Life Balance Is A Myth! Find the Right Proportion

Spirituality | October 8th, 2008 by Carrie McCarthy

One of our questions in the Style Statement process is “What do you want more of?” For many women, the answer is balance. Balance is defined as “equal distribution”. But is that realistic and practical in our lives? Are we pursuing a myth?

I was having tea with my good friend, Patricia Larsen talking about life, love, longings and this myth of balance, and I had an ah-ha moment.

Life is about proportion. A sense of proportion happens when “different parts collectively make an object, intention or job whole”. We get to choose the appropriate, agreeable combination of elements. I presently choose that 80% of my life is building our company: The Daily Q&A and Style Statement. 10% is taking care of my well being, and 10% is for connecting with my husband.

This is definitely not a balanced life, but it is a conscious and appropriate choice for the time being—and it is in proportion to my desires and commitment. I have edited out of my life what doesn’t align with those desires; let go of reading novels, throwing dinner parties, and knitting a sweater. I feel relieved, I can’t do it all and more importantly I don’t want to do it all.

Four questions to support the proportion of your life.

What do you desire?
What are your commitments?
What is the combination, the ratio of your desires to commitments?
What do you need to let go of?

One might say my life is out of proportion. I say it’s in sync with my intentions. Proportion is unique to everyone and only works when it’s created intentionally.

. . . . . . .

Photo courtesy of seier+seier+seier

Viewing 7 Comments

Emily-Sarah 10/08/2008 11:42 AM 1 point
Please login to rate.

Do you already have an account? Log in and claim this comment.

You are absolutely right! This should be an Eureka! moment for us all. Yes! Life is "in sync with my intentions. Proportion is unique to everyone and only works when it's created intentionally." And it's so true that these proportions will shift and change as our situations and desires (and commitments) do. Thanks for this great reminder that it really is OK to say no to a lovely invitation to be with friends in order to finish my research paper -- I'm back in grad school for my master's degree; only part-time but the work load and commitment (and desire to keep my 4.0) still require that I let go of other things. Because of your blog, I realize I can let go of my pocket of guilt too! :-)

reply edit reblog flag

CarrieM 10/08/2008 12:48 PM 1 point
Please login to rate.

Do you already have an account? Log in and claim this comment.

All the best with your masters Emily-Sarah. Enjoy studying with intention!

reply edit reblog flag

1 /people/CarrieM/ /people/CarrieM/following/

MoJo 10/08/2008 12:22 PM 1 point
Please login to rate.

Do you already have an account? Log in and claim this comment.

True words of wisdom Carrie, thank you. Having spent a lot of time working for HR consultants - the 'work/life balance' enigma was always a frustrating concept to me. I get that it is meant to be a helpful tool to assess where our energy is going, but find for the most part it's become just another cross to bear, or idea that we use to add to the 'if I could just get that, it would be alright' pile of jargon.

It's a critical distinction - toss out the 'balance' and bring in the 'in sync with my intentions'...perfect!

reply edit reblog flag

1 /people/MoJo69/ /people/MoJo69/following/ 569501563

Kim 10/08/2008 01:22 PM 1 point
Please login to rate.

Do you already have an account? Log in and claim this comment.

It's funny how you read things at that exact moment when you need perspective. I am a married, 41-year-old law student, currently enrolled in four classes, dieting, with my 8-year-old at home this week because she got her tonsils out yesterday, trying to juggle my husband's, my two children and my own priorities without losing my mind. Your post was exactly what I needed to keep from being overwhelmed. I might need to continually change the proportions, but as long as I am fulfilling my desires and commitments, I should be okay. Thank you Carrie.

reply edit reblog flag

DanielleLaPorte 10/08/2008 02:01 PM 1 point
Please login to rate.

Do you already have an account? Log in and claim this comment.

yah - balance schmalance! I think the whole pursuit of balance (and never attaining it) is just another occasion to criticize ourselves. A life truly lived is has very little to do with even keeling it. Ask any activist, artist, entrepreneur, mom, world wanderer, monk...

reply edit reblog flag

0 /people/DanielleLaPorte/ /people/DanielleLaPorte/following/ http://www.whitehottruth.com 639856268 in/daniellelaporte

alligator_kate 10/09/2008 04:58 PM 1 point
Please login to rate.

Do you already have an account? Log in and claim this comment.

Balance is also a static concept. Look at nature. It is always changing, always transforming, moving, dancing. We are too. There are only 2 days a year when light and dark are in equal proportion....

reply edit reblog flag

1 /people/alligator_kate/ /people/alligator_kate/following/ http://friendlyherbalist.com

CarrieM 10/09/2008 08:05 PM 1 point
Please login to rate.

Do you already have an account? Log in and claim this comment.

so true, nature is in a constant dance. Thanks A

reply edit reblog flag

1 /people/CarrieM/ /people/CarrieM/following/