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Note to Self: This Is Not What You’re Looking For

Books | October 23rd, 2008 by Traci Post

There have been periods in my life when I’ve journaled frantically, recording the day-to-day details and meanderings as though my memory relied on it. And there have been times—like now, for instance—when journaling seems like a silly thing for me to do. As a rule, I don’t think that keeping a journal is by any means silly…in fact, it generally seems like an important activity, and I’d like to get my diary mojo back.

In hopes of doing just that, I plucked from the bookstore shelf Note to Self: On Keeping a Journal and Other Dangerous Pursuits by Samara O’Shea. O’Shea is a young writer with a relatively diverse background, and I had high hopes that she and I would have some things in common. Perhaps she, too, has difficulty being faithful to her journal and would have helpful advice about how to reclaim the habit. Sadly, I did not find what I was looking for.

O’Shea’s writing is at once conversational, luscious, and funny, and the excerpts chosen for each chapter—both from her own diary and from those who’ve gone before her—are beautiful and expertly chosen. The reading itself was highly enjoyable. I should just be happy with that…bathe in O’Shea’s lovely words and leave it alone.

Diary Indulgence

But I can’t. Perhaps I have a deeper love for categorization than I realized (which is far more desirable than the thought that I may be a closeted inside-the-box thinker), but I just don’t know what this book is. In each chapter, O’Shea discusses a topic on which she has journaled, offering a few questions to get the ball rolling, followed by a glimpse into her own life and into the journals of some very interesting characters in history. This seems like a great idea in theory, but I fear the execution was not quite what it could be. O’Shea dedicates far more words to the goings on in her life (especially her sex life; I know more about her sexual appetite and ex-boyfriends’ techniques than I know what to do with) than she does to tips on the act of journaling or to journal excerpts. So what is this? Is it a guide to journaling? A memoir? A self-help guide? An excuse for O’Shea to indulge her own “What if the whole world saw my diary” fantasy?

I chose this book hoping to find a cure for my tumultuous relationship with journaling. My problem lies with my omnipresent bitchy inner editor who warns me that my entries are liable to cause the first documented case of death by boredom. Note to Self did nothing to quell these fears. O’Shea’s journal excerpts are so well-written and so nice to read, that I fear reading this book has done nothing but give me a whole bunch of fodder for undue comparison. Couldn’t she have found just one crappy entry to include for the rest of us?

Gimme Some Guidance

While there was the occasional gem to be found (the how-to section in the chapter on spirituality was particularly interesting), Note to Self was severely lacking in the guidance I was craving. I still don’t have my miracle cure for my journaling problem, but this book did give me an idea. O’Shea’s limited guidance consisted largely of questions to ask yourself to begin a journal entry, which seems like a reasonable method. So…why not go to the Carrie and Danielle’s Daily Q&A’s for inspiration? Participate in the conversation, and then follow up yourself in a journal entry. Get a little verbose on the subject…you never know what you might learn.

Come to think of it…maybe that is my miracle cure.

 

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