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Last week our children polished their boots with loving care and put them out on the front porch, excitedly anticipating a visit from St. Nicholas. And early, too early, the next morning they rushed out to find some simple treasure from the little-understood patron saint – mandarin oranges and a ripe, juicy mango.

December is filled with pressures, extravagances and obligations, but it’s the simple traditions and the basic connections that make it so magical. My most precious holiday memories don’t revolve around Boxing Day sales or pageants – they are simple, people-focused, and peaceful:

Decorating the tree listening to Mahalia Jackson or Elvis.

Making (but never eating) traditional Swedish pickled herring with my extended Swedish family

Baking snowman and bell-shaped cookies with my family

Door-to-door caroling followed by hot cider at the fireside

Hand-drawing Christmas cards for the grandparents

It’s never too late to create traditions and lifetime memories for our children and for ourselves. We just need to find events, rituals, and stories that speak to our families, invoking meaning that we can all feel deep within.

Tradition: Foster a Sense of Connection

A fellow traveler to Africa once told me why she enjoyed going to Catholic mass even when she didn’t speak the language – it made her feel connected to the millions of people around the world doing that very same thing at that very same time. Christmas is the same – most of us are busy sending out the same types of cards, setting up similar trees, lighting candles, and being with family.

Let’s follow or create traditions that link us to our families, our history, and our communities. And let’s be sure that we and our children understand and celebrate these links. A simple statement like “Imagine how many children are opening their advent calendars right now, just like us” brings a whole new meaning much deeper than chocolate.

Tradition: Repeated and Eagerly Anticipated

Building regularity into our rituals brings them alive. An every-so-often fancy dinner is enjoyable, but if every year we know that this one special day is pancake night or monkey-bread morning, then it becomes something to look forward to and mark on the calendar.

Tradition: Make it Participatory

For all of us, but especially the kids, it’s the doing that’s most important. Hanging the outdoor lights and decorating the tree (while listening to the aforementioned Mahalia Jackson) is what made those lights shine, and I always loved decorating the cookies more than eating their stale remains a week later (sorry Mom!). I just don’t think buying a pre-decorated tree or tin of cookies would have held the same magic.

In each ritual let’s build ways for everyone, the kids included, to be meaningfully involved in the preparation as well as the execution. Shining the boots in preparation for St. Nicholas is just as much a part of the joy as finding the goodies within the next morning.

Tradition: Enhanced by Activities and Stories, Not Solely by Gifts

I remember very few of my Christmas gifts (Aunt Sally’s beanbag chair being a notable exception), but I do remember wrapping presents, rushing down the hall to see Santa’s note and orange peel beside a warm fire, and the endless string of neighbors at our annual Boxing Day party Dec. 26. Gifts can and should be enjoyed and have meaning, but they shouldn’t be the focus.

Our family is still learning about and creating traditions. I may never understand St. Nicholas, but I know that year after year he’s going to bring one more little element of light into this dark time of year. Each year we will eagerly anticipate and prepare for his visit, when he comes to remind us that Christmas doesn’t have to be complicated or glitzy. It’s as simple and as juicy as an orange in a shiny boot.

[Photo from ||!prliignore4||]