Tattoos, For Real: 8 Things To Know About Getting Inked
Do NOT get a tattoo. Just don’t do it. Nine times out of ten it’s a regrettable act of stupidity. Resist the urge.
You’re still reading this?
STILL hankering for some ink?
Good. You passed the test.
If you insist (and you had better want a tattoo enough to INSIST on it, then proceed to #1.)
8 THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND WHEN GETTING A TATTOO
1. Tats are a big damn deal. They last longer the many marriages and all mortgages. Be thoughtful. Please, I’m saying this as a minister of inspiration and authenticity: get something that actually means something to you. Is Mickey Mouse on your ass or a unicorn on your ankle the best moniker your Higher Self? That tribal arm band…what tribe you from, sister? If you’re getting a tat to be cool, as a right of passage—okay—I get that. Just dig deeper than the flash art available in most tattoo parlors. Good rule of thumb: think about a specific tattoo design for one year. If you still LOVE it, go for it.
2. It’s bad luck to tattoo your boyfriend’s name on your ass. Yes, it is from experience that I speak. I thought Seattle Boy’s signature on my bootie would rock his world (never mind that he was legally blind and I would actually have to read my butt with his glasses on to get the uh, message. Love can be…stupid, like most tattoos.) Just as the tattooist is about to put the needle down he looks up at me and says, “You know, this is the kiss of death. Your relationship is like, so doomed.”
“Shut up and brand me,” I said with conviction. I had my bags packed about three months after that.
3. Tattooists are generally arrogant, intimidating, secretly-sensitive artists. I have seven tattoos (most of which I regret, a few of which I adore,) all from different artists. Most of them scared the shit out of me. Firstly, while it’s a life-changing event for you, it’s just another gig for them—they will put their 100% best into their art, but if you want a cake and candles for your big day, forget it. They’ve seen every stupid, masterpiece-worthy design that’s ever been inked. As my first tattoo artist quipped to me, “Quit yer grinnin’ and drop yer linen.” End of creative discussion.
4. Bearing in mind the aforementioned, stand your ground. Be particular. Risk being annoying. If you don’t feel “heard” by the artist, leave. It takes some moxy to walk out on a pierced punk with FTW on his neck—but you won’t regret it.
5. The best tattoo artists are worth the wait. Just like hairstylists and good lovers. And the best ones are good listeners.
6. Don’t get tattooed when you’re drunk. Not because it’s utterly dumb, but because alcohol thins your blood and you’ll bleed more.
7. Yes, it hurts. Imagine a scrapping a hot needle across your flesh, firmly and repeatedly. That’s about what it feels like. For pain management I use this technique: I clench wads of tissue in each hand (because my palms start to sweat), I chew a pack of Juicy Fruit gum and I say over and over to myself: This will be over and it will be so worth it.
8. Tattoos can be life affirming, flesh-honoring symbols that celebrate your truth and remind you of who you truly are. Go sacred or go home.
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October 16th, 2008 at 9:55 am
I must say that I have a much better love/hate ratio for my tats. Partly, I'm sure, because I have designed all of my own tattoos. I have tried to explain my ideas and get someone else to draw up the stencil but I then had to walk out and go back when I had done the drawings myself.
I am SOOOO with you on #8. One of the things that I've been noticing on my Style Statement journey is that I feel most like myself when I have my sleeves rolled up and people can see the tattoos that I have on my arms.
One of my favourite tattoos is my statement (in Elvish… hehe) of the things that I think are most important – Love, Art, Play, Faith, Family & Laughter.
Thanks for a great post.
Travis
October 16th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
ink on, brother!
October 17th, 2008 at 11:32 am
I have a feeling that you think “FTW” means fuck the world…If you are not aware, it means “for the win.”
October 17th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Tattoos hurt? I don't know who did yours, or if you have a non-existent pain threshold but I must say that tats are by far on the bottom of the totem poll for pain. For god's sake your body works autonomically to decrease the pain by shutting down nerve endings, if you need anymore help than that tattooing isn't for you.
October 17th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Quit trying to act cool. Everyone in the world thinks tattoos hurt.
October 17th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
Jesus. I just like my tattoos cos they look ace. I hate it when people get so fucking pretentiously serious about this shit.
