In the past two years, I’ve been a full time working mother, a stay at home mother, and a work at home mother. As I’ve evolved and changed and lived these roles, I’ve learned a few things – the most important being that we moms are far too hard on one another. I’ve been criticized for working, criticized for staying at home, and criticized for both using and not using daycare.

I’ve endured the invisible stay at home mother syndrome, as well as the hostility from coworkers that only a new working mother can experience. We won’t even mention the guilt – that’s a post in and of itself. I spend my life in a constant struggle for balance that only a mother can understand. After living through the last few years, I have something to say.

Stop Being So Hard on Yourself

If you’ve been wondering how to juggle a family, a career, and maintain a perfect home, and are thinking it just may be impossible — you’re right. The perfection you’re seeing when you visit your acquaintances home? It’s a sham. Most of what you’re seeing is brought on by your own insecurities – that’s right, it’s in your imagination. They aren’t perfect, either. What a relief!

If you take the time to stop focusing on the imagined perfection, you’d see that they’re struggling just as much as you are. They’re working hard to keep up appearances, as well. Maybe it’s time to break down that imaginary barrier and share some of the issues that you’re working through as a mom — chances are, they’ll have a few of their own to share.

Other Moms Have Help

So, you’re feeling overworked, overtired, and under the gun? Join the club. If you know a mom that isn’t, it’s because she’s already gotten smart and asked for help. You may need to do the same. Admitting that you can’t do everything by yourself isn’t a crime – in fact, its a step towards healthier living!

Make a list of anyone you know who might be willing to help, and then consider calling in the troops. Can someone trade babysitting time with you? Would anyone you know be willing to make a trip to the store? Can you host a dinner swap and take turns making meals? Do you have money in the budget for a teenage mother’s helper or house cleaner?

Moms Can Assist Each Other

Chances are, other moms are equally stressed and would be more than willing to exchange time with you — after all, they get some time away from their little angels, as well. Consider starting a daycare swap or regular play date to gain some time away from your kids. They’ll get a chance to play with other children, and you’ll get a much needed break. Even if you spend that time mopping the kitchen floor, it’s still worth the peace and quiet.

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