What if your happiness does not depend on getting what you want?
This is a radical notion, so it bears repeating:
What… if… your happiness does not depend on getting what you want?
Speaking for both Carrie and myself, I can tell you, we are in constant pursuit of what we want. We are greatly defined by our ambitions. We want what we want - with a passion. So when I heard this question from Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön, one of my favorite spiritual teachers, it cracked something open in me. I was listening to her audio CD, True Happiness, while cruising to the studio one morning. And before I got out of the car, I had to just sit.
I closed my eyes and asked this question of my cells, my heart, my self: What if my happiness does not depend on getting what I want? I had to repeat it a few times – my head could hardly get around the concept. I envisioned all of the things I’m craving, chasing, and working for. I let them falter and dissolve from my grip – my ever-striving grip. My heart winced. I had to take a deep breath. And then I perceived the warmth of relief approaching. A stillness, like I imagine the way the Milky Way feels.
Beneath what I want, my happiness is still here - depending on me.
- Danielle
THIS WEEK: Close your eyes. Ask yourself: What if my happiness does not depend on getting what I want? Consider despair. Consider rapture. Consider simple sweetness. Consider that you can cultivate true, solid, unshakable happiness. As many great teachers say, “Happiness is your birthright.” We’re not talking about heel-clicking, elfish glee in the face of tragedy and hardship. We’re talking about nurturing the small, daily delights into a reserve of sweetness that you can taste and serve at all times – no matter what.
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