Before I moved to France, one of the biggest warnings I got was about “culture shock,” but I just laughed. It wasn’t as though I was leaving for a hut in a third world village without potable water. Whenever I had to deal with the post office closing at midday on Wednesday or Monoprix going on strike, I jokingly blamed it on culture shock, the ever invisible, ever looming bad guy. It wasn’t until I returned to North America that I actually experienced culture shock: suddenly jolted back into my old patterns, I finally realized how slowly and invisibly my attitude towards the simplest things had been changing. It all had to do with one thing: time.

How the French See Time

Time in France and time in America are not the same. In France, time is an approximate concept. “Sept heures” can mean fifteen or even twenty past seven. This tendency is just a symptom of the real difference between the two cultures: whereas the American culture is based on “faire,” to do, to achieve, to accomplish, to make, French culture is based on “être,” to be.

In America, we run our lives with day planners and calendars. We plan each minute of our days down to our twenty-five minute lunch breaks. In France, if it doesn’t get done today, it will get done tomorrow; if there is something better to do, your appointments are insignificant.

In America, when someone says they are going to run an errand that day, by the evening, it is assumed that it will have been accomplished. In France, you don’t worry so much. If the sun is out at noon, abandon any afternoon plans and sit down with a glass of wine with your lunch. If a festival is starting, or there is music playing in the center of town, then whatever it was will get done tomorrow. In America, there never seems to be enough time for anything. In France, time is plentiful.

The French don’t live by their watches, by their planners and by their calendars. In France, people know how to be.

Top Five Ways to “Be”

5. Lose the agenda. Take a day and leave your day planner behind: what do you want to do? See a movie? Take a walk? Forget about all the stuff you “should” be doing, and do exactly what you want.
4. Sit in a café. If you’re lucky enough to be in Paris, you can sit in a café over one cup of coffee all day without feeling guilty. If you’re in the States, it may be a little harder, but find a coffee shop that doesn’t mind, park yourself in a comfy chair with a good book, and lose yourself in the smell of freshly ground beans.
3. Take yourself out to dinner. Round up a couple of friends, and treat yourselves to a multi-course dinner with at least one bottle of wine. If funds are tight, just make it at home: have everyone bring one dish so that the hostess doesn’t feel overwhelmed, and stress things that can be served at room temperature so that you don’t have to worry about timing.
2. Take a trip in your own backyard. There are many festivals or markets going on, especially at this time of year. Do some research online and drive an hour or two out of your way to see something new.
1. Be alone. We’re so surrounded by people in our daily lives that sometimes it’s hard to take a moment alone to just breathe. Take a few minutes (preferably more) doing something you love all by yourself.

[Photo by ||!prliignore0||]