmas
I read today that Oscar-winning actress Reese Witherspoon apparently only buys her children “one or two” presents at Christmas.
The source of this information referred to Witherspoon as “stingy”, but I’m totally with her. I remember telling a friend of mine that I wasn’t buying anything for my son, Harry, for Christmas. Harry didn’t know what Christmas was, didn’t need anything and I knew that friends and family would be going present-mad. “But what about his little face on Christmas morning when he realizes he hasn’t got anything?” my friend asked. He was six months old at the time!
“I try and stay away from the gluttony of things,” Witherspoon says. “They don’t appreciate it as much. When they only get one or two things, they really like it.”
Present Frenzy!
From my own childhood Christmases, to those spent with young cousins, nephews and now my son, I know beyond a doubt that the more you get the less you appreciate it. I remember being horrified a couple of years ago as wrapping paper flew around the heads of red-faced children who, after each gift was opened, simply shouted “Next!”
And I still feel guilty thinking about the time I opened all my presents before shouting, “I said I wanted a tape recorder!” They urge to take away the stuff they had bought me must have been overwhelming.
Oh and then there was the time my youngest nephew asked me, “Why do you always buy us books? Why don’t you get us something good?” This year he asked for cash. He’s seven.
Want Versus Need
Of course children will generally ask for as much as they think they can get away with. And then some more. If Harry watches a children’s channel with advertisements he says, “We should buy that!” about pretty much every product featured. But I know that he doesn’t actually want any of it and he certainly doesn’t need any of it – he still has toys from the past two years that he hasn’t yet played with.
This year, I suggested to family that, rather than buying Harry stuff he doesn’t need, they make a donation to charity. I didn’t see the point, I said, of buying him something simply for the sake of buying him something. They nodded. Said they totally agreed. And then bought him presents anyway.
But what’s the betting that they’ve made a charity donation instead of a present for me and my husband?
Photo by: urbanshoregirl’s
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December 14th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
How could that possibly be considered stingy?! That's the amount any normal parent would buy for their children, surely…
December 15th, 2008 at 5:13 am
Last year, we bought my son too many things. We said 'no more!' 10 times before we stopped. Everytime we bought something else, we'd think 'he never asks for anything' and use that as our justification for buying too many things. Then, our in-laws came over. They're not very Christmas-orientated and we knew they'd only have one present each. So, in order to balance things better we took half of our son's presents away for him to open another time. After Christmas, we realised he couldn't care lesss that he didn't open 10 more presents. So we gave them away instead. This year, each child has three presents – one from each parent and one from each brother.
December 15th, 2008 at 5:35 am
Alison, I doubt that “any normal parent” only buys one or two gifts, unless each gift costs several hundred dollars. All the parents that I have known buy 10+ gifts for each kid, albeit probably $10-30 each. But I agree that can promote the “frenzy” situation that leads to a lack of appreciation.
I'll never forget the day I worked in returns at my retail job after Christmas. One father came through the line saying, cheerfully, that he had “over-bought.” He returned literally BAGS AND BAGS full of Matchbox cars, action figures, an electric blanket…I know Christmas shopping gets a little crazy sometimes, but how do you end up over-buying by hundreds of dollars? It was kind of terrifying.
December 15th, 2008 at 6:46 am
I also know people who will overspend on one child and then feel they need to “even up” with the other child and so the total cost (and amount of gifts) gets higher and higher. It's crazy.
December 15th, 2008 at 8:17 am
We usually buy one “big thing” (ie. costing about $20-40!) from Santa, one big thing from us and then a stocking full of little bits and pieces (dvds from the bargain bucket, socks, a selection box etc). I don't expect to spend more than $100 on each child. There is no way I would spend hundreds, there's no point. If they want big-ticket items when they get older they can save up themselves or get a job
December 15th, 2008 at 8:25 am
Funny, sort-of-related story: my wife was at the hair salon last week and two of the other customers were discussing in great detail exactly how many dozens and dozens of expensive gifts they'd bought for their very young children. My wife asked them if they'd noticed that there was a global economic meltdown happening. Their response? “Canada won't be affected, because we have the winter Olympics in 2010.”
I think my point is that rampant consumerism seems so totally inappropriate, this Christmas in particular. Buying dozens of gifts isn't just unhealthy for your children, it's also a sign that you are utterly insular and oblivious to the wider world.
December 15th, 2008 at 8:30 am
“Everytime we bought something else, we'd think 'he never asks for anything' and use that as our justification for buying too many things.”
This is the justification my parents use as well. I never ask for anything and never did when I was younger because I was just an independent-minded sort of kid and really, I didn't want for anything growing up. Now I'm 23 and the whole “mountain of presents” thing is getting a little tiring…I mean, I adore my parents and they're the most generous people on the planet, but nobody needs to spend thousands of dollars on gifts.
December 15th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Keris….AMEN!!! A couple of years ago…I was in a restaurant and a father was having a birthday lunch with his little boy. The father took out a gift and the kid was ecstatic! His attention was wrapped up in that one toy. Then came gift number two. ELATION!!! Then number three, and four…etc. The little boy went from focused joy and appreciation with one & two….to greedy curiosity afterward. Just unwrapping and asking, “what next?” It was a wonderful learning lesson for me and one I'll never forget. Thanks for posting this!
February 27th, 2009 at 8:21 am
This is so true … I have 4 nieces and nephews and they were given so many gifts, mostly clothes, toys, plush animals, etc. which I thought was appropriate growing up, and now that they are older are asking for the most expensive items – every time a new ipod comes out with larger storage capacity, it's on their list. I totally get what you mean about opening gifts, not fully appreciating what it was that they just opened, and uttering “next!”
What it comes down to is parents not communicating effectively the meaning of gratitude. Sure enough there is peer pressure but having the core values at home would carry through for the rest of their lives.
Does anyone beg to differ?
May 24th, 2009 at 3:16 am
It's so nice to just have one child, I don't need to worry about the other one being jealous of the other.
May 24th, 2009 at 3:17 am
It's so nice to just have one child, I don't need to worry about the other one being jealous of the other.