How have you changed?

Daily | September 18th, 2008 by Carrie McCarthy

From full-tilt transformation to small habits, just slightly adjusted…

Carrie says: I was snobby and righteous. I’m kinder, softer with myself and others.

Danielle says: The more I know, the less I have to say. I’m more comfortable with silence, and I have less of a need to be seen as the really smart girl at the party.

Read today’s blog: Hello Anxiety! Embracing Your Authenticity.

And! Carrie’s Tips for Living With A Perfectionist.

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Jody 09/19/2008 03:42 AM 1 point
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I expect less and appreciate more from those closest to me. I am also kinder to myself.

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http://www.boutiquemoney.com.au

Pearl Mattenson 09/19/2008 05:10 AM 1 point
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I used to be ruled by the desire to be accepted by others. More and more I am inspired to align with my own deepest beliefs.

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http://www.pearlmattenson.com

Traci 09/19/2008 05:19 AM 1 point
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I awoke one day, perfectly aghast to find I had become quite judgemental. I slapped myself in the face and have since made it a daily conscious effort to hold a "to-each-his-own" attitude.

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bene 09/19/2008 06:15 AM 1 point
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Did I ever. I was snobby, gossipy and righteoud as well. Oh..what a nightmare. I used to be an intellectual snob and forwn uopon anyone or, more rightfully, almost everyone`s taste in literature and arts. I did not feel great at the time, I felt very unsignificant. I lashed out at everyone to inflate my ego. Kharma finallay came and bit me in the ass, and now I feel really sorry for verything I did or said in that period. I recently met an old friend and he was in the " snobby and righteous" period as well. It made me laugh at first, it seem to be one of the stages in our development. Then I noticed how it seperates you from others, how can anyone feel like a part of the world when they are always better than everyone else? I remembered how lonely I felt at the time. I think part of our journeys goal is to understand that we are all the same and when you get that, really get that. that we are one, then your ego deflate and the world will be a better place.

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Girl-Woman 09/19/2008 07:10 AM 1 point
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The older I get, the less I strive for perfectionism; hence, the more relaxed I feel. Life is too short to "sweat the small stuff" and "it's all small stuff."

And like Danielle, the more I know, the quieter -- and more relaxed - I become.

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Licarrit 09/19/2008 07:12 AM 1 point
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I take less sh*t! I used to be, in the words of Helen Gurley Brown, a "mouseburger" now I am more tigress. Mostly because I have grown into myself.

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Kristin 09/19/2008 07:16 AM 1 point
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I used to be a doormat. I let friends, acquaintances, boyfriends treat me however they wished, and I put up with some pretty abhorrent behaviour. I never thought I was good enough for anyone else, and I was so desperate to be liked. It's been a slow process, but I am grateful that I am now selective with the people I allow into my inner world. Realizing that not everyone has to be a 'friend' has been transformational for my self-image.

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Becciebeth 09/19/2008 07:33 AM 1 point
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I use to have to be and have the perfect everything; mother, wife, friend, daughter, house, car, hair, everything just in it's right place as if it landed there perfectly without my help. I did throw marvolous parties ( which a part of me misses a bit), but all of it was fake and very, very exhausting. The change occurred thrrough sorrowful events but in the end I am happier now, and more relaxed than ever. I am now comfortable being the mom I am, with children who are free to explore and live (my poor oldest really missed out on some fun mud pie, run in the rain, messy bubble bath, eat the cookie batter days). I am a wife that does not cook a 5 course meal 7 days a week, and if the beds don't get made that day OH Well. We can have guests over and enjoy a BBQ and have just as much fun and more than a formal catered party for even a 4th of July party. I love so much my siblings and parents for always accepting me through all of these changes, and for never looking at me and saying, "You're Nuts" Oh the memories this question brought back.

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Jess 09/19/2008 08:05 AM 1 point
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I'm in my early 20s - these are my years of change :)
I learned to be nicer to myself, to forgive myself for silly and immature decisions I've made in the past.
I do not tolerate people in my life that have a negative influence, nor do I tolerate people who disrespect me.
I do not have the need to be liked by everyone anymore. I'm trying to be more focused on what I want. I am more driven towards my goals. I am more settled into myself, I don't feel myself looking around wondering what people think of me - I realize they probably don't even notice because they're so fixated on themselves!

