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I’m about to teach a weekend Birthing From Within prenatal class. Eight couples will walk through the door of the midwifery clinic tonight, each seeking something different.

They will arrive with a mix of emotions that I suppose any teacher might expect on the first day of school: curiosity, fear, eager anticipation, and even occasional dread. A prenatal class tends to conjure up images of pillows, old-school breathing patterns and birth videos. But in Birthing From Within prenatal classes, my presence in the room is as a mentor rather than teacher. Most of them have no idea what a difference this approach will make in their experience this weekend.

Over the next three days they will indeed learn a lot about the stages of labor and what to expect along the way from birth to baby. The more they learn, the more their questions abound, some asked within the class, some in quiet corners during snack breaks, and some unspoken.

Practical Questions

How long does a contraction last?

How can I tell if my water has broken?

Predicting the Future

What are the chances I’ll be able to give birth naturally?

Will my baby be healthy?

Deeply Personal

Am I strong enough?

Am I ready to be a parent?

As the couples will learn this weekend, the more we discuss their practical questions, the more an underlying theme of the spectrum of possibility will emerge. In the end, very little is true about birth. It is unpredictable. A baby is born. You become a parent. It can be life-changing. At the core of it all is the unknown.

Sometimes I wish I long for an answer to their questions. I wish I could say with absolute confidence that they will have the birth of their dreams, a healthy baby, and a smooth transition to parenthood. But we all know that birth can sometimes be hard, babies are not always healthy, and the road to parenthood, while beautiful, is often bumpy. What I can say with absolute confidence is that they will find their way. While surrender to the unknown is perhaps the greatest challenge of birth and parenthood, it is also one of the greatest gifts.

Sociologist Barbara Katz-Rothman wrote: “Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers – strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength.” On Sunday when these couples walk out the door there will be something different about them – they feel lighter, and there is a new confidence in the changes to come.

The Unknown

As the couples this weekend will grasp in new ways, the unknown extends far beyond the day of their birth. We don’t know what the future will bring – tomorrow or twenty years from now. This idea isn’t new – we all live in the unknown, and have done so since the day of our own birth. There is something about being a parent, however, that brings it to a new level.

I look forward to seeing each of these couples a few months from now with their babies safely in arms. The day will come when these same sweet bundles will take their first steps and first tumbles, first days of school and first dates. We are there with them along the way, hoping that we have given them the love and confidence they will need to navigate their own way through the unknown. Having a child “is to decide to forever have your heart go walking around outside your body,” said Elizabeth Stone.

What a beautiful gift it is to love and trust this much.