0

Comments

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little more than a year, and things are going really well. We spend tons of time together and are going away soon on a fun, adventurous vacation to Central America. He lives in an apartment with a roommate, and I still live at home in an attempt to save money. I spend the majority of my time at his apartment, though; we have more privacy there than at my house with my lovely but neurotic mother.

The Why

Since I practically live at his apartment and because I’m tired of packing sleepover bags full of extra undies and pajamas, we’ve decided to take our relationship to the next step by moving in together. Not today or tomorrow, but we’ve decided to begin looking for a place of our own once we get back from our vacation excursion. I can’t handle living at home anymore; I’m in my mid-20s and want my own home to go along with my own independence. I want an adult home now with the man I love. We want to bring our relationship to the next level, and we both feel moving in together is the perfect next step.

Now, I’ve never lived with a man before. Sure, I’ve spent enough time over at my boyfriend’s apartment to make it seem as if I live there, but I’ve never had the “honey, I’m home” feeling. We’re extremely close, though, and I’m excited about this new chapter in our lives. For the first time, I am on my way to building a life with the man I love, and I can’t be happier.

The Adjustments

While we’re very close, living together is a whole different ball game. For one, when you live with someone, you get to know more about that person than you’d like, such as whether they leave dirty socks all over the floor or whether they throw old milk away before it curdles.

Most importantly, you get to see these aspects of your significant other and decide whether or not you can put up with them. I’m not worried about finding things out about my boyfriend that I may not know now; I love him and couldn’t care less how long his dirty socks stay on the floor. I am worried about whether or not he’ll be able to handle my slightly OCD demeanor, though. I know he loves me, but I’m just worried he may not know what he’s getting himself into.

How We’ll Manage

What we’ll need to do in order to maintain a happy balance and our own independence is to create some boundaries. He needs his nights out with his friends, and I need my time with mine. We need our time together–our nights of staying in, making dinner, and watching our favorite TV shows. Additionally, he works nights and I work days, so we already have our own time worked into our schedules.

Why This Is Necessary

Having a balance between your independence and your relationship creates a happy medium between an individual’s two worlds. While I love my boyfriend more than anything, spending 24/7 with him would be unhealthy for both of us.

Being adults about our soon-to-be new home will put us on the right path to creating the life we want with each other the right way. If we do that, then the only way our relationship can change is for the better.