The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.
Albert Einstein
I have a confession to make. I can’t stop reading self-help, personal development and spirituality books. What’s more, I just keep on reading, and rarely put into practice any of the helpful and well-thought-out activities that the (presumably) wise authors so generously put forth. In fact, I usually skip that part altogether, rushing through it all so that I can get my next hit: the next big answer, the “A-HA!” moment.
There. I’ve said it out loud. I am sitting in my local coffee shop exhaling a huge (and embarrassed) sigh of relief.
The things you do to calm your nerves and cool your jets. Today’s question comes from a bonafide Zen (and karate) mistress, Mary Jaksch. Who, when she’s not meditating or wielding her black belt, heads up GoodlifeZen.com and is Editor-in-Chief for WritetoDone.com. THAT’s life balance.
Carrie says: For moderate amount of stress I go for a run, talk to my sister and feel better. For Intense stress I hibernate and sleep. Most importantly I give myself permission to be alone, ache, and return.
Danielle says: I cope with stress in two ways, in equal parts, with equal intensity. Step 1: retreat. Step 2: dial soul sister. I’d be lost at sea, utterly adrift and nutso, without my precious, loving, all-seeing, hilarious girlfriends. And because I’m so sonically-wired, it actually helps me to hear myself talk sometimes. I also find 70s rock highly tranquilizing. Nothing like some Led Zeppelin to put things into perspective.
Mary says: When I’ve got too much on my plate and feel strung-out, I go to a yoga class. All my worries disappear for a while when I’m trying hold a difficult yoga pose.
Photo: The most recent stack of books found in Danielle’s shrink’s office. Good sign.
Has Your Shrink Got Style?
I’ve come to learn that the best way to choose a therapist who will masterfully guide you through the labyrinth of your inner world…is to judge them by their…appearance. Yep. Book by it’s cover, superficial signals, thin slices. Shoes, objects of art, sweatpants might tell you all you need to know about one of the most potentially positive or destructive relationships in your life.
A money manager, a master gardener, a style maven…a little outside know-how can create quantum leaps.
Carrie says: I’m a wanna be vegetarian that craves meat. I’d love advice on how to buy meat from a farmer, how to prepare and cook. Be a responsible meat eater!
Danielle says: I’d like a sage seer oracle on my speed dial. Someone who works on various dimensions to give me perspective on my offerings and longings and snafus. Oh wait…that would be me. Note to self: look within. Okay, I’d like someone to tell me what digital camera to buy (less than $1,000) and how to get warm shots without that tinny flash look.
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. “Pooh!” he whispered. “Yes, Piglet?” “Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw. “I just wanted to be sure of you.” – A.A. Milne
Carrie says: The Passionate Marriage, by David Schnarch. Both my husband and my favorite relationship book, (yes! he actually read it!) Whether you have a concern in your marriage or just want a tweak, read this book. The message is, instead of trying to get someone to love you, become someone capable of loving. Bottom line is: be yourself, trust yourself and then connect to someone. A process called Differentiation; learning to balance your individuality, authentic self with being a couple truly resonated.
Danielle says: The Missing Piece Meets The Big O, by children’s writer, Shel Silverstein. With a simple story and a few line drawings, Silverstein teaches that being complete unto yourself is the best way to find lasting love. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by John Gottman and Nan Silver is truly excellent. It doesn’t matter if you’re married - it’s a primer for healthy relating (it really deserves a better title.) I never thought I’d say this about a relationship book, but it’s so good because it’s based on data - thousands of hours in Gottman’s “love lab” analysing couples. “The Four Horseman of the Apolcalypse in Relationships” is a big eye opener. And guess what? Great relationships have very little to do with communication techniques - and everything to do with building a friendship.
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.
