The trick about being an effectively destructive mother-in-law is to phrase things in a way that seem entirely reasonable. Make it sound as though you’re trying to be helpful and actually really care for your daughter-in-law’s well being.
Start by commenting on the cooking…
When your daughter-in-law puts in an annoyingly huge effort to cook a lavish meal for you and starts fishing for compliments, be sure to remind her that “normal people” eat earlier in the day and gently suggest this could help her keep her weight down. If this doesn’t squelch her attempts to impress you with her culinary skills, be sure to mention several times how rich the food is, and though delicious, the amount of fat is going to give you a heart attack. Say this particularly if she’s a better cook than you are.
Be sure not to complain outright that the food is too spicy. Simply grab at your throat, drink a great deal of water, see if you can work up an excellent flushed complexion. (Holding your breath while fanning your face works well.) Best not to comment on the distinctly ethnic recipe, counter with a complaint of heartburn instead. When she makes a plain light meal next, ask to pass the salt at least three times, then the pepper, then request butter, lemon, ketchup, soy sauce, hot mustard or anything that will “jazz it up.” Chuckle compassionately and whisper, “I remember when I was just starting out in the kitchen too!” Then end the meal with a reference to your best dish and how much your son loves it. Offer to give her the recipe.
What if food was just food? That is, what if you put food back in its place? In this world, with so much emphasis and information constantly thrown at us about which foods are better, better, best it becomes easy to get caught up in all of it. The book, In Defense Of Food: An Eater’s Manifesto by Michael Pollan, touches on the subject of food getting picked apart as we try to take out all the bad and add in all the good. Food begins to get overly complicated and something valuable gets lost in the process.
Tried Every Diet?
However, I want to take the defense of food in another direction. One that might speak more fully to those who have tried every diet and created a negative relationship with food that preoccupies too much of your precious time and regularly steals away your sense of wellbeing. What if food was just food? What if food, in and of itself, could not take away nor create your wellbeing and peace?
As the holiday season approaches, a lot of us will find our already hectic, day-to-day routines getting even more jam-packed with things to do. Whether it’s entertaining, gift buying, or just making the rounds visiting family and friends during the festive season, the added activity can often leave us wondering where all the ‘tidings of comfort and joy’ have gone.
If you find yourself in the midst of a holiday headache, or turning into a stressed out Santa, why not try a little aromatherapy instead of reaching for an over the counter pain killer? There are many different ways to make use of essential oils, especially for holiday stress relief.
The trick about being an effectively destructive mother-in-law is to phrase things in a way that seem entirely reasonable. Make it sound as though you’re trying to be helpful and actually really care for your daughter-in-law’s well being. 
