Criticism is a killer. It can crush good intentions and depress spirits. Some relationship experts say it’s one of the root causes of divorce. As for complaining and judgmentalness…also total downers.

But some feedback and requests must be delivered. And when it comes to communicating subjects that are sensitive to either you or the recipient – how you say it can be just as important as what you say. It doesn’t matter if you’re talking to someone who adores you, or someone who is paid to do what you tell them, the tone of your voice and the shape of your words is what will linger in their minds.

THIS WEEK: Choose one or two people in your life whom you want to communicate with more effectively. When you connect with them this week, imagine that you’re what Love is The Killer App author, Tim Sanders calls, a Love Cat. Love Cats purr, they don’t hiss. You can be filing a grievance, opposing an opinion, or laying out an ultimatum, and if you do it as if you were speaking directly into the other person’s heart, you may actually be felt and heard.

Love Cats ask nicely. Why claw when you can simply meow?