This book review was sent in by Heidi, one of our readers. She’s been recommending it to all her girlfriends and thinks you might enjoy it too. Thank you for sharing Heidi!

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I just wanted to drop a line to recommend the book that I’m currently obsessed with. It’s called 9 Secrets to Bedroom Bliss: Exploring Sexual Archetypes to Reveal Your Lover’s Passions and Discover What Turns You On by Jim Herriot, though the title is a bit deceiving. The title makes it sound like this is a book for someone who isn’t satisfied in the bedroom, but it’s really about finding out what kind of archetype you most relate to in bed, which archetype your partner most relates to and how to explore other types and enjoy multi-dimensional sex. (If you’re not familiar with archetypes, an archetype is like a basic character that exists for all of humanity, and you can chose to play one for variety, but everyone has one that is their “home” archetype and feels most comfortable too.)

The authors compare the way it feels to have sex channeling the different archetypes to the way it feels to eat different cuisines—no one wants to eat Italian every single night, no matter how good it is. The book focuses on the experience of sex, rather than techniques, stating that when you go out to eat you don’t order sugar, butter, eggs, and flour, you order a feast that combines all different ingredients. So while techniques and moves are important, they in and of themselves don’t constitute everything that’s neat about sex. And once you understand the different archetypes, it’s like deciding to eat Indian or Irish or Cuban one night.

Each chapter walks the reader through a different archetype, progressing through a cycle that many will recognize from their own development of their sexuality. For example the authors present a scenario that might play out differently with each archetype showing off a new pair of underwear:

• The Innocent: Did you see my new silk panties? Aren’t they cute?
• The Adventurer: I dare you to take off my panties with your teeth.
• The Sensualist: Please touch my silk panties…yes, right there, ooh…
• The Seeker: I’ll take my new silk panties off, but only if you beg me.
• The Revealer: I want to tell you a secret about my silky panties.
• The Magician: Let me show you how I want you to remove my silk panties.
• The Mystic: I shed my silk panties, opening my temple door to the universe. (???)
• The Nurturer: Let me take off your panties so we can get ready for bed.
• The Artist: Panties or no panties the dance will go on.

The other neat thing about their theory is the idea that everyone travels through all of these stages in their life over and over again—everyone begins an innocent and eventually you see so much and are so experienced after moving through all the other stages that you’re ready to start again and be new at something and be innocent again. It’s a great book for sparking new ideas, celebrating all the varieties of sex, and filled with encouragement.