How do your actions manifest, and contradict, your beliefs?

Daily | September 12th, 2008 by Danielle LaPorte

The proof is in what you do… With our special guest, Meredith Maran, author of Dirty, 50 Ways to Support Lesbian and Gay Equality and Class Dismissed, among many others.

Carrie says: If I was truly tested would my beliefs change? I don’t believe in capital punishment, until something brutal happened to my loved ones. I believe marriage is forever but not if love is lost an not just for the kids sake. Daily, I am environmentally aware until it costs more than I’m prepared to spend.

Danielle says: I believe that everyone is on a path that leads to their higher good - even if it might not appear that way. Thus, I rarely give unsolicited advice, and I’m really consistent with that. I’m not as congruent with my environmental awareness and my actions. I couldn’t deal with cloth diapers so we used disposables, I drive my car to work, I take really hot showers. I also consider myself a beef-eating vegetarian - how’s that for contradiction?!

Meredith says: I believe deeply that no matter what we say about what we believe and what we want — for ourselves and for the world — we express the truth of that in what we do. I hold myself to that standard, for better and for worse. My greatest triumphs and worst failures in that regard are mostly in the realm of relationships.

Read Danielle’s Friday Focus today: Self Love and the Judge.

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Traci 09/12/2008 04:17 AM 1 point
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I am one big ball of contradiction. I believe that children are some of the most amazing people on earth and that families are essential, yet I don't want to have children of my own. I was beyond-myself excited about the idea of having a female president, but Sarah Palin makes me want to shove a pencil in my ear. I love sleep, but I sometimes feel like it's a waste.

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Karen 09/12/2008 06:39 AM 1 point
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My mother told me that actions speak louder than words, and I think she was right! You're living the life you built....as choices are there, whether or not you take them, they're always there. Taking responsibility for one's life is the first step towards any meaningful change. Mom also said "Talk is cheap." Right again, Mom!

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Kristin 09/12/2008 07:10 AM 1 point
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At one time, I had all sorts of opinions I would freely spew to anyone who would listen. I've since realized the flimsy nature of this sort of behaviour, and try to let my actions show my character. That said, I do struggle with finding compassion for the violent drug users of our town and the preteen mothers who, in Britain, have access to free birth control. I don't wear fur but do wear leather. I have no sympathy for any form of extremism, yet tend to keep quiet rather than argue with others about their views, whether religious, political or ethnic.

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JoeM 09/12/2008 07:50 AM 1 point
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I believe everything that happens in life is a teaching experience, and change is inevitable. If we stop learning and changing, then we are lost. But, I also believe that we frame our actions through awareness, and the more awake and aware we are the easier it is for us to frame our actions in a positive and constructive manner. Being unaware creates a possibility for negative or destructive action(s). Regardless of which we choose, we get feedback for our actions. So, the investment in the constructive or positive, versus negative or destructive, is constantly mediated by our awareness and willingness to change. The beauty of this arrangement is that it is testable. Wake up in the morning in a deep dark funk and wallow in it - guess what your afternoon is going to be like? Force yourself out of bed and go out and do something positive and creative, and guess what your afternoon is probably going to be like? I also believe we are emotional beings. When something evil happens to us, or our families, we can find ourselves suddenly believing in the death penalty. However, logically and in reality we know that a significant percentage of those convicted and given the death penalty are innocent. So, ethically the death penalty is an act that purpetuates murder of innocent people, no matter how we feel about those guilty. Not allowing for positive change in a negative or destructive act also condemns those who perpetuate bad acts for the common good to a non-redeeming limbo; combat soldiers for instance. I believe all humans can become aware, promote positive action, and grow, regardless of their mistakes. So, there is always hope for the worst of us.

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Joannie 09/12/2008 07:53 AM 1 point
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Wasn't it Walt Whitman who said something about contradicting himself and it being okay? It's on the tip of my tongue but doesn't reach my brain! Perhaps someone knows the quote exactly.

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Joannie 09/12/2008 08:06 AM 1 point
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I believe we should take care of the earth but don't always compost or recycle absolutely everything I could.

I don't believe in capital punishment, which is not part of the Canadian Justice System - SO FAR - but there are some convicted criminals I might be persuaded to throw the switch on or give a lethal injection to; i.e. Paul Bernardo.

There are some people I long to be close to but keep my guard up and my distance out of fear even though I'm an outgoing, warm, extrovert who hugs easily.

I think I'm full of contradictions. I think we all are. Hey, I think that's what makes us so infinitely interesting as a species.

