So I’ve Been Thinking: Valentine’s Day
I’ve been thinking about love lately. Maybe because I have this weird habit of turning on the soft rock station whenever I’m driving long lengths of time at night, and I’ve recently been taking a lot of those long drives with Bryan Adams as my co-pilot. Also, Valentine’s Day is right around the proverbial corner, and every year during this time, my brain gets inundated with a myriad of loud opinions concerning the greatness/awfulness of the holiday.
I spent some time hating Valentine’s Day. I’ll freely admit that. Many years ago, I had the exquisite experience of breaking up with a very important person the day before, and for years afterward, V-Day was synonymous with a horrible sensation of failure and loneliness. If you tried to talk to me about the holiday during that time, I would throw something at you and then walk away. There would be no discussion. Valentine’s Day sucked.
My feelings on the holiday are a little different now; namely, I’m undecided. I’m not the biggest Valentine’s Day cheerleader, but I don’t spend the entire 24 hours walking under a black cloud of misery, either. The friends who hate the day want me to make a big deal out of their hate with them, find anti-Valentine’s Day bars or laugh at couples who end the night in a screaming match. The friends who are coupled want me to understand why it’s so perfect, a day where their partner has to show their appreciation, romance, expensive things, and mix tapes. Each side wants me to join, but I can’t.
It may have something to do with the fact that to me, love is not an emotion that can be reserved for special days or people. I fall in love often; with ideas, foods, beliefs, and yes, even strangers. America’s preoccupation with Valentine’s Day makes me wonder; what are we thinking about the other 364 days of the year?
Are we using the day as an excuse? A way to make up for a relationship we’ve let slip into something resembling roommates with the occasional benefit? Is Valentine’s Day a way to prove that we value our partner more than anyone else…and is that even a good thing? And what about the people who vehemently hate the day? What are they doing to themselves, and why do they feel the need to add an extra dollop of hurt to a heart that’s obviously already suffering?
Maybe the day is nothing more than a shared illusion, brought on by the manufacturers of cheap, chemically-enhanced candy and Hallmark?
Tell me, dear readers, what do you think about Valentine’s Day? Do you celebrate it? Do you politely ignore it? Or do you wish you could just take a bat to it and beat it senseless?
[Photo by ||!prliignore0||]
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February 8th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Several years ago, I actually took a marker and blacked out the day on my calendar, so it went from the 13th to the 15th! This was really for no other reason that my life is often lacking in romantic relationships–good or bad–and I didn't like it being rubbed in. But now, I could basically care less–it's just another day but with more of the “commercial racket.” I use it as an excuse to buy myself some specialty vegan goodies–most companies (like Harbor Candy Shop, Allison's Gourmet, and Chocolate Decadence) make delicious dairy-free Valentine's Day chocolates and I figure, “Hey, someone somewhere has got to want me to have these!”
Besides, since February is American Heart Month, it's also a good “hook” to tell people here in the U.S. to think about their own heart and eat a cholesterol-free vegan diet.
But don't get me wrong, it would be nice to meet “Mr. Right” and celebrate our relationship–all year round though!
February 8th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Maybe Feb 14th should be “National Vegan Chocolate Day”??
…I'd celebrate that.
February 8th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
My family has a special love/hate with relationship with the holiday, given our last name. However, we'll spend the day making our special family Valentine's cookie recipe – heart shaped cookies with the kidlets
February 8th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
In my family we never grew up celebrating Valentine's Day or Mother's Day or Father's Day. My parents were of the opinion that every day is an opportunity to love and respect the people dear to you. Now that I have a family of my own, I continue to ignore these Hallmark holidays. Do I like the idea of love letters and chocolates and other romantic gestures? Sure. But they feel more genuine when they are given spontaneously at any time of the year. I think you are right to wonder why we have this need to institutionalize (or commercialize) love, instead of just allowing ourselves to experience love as the emotion it is.
February 8th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
Every year I bake special cookies and give them to the people I love. Its not anymore just one special person event. I believe in sharing the love! Just like we used to do in school so instead of those little cards I bake heart shaped cookies.
February 8th, 2009 at 8:13 pm
I'm in the middle here…….we just ignore it!
February 9th, 2009 at 9:46 am
Love and romance need daily nourishing. I celebrate Valentine's Day simply as a decadent day showing accomplishment for another year of keeping the love in my life flourishing.
February 9th, 2009 at 8:02 pm
I've been writing about my exes lately in honor of valentines day on http://Washwords.com/words (also part of my X365 series) and found you via searches for other good “exes” posts. heh. I'm glad I did and will certainly be back.
p.s. brian wilson as my copilot- ha!