Get a Hope Transplant: Friday Focus
Hope: noun, verb.
the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. a person or thing in which expectations are centered. a four letter word that doesn’t amount to much.
Every word you speak or think lands somewhere – it’s heard by you, (and if not consciously, certainly by your unconscious mind,) by the people around you, by the Dream Fairy, The Universe, The Powers That Be.
So what kind of message does the word “hope” send out? How is the Universe or your boss or your partner supposed to interpret “hope?” Hope doesn’t tell anybody where you really stand on an issue. It certainly doesn’t scream, “Go get ‘em!” or “I wholeheartedly believe.” or “I’ll do whatever it takes.” Hope hangs out on the sidelines…just, you know, hoping. While expectation, optimism, and pragmatism are on the field playing the sport of life.
Hope is for sissies.
What if you banned the word hope from your vocabulary? Try this little hope-replacement exercise.
How do you feel with each of these statements?:
“I hope I’ll get the job.” BZZZZT! Reframe it. “I really want to get the job.” ["Point taken," says the Universe.] “I’m praying to get that job.” [Prayer is an action, too.] “I have done all that I can do to get the job.” [Good. Stand tall.] “I will either get the job, or I won’t.” [Precisely. Now you can get on with your day.] “I expect to end up with a job that I love.” [Excellent! Open-ended ||!prliignore45||and||!prliignore46|| affirmative!]
THIS WEEK: Do a Hope List. What are you hoping for? Opportunity to knock? The outcome to be positive? The test results to be negative? Replace “hope” with action words, reality words, strong words.
Hope less = Realize more.
Hope relies on…who knows exactly what. There are too many variables out of our control, and so many variables firmly within our control that it’s foolish to leave big desires to the follies of hope. It’s amazing what happens when you decide to not lean on hope (tho’ you may go through withdrawals at first, not having hope as dream-filler can be profoundly uncomfortable.) When you move beyond hope, you take responsibility. You face facts. You see solutions that you didn’t see before. You stand in the present.
Or you just keep hoping.
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August 29th, 2008 at 3:05 am
So right on, Danielle! My mother was posessed by hope…and I think that’s why I am so action orientated. I can’t stand waiting for something good to happen and when I catch myself doing it I literally kick myself in the ass and do something!
August 29th, 2008 at 9:42 am
I understand and appreciate the spirit of this post, but as someone who has struggled to even feel hope, I think of it as a precious commodity. If you have suffered from depression, and you’ve felt hopeless, then you know how precious it is. Hope is what gets you on that playing field. Sometimes, when things are particularly dark, being hopeful is the bravest act you can muster. So don’t say it’s for sissies. To be able to even hope that the universe is acting on my behalf is at times one of the hardest — and most amazing and brave — “actions” I can take.
August 29th, 2008 at 10:29 am
E, you are so right, in the extreme dark, hope can be a precious thing – it can be the only thing. Despair is, of course, the exception to the take-charge spirit of my message.
D
September 2nd, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I will now rephrase some of my past favorite sayings!