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Today’s society encourages women to speak up, be assertive, and make their own choices. It’s as pervasive as our breathing. The freedom is liberating. But even in an age of individualism and independence, people still take advantage of women. It happens in all the places that are important to us—at work, in our doctor’s offices, and in every other aspect of our lives.

A specific instance happened to me not long ago. I was in the doctor’s office, and my doctor told me that I should have a test done during the 18th week of pregnancy to make sure my baby had no birth defects. I agreed but researched the test thoroughly when I got home, and I came to find out that the test could hurt me and my unborn baby. I couldn’t believe I’d agreed to it. When I went to the doctor the next time, I explained that I didn’t want to put myself or the baby at risk. After I explained my stance on the procedure, the doctor kindly backed down and respected my opinion.

When We Need to Step Up

Let’s focus first on the workplace. Have co-workers ever approached you and asked you to do them a favor by putting a list together? Before you know it, those “favors” become a daily practice. If you’re like me and want to make a good impression, you smile politely and agree to help, all the while wondering why you’re doing it. You shouldn’t be. The truth is, we worry so much about pleasing others that we don’t always speak up when we should. Some women are simply afraid of being labeled assertive. We worry about being called the b-word simply for sticking up for ourselves.

But you need to speak up. What good are you doing by letting people walk all over you?

Be Strong

Perhaps you’ve been getting flack at the office for your performance. No matter what you do, you can’t seem to get ahead. It’s time for your performance review, and though you’ve been working your butt off, you’re not quite up to par. The boss goes over your progress and asks if you think you’re doing a good job. A lot of employers use tricks like this to make you cave under pressure. It makes their job easier if you admit defeat–then they can easily hand you a pink slip and say, “Well, you admitted it.”

Perhaps it’s because we’re afraid of going against authority, but in situations like these, we need to stand our ground. Even if you know you’ve fallen short in a few areas, look your boss straight in the eye and say, “Yes, I believe I’m doing a good job” and state a reason. That way you’re not easily giving into defeat. Instead, you’re lifting yourself up.

Speak Up

Another gray area for a lot of women is the doctor’s office. The doctor says you should have a specific test done, but something doesn’t sound quite right about it. You bite your tongue.

The truth of it all is that you can’t let a doctor decide what’s right for you. He or she might know the details of your situation, but only you can evaluate whether or not something is right for you or if it’s what you really want. The more tests you have done, the more money the doctor gets. And while your doctor may be looking out primarily for your health, it’s your body. Calmly explain to the doctor that you don’t think the test is right for you, and don’t be afraid of being too assertive. Who else is going to stand up for you?

Be Yourself

That’s right–no one is going to stand up for you but yourself. You have the power to control all of your own choices and actions, so make the best of them. And if something seems off to you, open your mouth! Rather than churning on the inside over those situations, turn them into powerful opportunities to speak your mind and let your true self shine through.

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