October 17th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
There's also a religious aspect to it. Unless the rules have changed recently, you can't be buried in an Orthodox Jewish cemetary if you have a tattoo. (Dispensation was made for those who were tattooed by the Nazis in the second world war.) Yes, I know Orthodox Jews with tattoos. Yes, the rules may change by the time you die. But if being buried with your relatives is important and your religion has a no-tattoos policy, it's something to consider.
October 17th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
You also can't give blood.
October 18th, 2008 at 12:34 am
8. If you need a tattoo to remind yourself of who you are, then you are probably not much of a person. How about if you are not the person you want to remember when you tattooed yourself?
People I meet with a tattoo tend to be quite thick.
If you want to remember who you are, write a diary.
October 18th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
And guaranteed to make you look like a stupid slut forever and ever
October 18th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
As someone with many tattoos I'd just like to say.
Candis
Yes you CAN give blood I do quite often
Acsia
the difference between tattooed people and non-tattooed people is that tattoed people don't care if you don't have one.
Oh…and btw….I'm a well respected I.T. professional with a national Advertising agency.
Butthawg
Don't be an asshat.
I get tattoos for a variety of reasons…but that doesn't matter. They're mine and I don't care what anyone thinks.
I have one tattoo that I got while I was with an old g/f and she was getting inked…I heard the sound of the gun and needed a fix….I got a tattoo that I hate. I keep it as a lesson to think about every tattoo that I get.
Oh…and they all hurt. Of course they hurt.
October 18th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
Jesus, How could you possibly know that everyone thinks tattoos hurt? You must do a hell of a lot of traveling. I took a nap when I got my last one. And to Acsia, since your so quick to label people with ink as “quite thick”, I guess the two masters degrees hanging on my wall must not mean anything? Thanks for a great post. It's really good advice.
October 18th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
Please, NeXuS, be nice. Everyone I know who has a tattoo says that the process was painful. Danielle is just sharing as someone experienced in the matter, since a lot of people ask whether or not it will hurt when they get inked. At least this way, they won't get a mean shock if it does.
October 18th, 2008 at 7:29 pm
I don't know about Canada, but I do know that people with tattoos aren't eligible to give blood here in Australia. I suppose the law varies from place to place…
October 19th, 2008 at 5:26 am
awesome tips, everytime one of my friends show off their flash tat, or some depiction of <insert current fad here> I pull a facepalm, cry a little, and walk away. my artist currently has me waiting 3 months for my next session, worth the wait in my opinion
October 19th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
I think narrow mindedness makes you look like a stupid slut. I'm hardly uber inked and what I do have most people would consider a flash tat. (Treble Clef on my hip.) But I thought about it for 2 years and still wanted it, thats longer than most of my relationships. Just out of curiosity is it still a flash tat if you think that hard about it? Most people with tattoos sort of roll their eyes at it. any thoughts?
October 19th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
With all of the seriously heavy and serious discussion topics that this community has explored, I am surprised to see that the issue of tattoos is one that appears to have brought out the mean side in a couple of its members. I do not have any tattoos, but I don't negatively judge people who do. The theme running through Danielle's pointers is that one should be thoughtful, intentional and true to one's style when considering/getting a tattoo. She offers solid, valid, thought-provoking advice on the topic. Much more intellectually stimulating and non-judgmental than any simple assertions that anyone with a tattoo is “quite thick” or a “stupid slut” or should just “get a diary” instead.
October 22nd, 2008 at 6:25 am
I thought three years about the tat I was going to put on my back. It is my own design, but I was surprised that they artist was able to give me a life reading based on how it looked. I had it done fifteen years ago and have never regretted it. The only place it gave me any problems was in a common hot bath in Japan, where tats are frowned on because of their association with their Mafia. I covered it with a small towel and everything was fine. I had a black rose put on my upper shoulder when I was in Budapest. It reminds me of my time there during the cold war and how I always thought of the city as a black or darkened rose. I know some don't like tats, and that's fine, but judging someone for their ink is like judging them for their clothes or the color of their skin – it's just totally wrong headed.
October 22nd, 2008 at 11:33 am
damon rowanchilde. urban primitive in fergus, ontario. fantastic in all regards.
