You’ve come a long way, baby.

We most certainly have. Powerful female role models, (relatively) equal pay, televised tampon commercials, and the freedom to wear pants. On top of it all, the ability to pursue a career — any career. We’re supposed to embrace that freedom and power, carve out own way in the world, make our own money. All by ourselves. Without help, and surely, without the help of a man.

I will leave the serious dissertations on modern feminism to others — the justification of the housewife, the resurgence of the stay at home mom, being valued for cherishing the role of mothers, placing family above career… That is an ideological debate on values, femininity, freedom of choice, and power.

This article is on money.

While I embrace my self-reliant, self-assured Alpha Woman ideal, allow me to fantasize about “the good life” and play devil’s advocate for a moment.

Marry For Money?

Go ahead, scoff at your Anna Nicole Smiths, your Heather Millses, your Kevin Federlines. But let’s have a look at the positive side. After all, marrying for money can’t be all bad, can it?

For starters, you can quit your day job. Come on, you know you want to. Unless you’re in some wildly fantastic position like Oprah or Jennifer Lopez or Hilary Clinton, you’re probably in a less-than-perfect professional scenario. Well, now that you’ve married Mr. Big, you can finally tell your boss what time it is. Besides, isn’t working overrated and unnatural? Imagine having the choice between lounging on the beach drinking Mai Tais, or sitting in your uncomfortable, non-ergonomic chair in a stuffy office with mediocre coffee and hospital lighting. Which would you prefer?

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Cooking with fresh herbs is sexy and always improves a day that starts out in a bad way. What makes it even more fun is if you know a bit more about the healing and magic qualities of Mother Earth’s herbal garden.

Basil, for example, is held as sacred in many different cultures all over the world. In India it was believed that if a leaf of basil was buried with a person, it would guarantee their passage to heaven. Basil is not only, in my opinion, the most delicious fresh herb on the planet, it’s also Nature’s Prozac…lifts the spirit, helps against depression, anxiety, and stress! Basil is an ancient symbol of Love and still today, in Romania, if a young woman offers a sprig of Basil to a man and he accepts it, they’re officially engaged*.

You can make Basil tea to give yourself a boost but I prefer to use it in stuffed peppers or my delicious veggie pasta sauce, a pick-me-up any day of the week (see recipe below)!

I you want to give yourself a more sensual kind of boost, you can make this amazing green salsa, brilliant with grilled vegetables but also with meat. Two powerful healing herbs make this salsa verde absolutely irresistible: Coriander and Parsley. Coriander was traditionally believed to be an aphrodisiac and science has later proved this to be true. It is estrogenic, so it not only vitalizes you sex life, it also regulates your hormonal balance. It stimulates when our physical energy is low and enhances creativity and memory. Parsley is a powerful antioxidant, prevents premenstrual bloating, cleanses your kidneys and of course…nature’s own breath freshener. In magic it is used for purification and protection.

Do yourself a favor, book an afternoon in the kitchen for some herbal therapy…

Sexy Salsa Verde

1/4-cup olive oil
2 tbsp white wine vinegar
1 tbsp lime juice
1 tsp chopped garlic
1 cup chopped green onions
1/2 cup chopped fresh coriander
1/2 cup chopped fresh Italian parsley
1-2 seeded and coarsely chopped jalapeno peppers
1 cup sour cream
Salt and freshly ground black pepper

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Berlin. A city, that while doused in so much history and character, had never really appealed to me as a destination stamp for my passport. I had never heard anyone say, “oh Berlin is amazing, there is so much beauty and personality to explore within that city you can’t help but fall in love,” but when a friend of mine suggested visiting Berlin I couldn’t help but became curious.

So, with slight reluctance and a great deal of curiosity I decided that Berlin was ready to be discovered.

The Brandenburg Gate is truly stunning, full of columns and an amazing architectural presence that really comes into it’s own at night when the area around the Gate is populated with tourists — many of whom enjoy horse and carriage rides around the city. A local tourist shop caught my eye and as I ventured in I was amazed at the imagery adorning the postcards for sale. Images of the Brandenburg Gate back in the day as the historical Berlin Wall, with barbed wire and armed guards, encaged it. I felt like my childhood Thundercat hero Liono with his “sight beyond sight” vision as my imagination began to run away with thoughts of how different my current surroundings used to be.

As we first caught sight of the 2,700 concrete slabs we simply stopped in our tracks to appreciate what was presented before us; we had reached the Jewish Holocaust Memorial Museum. The memorial is outstanding; you really couldn’t help but be amazed by the structure before you. As we walked amongst the vertical slabs in their grid formation, the path began to rise and fall, allowing the slabs to grow in stature and overpower us completely.

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I can’t understand how someone could have the audacity to swipe an innocent child’s personal information and open fraudulent credit accounts in their name, but then again, I shouldn’t be surprised. I know of many situations where parents have opened accounts in their children’s name; they didn’t pay the bill, and their child spends the first few years of their adult life undoing their parent’s mistake.

Children and Teens are Easy Targets

Identity theft among children is more common than most people realize. In the past year I’ve stumbled upon many cases. There was the infant who owed a $600,000 mortgage loan; and a 14-year-old with more than $10,000 in credit card debt. Children are easy targets for brazen thieves. According to the Federal Trade Commission, approximately 400,000 children under the age of 18 have their identities stolen each year. Unlike adults, children have a clean slate; it’s much easier for thieves to open accounts, and in some cases, thieves don’t have to work hard to acquire a child’s personal information. Some children and teens willingly offer this information. Therefore, it’s important for parents to closely monitor their children’s activity and take steps to protect their identity.

Keeping Personal Information Secret

Thieves don’t need a lot of information to open a fraudulent account. In most cases, the only information they need is a birth date, full name, and Social Security number. Children should understand the importance of keeping this information private. It shouldn’t be revealed to anyone, including friends, relatives, teacher or other trusted adults.

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Now that last year has drawn to a close, we’ll most likely begin to see retrospectives and remembrances of all the famous people who died. Each year at this time, the national preoccupation with loss brings me face to face with my own longing for those no longer present: A dear friend, an aunt, a colleague. What to do with the grief , the memories and pieces of ourselves that lie dormant? Over the years different practices have helped me and I am grateful to friends and family who have taught me by their own example.

Capture the Memories of Passed Loved Ones

Gather together with friends and family and retell the stories that connect you to those no longer with us. Don’t worry if not all the stories are flattering, it’s the sheer life in them that preserves. Pull out the photo albums, re-read the old letters. What was the joke he always got wrong? What was the story she loved to tell every year? Let the tears flow and the laughter heal.

Write Letters to Those Who Have Passed

Sometimes, when the feelings run too deep and the wound is too raw for collective reminiscing, I find letter writing to be an intimate and cathartic activity. Sometimes I write to the friend I lost. I want him to know what is happening in my life. I want to tell him what has happened in our world that I know would give him joy. Sometimes I write to my children so that they may learn about their special relative. I can share her impact in my life and convey to my children what would surely have been her wish for them. The letters don’t need an address. The writing is the tribute.

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