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Jamie 09/12/2008 08:08 AM 1 point
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Here it is:

Do I contradict myself?
Very well, then I contradict myself
(I am large, I contain multitudes)

Song of Myself, Walt Whitman

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http://www.openthedoor.ca

Joannie 09/12/2008 08:15 AM 1 point
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For Jamie: Thanks Jamie. Isn't that a great few lines of poetry! :)

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Joannie 09/12/2008 08:15 AM 1 point
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I have a technical question - why do some posts provide for a reply while others do not?

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licarrit 09/12/2008 08:25 AM 1 point
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I don't think of it as contradictions but as a dichotomy, the Yin and Yang of life. I love animals yet eat meat, I care deeply about the environment but continue to drive my car, I love my daughter more than anything in the entire world but that doesn't mean that when she is pushing my buttons I don't think I might sell her to gypsies, but just for a second! The "failings" of my personality remind me that I am not god-like but human and therefore still perfect-able not perfect.

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Colette 09/12/2008 08:57 AM 1 point
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A. C. Ping has written two little books, one called "Be" and the other called "Do" in which he talks about our beliefs, our values and our actions. We may believe something, but it is our value of what we beleive that determines our actions. Like Traci says, I'm one big ball of contradiction. I believe one of our puroses is to head toward bringing our thoughts, beliefs, values and actions into alignment and that all factors need adjusting in order to doso.

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Colette 09/12/2008 08:58 AM 1 point
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Good question! I want to be able to reply to a reply every time. I want each post to have a reply "button."

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Karen 09/12/2008 09:01 AM 1 point
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I believe in being tempered and balanced, but have realized that in order to know where balance exists I must reach beyond, sometimes into extremes. For example, overindulgence or too much solitude both lead me back to a middle ground of maintaining a close social network.

It is my contradictions that reinforce my beliefs. When I find that I am constantly contradicting my beliefs on only one side of the scale that I realize I need to re-evaluate what it is that I really believe.

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hadley 09/12/2008 09:09 AM 1 point
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You express so well my thoughts. Except it's my granddaughter who I considered selling to gypsies last night. But just for a second. I am perfectable.

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Tammy 09/12/2008 09:13 AM 1 point
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I am completely horrified & digusted by "factory farming" and how the animals that we eat are raised and treated, and yet, I eat meat in all forms without reservation. I realize that if I, myself,had to hunt & kill animals to eat, I probably would be a vegetarian. However, I know it's extremely unlikely that I will ever be put into that position. The plight of the poor in this country (USA) upsets me greatly, and yet I get extremely angry and unsympathetic when I see people panhandling. I'm sure there's more. :-)

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Tammy 09/12/2008 09:23 AM 1 point
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It's uncomfortable to realize how hard it is to put your action where your mouth is. It's so much easier, and less risky, to be a "back-seat driver." It's the path of least resistance, and most people adhere to it. I'm trying very hard to follow up my complaints about things with actual positive action, and right now I'm more in the "awareness" or "consciously incompetent" phase. If I can get to "consciously competent" I'll feel like I've accomplished a great deal.

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laurie_matthews 09/12/2008 09:31 AM 1 point
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If we are anything it is a bundle of contradictions. I believe in setting boundaries, but then work many extra hours which take away from my personal life and goals. I believe in the benefit of sleep, but rarely get enough of it. I believe in the restorative power of exercise, but don't spend enough working out.

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2 /people/laurie_matthews/ /people/laurie_matthews/following/ 514645648

Rushmi 09/12/2008 09:36 AM 1 point
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I live the life of contradiction daily. When my head hits the pillow, I am usually OK with my beliefs vs. my actions. I believe in hard-work gets us our goals...I am a constant procrastinator. I believe in gentel words make for better relationships..I catch myself using harsh words and tones with loved ones. I believe that i am invinciable...I know that I am human.
If only I can stop believing in things, and just let my actions guide me - I wonder what I believe in.

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http://www.jazmyn.ca

Cindy 09/12/2008 09:43 AM 1 point
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I believe the answer to just about any question should be "it depends". Different circumstances bring out different parts of our personality, and I think that is okay. I believe God put us all here to experience, to experience the good, the bad, the up, the down, the concrete, the mysteries, etc... I don't believe we should try to define ourselves so narrowly, because the truth is that we are unlimited, encompassing all of it.

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Joannie 09/12/2008 09:49 AM 1 point
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Me, too! :)

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Joannie 09/12/2008 09:53 AM 1 point
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Very well said. Now why didn't I think of that! :)

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MoJo 09/12/2008 10:05 AM 1 point
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Daily

How do your actions manifest, and contradict, your beliefs?

The proof is in what you do… With our special guest, Meredith Maran, author of Dirty, 50 Ways to Support Lesbian and Gay Equality and Class Dismissed, among many others.

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