My Twilight Confession: The Upside of Obsession
I confess. I am a Twilight fanatic. In a matter of two weeks, I read all four books, saw the movie twice, and bought the soundtrack. It was like a sickness, I couldn’t stop. I tried to fight it at first, but by the fourth chapter I’d completely given into the madness. I buried my nose deep into the books during every free moment, stealing myself away from much-needed sleep and midday meals.
After a few days in my Twilight-induced haze, I suddenly thought…what the hell was up with me? Why did these books have me suddenly relishing my 90-minute bus commute? Why couldn’t I put them down? Why had I become possessed by a desperate need to know about a gorgeous teenage vampire and his plain human girlfriend?
Oh. OH.
The romance. Ah, romance. That sweet rush of breathlessness.
I remembered romance. I missed romance.
Finding Romance in My Own Life
And then I was awake. I was ripped out of the doldrums of my work-home-sleep-work-home-sleep life and awakened to the fact that I had been asleep. It’s so easy to get lost in the day to day, to lose oneself to schedules and obligations, and getting comfortable translates so quickly into getting bored. The importance of romance is so easily forgotten, yet so easily reclaimed.
So why didn’t I? What was stopping me?
Nothing, it seems. (Well, nothing but a bit of sweetly misplaced jealousy. I promise, Honey…I know Edward Cullen is fictional. I want to be with you.) I decided to allow myself to remember that exciting newness from when my husband and I met, and that desperate feeling I’d get when he was away from me. I remembered, and I felt it again.
And, magically, it was all back. The kisses started to linger, my heart jumped when I remembered the shocking blue of his eyes, and the gap between us that seemed necessary for sound sleep closed when I remembered how my cheek fit just so on his chest.
Dear readers, please stop gagging now. My point is not to make you nauseated, but to make you look a little deeper.
What’s Your Obsession Telling You?
What is your obsession? What’s that one pretend thing that you just can’t get enough of? And what is it telling you?
It’s saying something when it stirs inside you and keeps you awake. It’s speaking to you — and you should listen. Wake up and pay attention. Don’t let yourself be satisfied simply by visiting a make-believe world again and again…bring it into your life. Create it for yourself.
Maybe your obsession is an old movie. Perhaps you could spend the afternoon snatching up beautiful vintage finds? Or maybe it’s Jane Austen. Remind yourself that your husband is your Mr. Darcy. Maybe it’s James Bond. Get yourself a fancy gadget, a tux, and a martini. Indulge your fantasy and allow yourself the joy. It’s really not as hard as it seems. Maybe it will spur you to be a little more romantic, a little more daring, a little more willing to bring excitement back into your life.
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January 5th, 2009 at 8:07 pm
I think you hit the nail on the head with this one. Bravo.
January 5th, 2009 at 9:58 pm
Great post – I'm on the Twilight train too, and have already begun planning my wedding to Edward Cullen…
January 5th, 2009 at 11:34 pm
I'm currently in the middle of a Twilight obsession myself (on the third book and I started last week!)…and I think you're right, it's definitely got me thinking about my boyfriend and the romance we share. However, since he's two states away for the winter, I'll have my memories, our talks, and vampire love stories to tide me over!
January 6th, 2009 at 7:56 am
As your Mom, I have bragging rights to this! Probably one of the best reviews I've read, or that you've done. I'm inspired by your message to all of us that with a little creativity we can bring our fantasies closer to realities. After all, we've created our lives with our dreams in mind, and every day needed routines tend to bury them. Time to bring them back to life, and live them as much as we can. “Dance as if no one is watching.”
Great message Trac.
January 6th, 2009 at 8:13 am
Awesome post. I'm a fiction writer, so even though I have a non-creative corporate day job that consumes a lot of my time, I spend a lot of time in my head as well, just playing pretend – I am 23 years old and I don't think I'll ever give the practice up. It is my obsession. I am constantly listening for interesting bits of dialogue or figuring out how to spin a real-life situation into an exciting story.
I think that habitual fantasy has been something that has saved my sanity many times during the drudgery of my day-to-day life, and it gives me back a little bit of that joy I felt as a kid when I was the one in charge of “making up the stories”…
January 6th, 2009 at 8:59 am
I'm obsessed with the blog of the people that would have been my inlaws if I had married that girl. Instead, I married another woman. I can't get enough of seeing their life – it seems almost picture perfect (even when they blog about fights and illness). This was a great post…I needed to get this off my chest and what you had to say was some good insight.
January 6th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Thanks, everyone! Glad you enjoyed it!
January 6th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
Traci, now you're in MY head! I just started book number two and had come to similar insights…must be a Libran voodoo moment. Thanks for such a beautiful, articulate post.
Mxo
January 19th, 2009 at 8:45 am
There's a book about Austen obsessives called Austenland, which shows what happens when a few people go too far wishing to be in a fictional world. It is a good idea to find something you can do that recreates some of the feeling you get from your obsession.
February 12th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
[...] think Traci’s blog post hits a home run by asking the earnest question… What do our obsessions tell us about ourselves? [...]
March 14th, 2009 at 5:39 am
Totally agree with what your are saying. The 4 books and music have helped me through this terrible Canadian winter which has gone on and on. Also is has greatly improved my 30 year marrige to a wonderful man.
June 6th, 2009 at 1:10 am
I think its totally normal a LOT of girls even boys are obsessed with twilight so don't worry.