It’s 6am, dark, and my wife is playing with lego. Alone on the living room floor she sits by the fire, gloriously absorbed in her creative wastefulness.

Not only is this Sunday, the official day of Rest, but it’s the day the clocks got turned back. We have the gift of a whole extra hour, and she’s spending it lavishly, indulgently. She’s not cleaning or working or even thinking about her Things-To-Do list; just enjoying the moment.

Like most adults, I turned the clock back then lay in bed and tried to go back to sleep. But what a waste of a gift, a 100% free hour that comes just once a year. After 364 days of complaining that there’s never enough time to do anything, here’s the chance to indulge.

By the time you read this the official extra hour will be over, but you don’t have to wait until next year. We here at Carrie and Danielle officially and magnanimously grant you a One-Free-Hour coupon, to spend when and where and with whom and especially how you want.

It may not be as easy as it should be. Most of us grown-ups are sadly out of practice in self-indulgence. So here are the steps:

1. Give yourself permission to take an hour off. Hide your Things-To-Do list, turn off the computer, and turn off that part of your mind that always feels like we should be accomplishing something. It’s OK to just enjoy and take care of you for a while.
2. Make a big “if only I had the time…” list. For the next hour you do have that time.
3. Choose one. If you’ve truly let yourself go and done #1 and 2 well, this may be hard. You may suddenly find yourself ready and willing to do any of a long list of things. As you choose one, promise yourself that you’ll make time for others – this isn’t your only chance.
4. Do it. Fully immerse yourself in your chosen indulgence. Giggle once in a while, reminding yourself that you are giving yourself this gift. Be fully aware of how good it feels to be good to you.
5. Do it again. And again. It gets better with practice, and your soul gets better too.

Why on earth would we, who give so much to our families and work and communities, not let ourselves more regularly give to ourselves? Especially as we come to realize that the pay-off is feeling more balanced, healthy and focused in the rest of our day. When I take care of me, I end up in a better place to take care of my kids and house and even that Things-to-Do list.

My one-hour bucket list includes: sex, hot-tub, write a love letter, call a friend (in an eastern time zone), a dark misty-morning walk, a special art project, full-on undivided attention play with the kids, bake a cake, read a trashy novel, browse through old journals, roast a marshmellow in the fireplace.

My wife just came in with her funky multi-colored lego ship, beaming like a kid at Christmas. There’s still a bit of time left in our gift hour – I think I’ll wrap this up and talk to her about a few of the items on my list…

And you – what’s on your one-hour bucket list, and which one are you going to do first?

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Photo by zoutedrop.