October 23rd, 2008 at 2:28 am
i think you missed the point, it's more like anchoring your esense. seconed, people with a tattoo are like any others….if you are sensetive and tuned you can get behing the (bad) image. personally i have one big tatto as a reminder for 'eternal growth and full blossom' i feel it's a fantastic way of unique self expression. i made it as a gift to myself after a few important acopmlishments!
October 26th, 2008 at 10:32 am
i have a lot of tattoos, and i agree with these points. i would say however on point 4 – stand your ground sure, but also listen to artists if they say something won't work as a tattoo. not every piece of art/painting/drawing/etc will work as ink on your skin. some of my best and favourite ink is the result of a collab between myself and the artist based on what i wanted and what would work best as a tattoo.
October 27th, 2008 at 7:52 am
yes – I agree about the collaborative approach – just have to find the right artist.
October 30th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
You just have to wait ONE year to donate again.
October 30th, 2008 at 5:29 pm
Amen!
November 4th, 2008 at 8:05 am
Someone who has two masters degrees doesn't typically use the incorrect form of “your.”
As a relevant addition to the conversation, I have a tattoo, I love it, and it hurt. It all depends on WHERE you get it. Mine is on my rib cage, and there is not a lot of fat or muscle tissue there which is what caused most of the pain.
November 4th, 2008 at 10:15 am
Tattoos don't hurt. they tickle
November 17th, 2008 at 10:37 am
Hang your home town in a pendant worn close to your heart. A totally unique and meaningful gift idea for someone special to you (and that can mean “yourself” too).
December 24th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
You had a homebirth, right? I have two tattoos- first one hurt like hell, second one I managed much better (had a better idea of what was coming!) I'm a doula now (wrote you an email- I'm Dani!) so I feel like my next tattoo will be managed pretty well with all of the pain management techniques I know. Sparrow on my foot. Wish me luck. ; )
January 16th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
That's what people used to say about women who wore lipstick or 'rouge' or a skirt that showed a flash of an ankle bone.
Why aren't there similar prejudices towards men?
January 27th, 2009 at 11:59 am
great article. Good prep. I go in this week!
January 31st, 2009 at 7:48 pm
LOL Great post. I've got 4, 2 of which I hope to get covered. A tip from me: don't get a tattoo just because you're a teenager and your parents say no. Seriously, have a better reason than that.
February 14th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
Amen! I have 4 tattoos, 3 of which I love, 1 of which I hate. Hate with a passion…I got it on a whim without any real thought and i despise it every time I look at it. I will get something beautiful when I have it covered, but until then, I hate it, hate it, hate it. In my next tattoo, it will be thought out, drawn out, and lived out…as in it will be me and it will be beautiful.
March 10th, 2009 at 6:46 am
If the place is recognized sometimes you don't even have to wait a year
April 20th, 2009 at 4:22 am
You forgot one: Tattoos won't make you unique and won't make up for the lack of your personality. I'm so tired of people who think they're so unique just because they've got a tattoo. NEWSFLASH: at least 50% of people you meet have tattoos.
May 23rd, 2009 at 9:31 am
Indeed awesome tips, I am a big fan of Carrie and Danielle for such things.
Rina
June 20th, 2009 at 5:41 am
A very topical issue – a lot of time reading about how bad it is, what can be adverse effects, but still – in spite of this, it is worth it. Everything is simple – this is fucking beautiful! )) Is the second month, think about – how to make yourself, I want the entire right arm, black and white, it is a pity that the finances are now straining (
June 25th, 2009 at 2:41 am
Remember that tattoos don't make you unique. If this is your only motivation for getting one you might want to reconsider. Everyone has tattoos these days.
June 25th, 2009 at 7:24 am
Amen on that. Go for the passion behind the symbol that you want to have inked on you, rather than get inked because you think that it'll make you unique. After all, all of us are already different from one another – hence the individuality.
June 27th, 2009 at 9:44 am
You know I always respected those who get these b/c of some major life change, such as my friend who served in the first Gulf War. He and his whole platoon got a tat together for solidarity. When a tat looks like something everybody else has, that's when i wonder why bother. You don't put a bumper sticker on a BMW, so why tattoo a beautiful body?
June 27th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
well written