I have fun fur trimmed panties with pom-poms worn once. I have a box of maternity clothes worn twice. I have a wet suit never worn and my wedding dress never worn again. I have my fat pants, my now pants and my optimistic pants. I have my vintage gowns, my yoga gear, my cashmere, my power suits and my paint splattered reno over alls. My closet is full and I have nothing to wear.

My daughter turned three last week and she got a “big girl bed.” Very exciting for her and unexpectedly devastating for me. Now the pale crib is packed up in the corner of her bedroom like a white elephant skeleton: too big to hide in a closet, too wide to stuff in the attic. The solution is to sell it. As is my husband’s wish, to move on…and then one has to ask about her closet. It harbors three bags of baby clothes, the bath, the nursing pillow, the bottles, the mobile, the tiny blanket Michelle sewed for my “angel baby.”

And my three year old has no room in her closet for the things that are hers. Belongings. Door jams strain with hopeful motherhood. Closets are shut tight by a still born dream. But if I give it all away, am I finally admitting I will never have a son? Or give my daughter a baby sister?

My closets are so stuffed full of unrealized hopes and painful pasts, I don’t have room for the present. Hey Moms, don’t you hate it when your own metaphor stares you in the face? And then you have to clean it up?

What Goes?

I toss the pom-poms but keep the French lace. I lend out the maternity clothes. I choose an elegant deep green dye for my wedding dress so I have something to wear to…oh hell…the Cannes festival. At least that’s a more realistic hope than fitting into a size six again. I give the wet suit to someone whose idea of a good time is freezing her ass off in the Pacific Ocean. And I get rid of my fat pants because I will never be fat again.

Now the harder closet. I go through the three bags of baby clothes and pick out my favorites. These I will keep for my daughter’s daughter. I will give the baby gear and crib to the Salvation Army for a mother who needs it sooner than I will. I will find my angel baby blanket and weep…because I will have room now to do so.

What’s stuffed in the back of your closet? Tell us in the comments, below.

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For more excellent advice on removing clutter and creating order in your life, don’t forget to check out Erin Doland’s wonderful site, Unclutterer. We particularly like her Workspace of the Week posts.