In the past two years, I’ve been a full time working mother, a stay at home mother, and a work at home mother. As I’ve evolved and changed and lived these roles, I’ve learned a few things - the most important being that we moms are far too hard on one another. I’ve been criticized for working, criticized for staying at home, and criticized for both using and not using daycare.

I’ve endured the invisible stay at home mother syndrome, as well as the hostility from coworkers that only a new working mother can experience. We won’t even mention the guilt - that’s a post in and of itself. I spend my life in a constant struggle for balance that only a mother can understand. After living through the last few years, I have something to say.

Stop Being So Hard on Yourself

If you’ve been wondering how to juggle a family, a career, and maintain a perfect home, and are thinking it just may be impossible — you’re right. The perfection you’re seeing when you visit your acquaintances home? It’s a sham. Most of what you’re seeing is brought on by your own insecurities - that’s right, it’s in your imagination. They aren’t perfect, either. What a relief!

If you take the time to stop focusing on the imagined perfection, you’d see that they’re struggling just as much as you are. They’re working hard to keep up appearances, as well. Maybe it’s time to break down that imaginary barrier and share some of the issues that you’re working through as a mom — chances are, they’ll have a few of their own to share.

Read the rest of this entry »

Food is a multi-sensory art form; it’s about touch, scents, colors, texture, composition, and taste. Part of it’s magic is that you can put all your time, energy and love into your work of art and all you have to show for it at the end of an evening are memories (and dishes)! This makes cooking the ultimate metaphor for life. The treasures of the heart, like memories of long evenings around the table with loved ones, are the only ones we get to take with us when we leave this planet and our physical bodies.

Cooking is a transcendental art form, but also one connected to tribal issues - childhood, security, comfort, grounding and surviving. And it’s extremely intimate. The ones we share our art with will put it inside their bodies! Call me a nerd, but I find that a meal prepared with love is one of the most magical ways we give each other energy.

A Family Meal Prepared With Love

When I go back to Sweden to see my family, our together-time revolves around cooking. First, we spend the morning discussing what we’re going to cook. There is always the surprise element — one of us will have tasted something somewhere that simply needs to be shared; a brilliant way to roast vegetables in the oven, or a classic, Boef Bourguignon slightly improved (”that will bring tears to your eyes!”).

The morning session is followed by the shopping for all the right ingredients and the wine. That is, unless my father, the impeccable wine specialist, has already prepared these top notes of the dinner composition.

Read the rest of this entry »

Admit it, parents. With the onset of winter comes more time indoors, and with more time indoors comes the dreaded, “I’m bored. There’s nothing to do!”

One day it might be too cold to send the kids outside to play; the next day it’s warmer but not snowy enough to bundle them up for a massive snowball fight. Why not have a few ideas ready for the days the walls are closing in and you want to get out of the house? A parent with a plan is someone the rest of us admire. Here are a few suggestions to get you started.

Visit The Local Library

Libraries are a wonderful place to spend time with your kids. By allowing them to wander the isles of books looking for topics that interest them, you are stirring their imagination. Consider sitting at the library to read quietly for a while. When it’s time to leave, encourage your children to check out a few books, CDs, or videos. Not only does it give them something different to do once at home and teach them responsibility, it also serves as an excuse to return to the library soon.

Try The Recreation Center

Familiarize yourself with your local recreation or community center. These often have after-school programs in place; movie nights, art classes, and some even offer activities on days school is canceled due to inclement weather.

Read the rest of this entry »

If you work at home with small children, chances are that you know the value of time. In my world, I know that there’s never quite enough of it. Deadlines loom while snacks, diapers, and phone calls from my editor demand my attention - often at the same time.

A Day in the Life of a Stay-at-Home Parent

I work more than full time from home, with a 2 year old and an infant in tow. My husband works full time outside the home. Oh, and did I mention that we started homeschooling this year on the preschool level? (I know, I know, glutton for punishment and all that…)

At any given minute, my home, work, and personal life are in varying states of chaos. On a good day, we all have clean laundry, a balanced meal, and I get some work done. Bad days are more likely to find me rocking inside the closet humming the Dora the Explorer theme song, while a toddler with marker tattoos runs rampant just outside the door.

In reality, we manage pretty well. I tend to try really hard to get up before the girls do. If I manage it, the day goes much more smoothly. In fact, I really need to make this a priority. (mental note: do not to hit snooze button in the morning!). Once I’m up, I check email, start a load of laundry, pick up the house, and begin my day. Getting organized first thing in the morning really helps.

Read the rest of this entry »

I will never, ever forget the day when my oldest child was diagnosed with a rare degenerative eye disease. After a battery of tests, the doctor sat me down and announced that my two year old had retinitis pigmentosa, and that she would one day loose all of her vision.

Surviving the Difficult Diagnosis

I remember very little of the next few days other than snippets of me sitting in the bathroom (the only really private room in our small apartment), crying hysterically. I repeated that routine two years later when my next child was diagnosed with the same rare disorder. It just seemed so unfair; so unjust.

After I’d returned to the land of the living, I thought about many things. Most of all, I thought about what sorts of visual memories I wanted my children to have. I wanted them to have memories of beautiful sunsets and other wonderful things. I wanted them to see as much of the world as they possibly could before the inevitable happened. I began to try to find a way to make this all possible.

Thriving Despite the Difficulties

I decided to homeschool my children to maximize the amount of time we had to devote to traveling. I didn’t have to worry about them missing school, because we could homeschool on the road. I also made a conscious decision to be grateful for what we could afford to do, instead of focusing on the many things we couldn’t.

We made numerous trips to different places close to our house mostly because of financial reasons. Then, a remarkable thing happened. My daughter, who was 11 at the time, was talking with her French teacher at a homeschool co-operative. She mentioned that her dream was to be able to see the Eiffel Tower before she lost all of her vision.

Read the rest of this entry »