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Spirituality

Perspectives on everyday divinity, life purpose, and meaning.

Be a walking contradiction.

Spirituality | September 4th, 2008 by Danielle LaPorte

“Do I contradict myself?
Very well, then I contradict myself.
I am large.
I contain multitudes.”
– Walt Whitman

In order to thrive, wholeness has to be the priority – not political correctness, or likeability, or protecting your mother’s feelings. But… What if your preferences and the various parts of yourself are seemingly in conflict? Like the MBA who wants to be a stay-at-home mom, or the eco-friendly yoga teacher who wants to be a millionaire?

It’s good – it’s all good if it’s all real. It is infinitely more empowering, not to mention more interesting, to be full of contradictions than to accommodate the status quo.

THIS WEEK: make a short list of your own contradictions. Leave it out where you can see it for a while. Smile when you read it. Learn to love it.

The basis of authenticity is acceptance of your whole self. Like the MBA who wants to be a stay-at-home mom or, the sexy dresser with old-fashioned morals, or the yoga teacher who wants to be a millionaire…self-expression is not an either- or formula. It is infinitely better to be fully yourself with myriad contradictions than to be an indirect, inauthentic version of yourself.

Wholeness demands that we expand – our perspective, our definition of success, and our belief in what’s possible.

 

Viewing 10 Comments

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    I love this - one of the contradictions I find easily about myself is that I love "geek" things like museums, learning, school, documentaries on certain subjects, having debates about politics...
    BUT...
    I also adore gossip sites, glossy magazines, pop culture and fashion :)
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    Danielle...I struggle with this alot...what about being authentic? If you are full of contradictions, doesn't that stab at one's authenticity?
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    I love my contradictions. It's so limiting to put so much energy into being all one way or another way. It's not even possible. People try so hard to "define" things, "define" themselves, lock it up in stone, but then further growth becomes hampered or impossible. I wrote this poem last year that sums it up for me: I walk in circles. I am a contradiction. I am high and low. I am black and white. I am Quantum. The answer depends on which door you open. Until then, all possibilities exist and are true. And even afterward. I never said it would be easy to really know me. I prefer to be a mystery, even to me.
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    This is so spot on. We are a myriad of possibilities and our human potential is infinite. I think the demands of social conditioning is the bedrock of insecurity and inauthenticity. However, once you're courageous enough to step over that threshold of self-acceptance (your quirks and contradictions!) your ability to soar will be beyond anything you can imagine for yourself!

    Good post!
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    (Not Danielle ... hope you don't mind?)

    It took me a long time to figure this out. I turned 48 this year, and so I can safely say that for about 40 years, I've been trying to reconcile the plain fact that I mean what I say, say exactly what I mean or as close to that as I can get, and still end up with cries of "melodramatic" and "so enthusiastic" thrown at me as a way to filter or dilute what I am trying to say. To me, drama and enthusiasm and artistry seemed to be a contradiction or some kind of mitigation of my core, as I knew my core to be.

    But then I did the Style Statement questions and found the suggestion that the Creative Edge is very likely to be in something that seems like an opposite. It all came together for me in that moment.

    Are the blossoms or firm fruits of the apple tree less a part of the tree than the trunk? Does the fact that the blossoms smell sweet make them less of the tree? Does the possibility of apple pie make the power of a root system less powerful?

    In fact, I can now assert that the flow of creativity found in my Creative Edge of "Dynamic" is only possible on the basis of my Genuine Core. A carver can make exquisite artistry of genuine hardwoods. Real marble can become a Michaelangelo's David. The Dynamic flow is only possible for me when I'm using something Genuine.

    Stephanie, Genuine Dynamic
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    This is a great realization. I am in my early twenties and struggle with the fact that I am up and down, left and right all at the same time. I chastise myself for it most days. Instead of thinking of it as a shortcoming, I will see it as a strength. I am multitudes of possibility.
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    Eureka! I am an artist who writes technical documentation. And I'm really good at it. And... it's time to let my artist self shine, too. But... I don't have to quit my job to do it. This is sooo helpful.
    And once again I'm re-jiggering my Style Statement. I'll get there - I'll get there....
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    wholeness is the highest aspiration, I think. So that means the good the bad and the ugly. your question is a big one. very big. and it inspires me to write more about this. my short answer is that mess is beautiful. but your words are vibrating something worth looking into "stab at one's authenticity." there's something underneath that - it feels punishing. it's complex because some of our contradictions are ego, some are truth. which gie me a thought about an exercise n contradictions...stay tuned.
    xo
    Danielle
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    This is so true: "the demands of social conditioning"...are "the bedrock of insecurity and inauthenticity." I write about this in Style Statement. I think inauthenticity is one part social structure and one part mortal coil. We all desire to belong AND to be unique in the most primal, gorgeous way.
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    ah yes...I read eastern philosophy and People Magazine. Love them both.
 
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