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Karen 09/19/2008 08:17 AM 1 point
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In my late teens, early twenties I was bossy. I knew what should be done and when and most often I was right. But I have changed in that I no longer feel the need to make sure everyone else knows I am right or to have them follow my direction. If they choose not to, and I am right - oh well, if I am wrong - so much the better. I have come to realize that there are many paths to the same destination and the path I choose is right for me but not necessarily my sisters.

In my twenties, I was boastful of how much some of my possesions cost. I have changed to recognize the differnce between spending money on lasting pieces versus fashionable pieces and also to just enjoy their value quietly. I no longer need to tell others what I have spent and often downplay when asked directly.

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Jennifer Sage 09/19/2008 08:24 AM 1 point
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That is quite a question. Has the authentic me really changed at all? No Am I changed? In many ways. Who I really am is more visible.
At present with the encouragement and help from my husband the change I am working on is the tendency to be excessively energised and excited about many things. My voice gets louder and that energy takes up space. He will give me a very subtle hand signal.
I ground myself physically and I can feel myself relaxing. My volume goes down.
I am becoming aware that it makes me more approachable.
I read somewhere "Who we are is eternal. Who we are not changes. Love that

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Colette 09/19/2008 08:31 AM 1 point
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In the past year since I began Rapid Eye Therapy, I have become an enteriely different woman in the way I perceive life, the people and events around me. Instead of being a victim where every one else rules over me, I now proactively take charge of my life. My belief system has changed nearly 100%.

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http://www.mysecretforyouth.com

Kathleen 09/19/2008 08:38 AM 1 point
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I focus more on myself, less on others. I'm better about letting go, less of a perfectionist. I have more fun.

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Shelly 09/19/2008 08:41 AM 1 point
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Snobby people used to make me angry - most likely because it exposed my fears of being rejected. But my change has been to see that we all have our own way of dealing with our fears and the challenges in life and to be more accepting of myself and everyone else.

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Jennifer Sage 09/19/2008 08:47 AM 1 point
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The changing stops when you kick your oxygen addiction.
Jess, change never stops until you die. The human personality grows throughout life.
It just gets richer and more soulful

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Wazzy 09/19/2008 08:50 AM 1 point
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I am proud of who I am. I had a blind date this week and I said things that I thought, or ways that I am, and I didn't state them in a cutesy way, to make myself seem ironic. Instead I stated them as a fact and did not apologize for them or try to twist them around to seem endearing. I like to go home and read and go to bed! I don't know how much faith I have in marriage. That's what I believe. For the first time, I felt the freedom of knowing that who I am can and WILL remain intact, no matter what anyone else thinks or wants.

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Carrie McCarthy 09/19/2008 08:57 AM 1 point
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RET worked for me too. I felt my body accept compassion for myself and ultimately for others. Landmark Education was pivotal as well.

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http://carrieanddanielle.com

Joannie 09/19/2008 09:25 AM 1 point
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I need solitude and silence where once I couldn't stand either. I stopped smoking nearly 12 years ago and now smell wonderful. I don't explain when I cancel an appointment, or change my mind. I trust my intuition (myself) completely, express my feelings, am honest with myself. And much more...

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Carrie McCarthy 09/19/2008 09:25 AM 1 point
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Check our our blog today on perfectionism!

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http://carrieanddanielle.com

kim 09/19/2008 09:27 AM 1 point
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I am more relaxed about life, happier in the day-to-day, truly thankful what has come my way. How wonderful that we never stop learning and growing. You will never "get there" so you might as well just learn to enjoy the ride.

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Joannie 09/19/2008 09:27 AM 1 point
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Who we are is eternal. Who we are not changes.

I love that too! :)

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Carrie McCarthy 09/19/2008 09:29 AM 1 point
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How was your date? Bravo for being the true you Wazzy!

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http://carrieanddanielle.com

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From full-tilt transformation to small habits, just slightly adjusted…

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