“Oh, you need a ride home, of course!,” is something I would have said years ago even though I lived in the opposite direction, or “Sure you can borrow this old thing,“  a dress I spent hours sewing that was returned a size zero after being tossed in the dryer.

There continue to be certain times in my life when my boundaries become blurred. Often viewing my life from someone else’s vantage point, more aware of their feelings and not holding on to myself.

The practice of healthy boundaries is when we view situations from our own perspective. Grace Kerina has written a powerful handbook that uses nautical imagery and metaphors to guide us in creating healthy boundaries.

My favorite chapter is, “Am I sitting by myself in my own boat?” This question has changed my life. Instead of rushing to mollify a situation, I pause and take my foot out of the next guys boat, sit down, and look out from my vantage point. It feels solid and comforting to be in my own boat, no need to save anyone or to prove anything. I am safe. The Healthy Boundaries Handbook guides you in creating boundaries at staff meetings, with loved ones, and everyday situations.

Bon Voyage!

Photo by Susie

Learning to say no has been one of the most powerful lessons of our lives. No thank you. No way. Nope. When you learn how to apply it, life will send you send you great things to say yes to.




Carrie says: I am committed to saying no graciously. Saying, “Let me get back to you, I need to think about it,” or, “That doesn’t work for me.” I pause and know that I can powerfully say yes, no, or maybe! Instead of avoiding the discomfort of saying no.
 



Danielle says: I’m saying no to solitude guilt. Solo time makes me better for myself and humanity. No apologies for that.