She’s 38, full-figured, experienced, and a bit tired. He’s 16 with a skinny, taut body, brimming with raw energy and eager to learn. She invites him in for a drink, strokes his cheek, and her bathrobe falls open…

Our avant-garde theatre recently hosted a “cougar movie” extravaganza. You know–movies where older women seduce young males (usually teenage virgins). It’s hot, it’s sexy, and apparently it’s acceptable–that is, as long as it’s an older woman and a younger man.

Top Cougar Movies

Chances are, you can easily come up with your own list of the top cougar movies of all time. But just to get you started, here are some samples:

The Graduate
“Starring an ingénue Dustin Hoffman who succumbs to the world-weary Mrs. Robinson’s seductive spell.” Down, Mrs. Robinson!

Class
Jacqueline Bissett utters one of the steamiest lines ever to her son’s classmate (Andrew McCarthy in his film debut) in an elevator: “Do you like it better going up or going down?”

The Last Picture Show
Cloris Leachman won an academy award for her powerful cougar portrayal in this film.

American Pie
Stifler’s Mom makes a man out of her son’s high-school friend in the pool room.

My Tutor
The boy looks like he’s 13, and he’s obviously scared, but after many attempts the woman finally gets what she came for.

Private Lessons
At least this boy has something of a man’s body and is old enough to be interested.

No Equal Opportunity for Men

What do Mrs. Robinson, Stifler’s mom, and all the other famous cougars have in common? They get away with it. We think he’s lucky and she’s either hot or pathetic, but I can’t think of any movie that implies immorality.

But what if we reversed the genders? What if Mr. Robinson had seduced Dustin’s teenage sister, or Stifler’s dad had boozed up one of the graduating girl virgins at the pool table? He wouldn’t be a glorified cougar–he’d be a pervert, a rapist, or at least a sicko.

What movie examples do we have here?

American Beauty
Kevin Spacey is applauded for coming to his senses just before deflowering his daughter’s friend.

Last Tango in Paris
Now, this is one of the hottest movies of all time, and what a great treat for Marlon Brando! But she’s definitely of age, so it’s just a question of taste, not morality.

Jack Nicholson also gets away with it in several roles, but even in Something’s Gotta Give, the final message is to get with someone his own age (Diane Keaton).

Maybe It’s Okay Onscreen…

To be honest, I’m not lobbying for change. I’m quite happy being allowed to fantasize about it being me whose 18-year-old babysitter decided to show him what to do on a date. And I’m just as happy to keep seeing a message that we creepy older men had better respect boundaries. But the double standard is still interesting to explore.

I’ll leave you with a song – my own rewrite of Garth Brooks’s fantastic ballad “That Summer.” Would it have been a #1 country hit with this gender reversal?

She came to work for me that summer; teenage girl so far from home.
I was a lonely widowed farmer, hell-bent to make it on my own.
We were a million miles from nowhere, wheat fields as far as we could see,
Each needing something from each other, not knowing yet what that might be.

Till I came to her one evening; hot cup of coffee and a smile
And in a robe that she was certain I hadn’t worn for quite a while.
There was a difference in my laughter, there was a softness in my eyes
And in the air there was a hunger even a girl could recognize.

I had a need to feel the thunder, chase the lightning from the skies
Watch the storm with all its wonder raging in my lover’s eyes.
I had to ride the heat of passion, like a comet burning bright
Rushing headlong in the wind, out where only dreams have been
Burning both ends of the night

That summer wind was all around us; nothing between us but the night
And when she told me that she’d never, I softly whispered “That’s all right.”
Then she watched my hands of leather turn to velvet in a touch
There’s never been another summer that she has ever learned so much.

[Photo by ||!prliignore20||]