Mother.

It’s a word used to convey the most pure and unaltered love. Mothers are revered as being the backbone of families in every possible way. But unfortunately, not all mothers fit this archetype. Some women are unfortunate enough to have mothers with “narcissistic personality disorder.” This means that the mother puts herself before her child and views that child as an extension of herself, not as an individual.

One Shining Example

Before I met my friend Taylor, I had never been exposed to this type of mother. Her mother abused her in such subtle ways. It wasn’t physical abuse, of course, even though mothers with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can be physically abusive.

Taylor’s mother insisted that her daughter’s sole purpose in life was to serve her—meaning that Taylor would do what Mom told her, or else there would be consequences. Even as she grew, Mom dictated what kinds of guys Taylor could date. Her mother made it known when she disapproved of Taylor’s choices by giving her the silent treatment. She would also use guilt trips. For example, when Taylor chose to move out, her mother called her selfish and promised never to come see her in her new town.

This sort of punishment is the hallmark of the narcissistic mother. Her daughter is there to comfort her, and not the other way around. Taylor had to sacrifice things in her own life to satisfy her mother’s happiness. The minute she chose to do something on her own, her mother pointed out the error and how much it hurt the family. Even years down the road, Taylor was reminded of how selfish it was for her to leave her family.

The second trimester of pregnancy is one of the most exciting because your baby becomes real to you. You can finally feel the baby kick and move around. You can see him on the sonogram, too. But despite all the exciting things your baby is doing, you’re going through a lot of changes.

What Does This Mean?

You’re little one will soon be here, and you can feel it. As early as 15 weeks in, you may begin to feel pains that are like tiny pinpricks or pinches. That’s your baby kicking. Kicks can be so strong that they make you jolt. If you feel movement, that means your baby is growing and getting ready to keep you up all night in a few short months. He’s exercising his lungs and making small sounds. Amazingly, he can now see light through your stomach. If you were to shine a flashlight over your belly, he would wince.

Your baby’s eyes will also finish developing in the second trimester. In the beginning of your pregnancy, the eyes were on the sides of his head. Now they are moving to the front. Your baby actually closes his eyes during the second trimester, but he’ll reopen them shortly before he is born. Your little one will continue to develop rapidly during the second trimester, particularly between 14 and 20 weeks.

Ouch, That Hurts!

You may feel muscle pain in your abdomen in the second trimester. The pain feels like stretching, and it may hurt when you rise to a standing position. Called round ligament pain, this stretching is your uterus making room for your growing baby. Round ligament pain usually starts around week 14 and may continue up through week 20. Your baby will grow a lot during that time, so if your belly hasn’t pouched by week 14, hang tight–chances are, you’ll have that round pregnancy glow soon.

Breast Changes

One of the most exciting things about pregnancy is that your body finally starts to take on a larger, more motherly form. Sorry to say it, girls, but you’ll probably have to pack away your skinny jeans for a few months. It’s time for maternity clothes!

If they haven’t started already, your breasts will have a growth spurt. Now that you’re pregnant, they are filling with milk to nourish your coming child. As the hormones in your body increase, so does the size of your chest. You should expect to grow a few cup sizes by the time your baby arrives.

Don’t be alarmed if you discover small bumps on your breasts around the areolas. They’re due to the extra estrogen in your system and are nothing to worry about. Your breasts may also become very tender and painful to the touch. By then, your doctor may recommend wearing a nighttime bra to alleviate the pain. Because of the extra weight, you might want to look into maternity underwear. Maternity lingerie is generally more supportive than pre-pregnancy undergarments and will give your body the extra support it needs.

I’m a very different person than I used to be. I guess I’d like to say I’m worldlier and a little wiser than the former version of myself. Though I don’t like to admit it, I used to be very traditional in my view of relationships. I’d date, get to know someone, and if I was meant to marry a particular man, he would propose. The rest of the courting would remain the same unless we tied the knot.

My First Mistake

That was before my first marriage crashed and burned. My ex-husband and I hadn’t lived together before getting married, so I had no idea what it was like to live with him each day. I didn’t even know if we were compatible.

When I met John, my now-husband and love of my life, we were living in different states. He drove round-trip from Virginia to Baltimore every weekend. And as our love grew deeper, we knew within a short time that we were destined to get married.

Moving on In

Despite my misgivings about cohabitation in the past, I was completely and utterly in love. So when John asked me to move in with him, I knew it was right.

People say change is a good thing. But what happens when that change involves moving out of state to take a new opportunity, which means moving away from your family? In today’s society, a lot of adult women move away from home and out of state with their husbands or partners. This often puts strain on extended-family relationships and wreaks havoc on a woman’s life. Families don’t always like the idea of long-distance relationships, but what happens when you have kids and a life of your own, too?

A Change in Family Dynamics

As women, we’re often taught from the moment we come out of the womb that it is our job to take care of our families and everyone else around us. This sometimes makes it hard for us to detach and start our own lives. We feel so emotionally responsible for others that we neglect our own futures and even ourselves. When you’re moving away, your extended family may have a hard adjusting to the fact that they won’t see you every day. When you’ve lived somewhere for a long time, people get so used to having you around that they don’t expect that to change.

Today’s society encourages women to speak up, be assertive, and make their own choices. It’s as pervasive as our breathing. The freedom is liberating. But even in an age of individualism and independence, people still take advantage of women. It happens in all the places that are important to us—at work, in our doctor’s offices, and in every other aspect of our lives.

A specific instance happened to me not long ago. I was in the doctor’s office, and my doctor told me that I should have a test done during the 18th week of pregnancy to make sure my baby had no birth defects. I agreed but researched the test thoroughly when I got home, and I came to find out that the test could hurt me and my unborn baby. I couldn’t believe I’d agreed to it. When I went to the doctor the next time, I explained that I didn’t want to put myself or the baby at risk. After I explained my stance on the procedure, the doctor kindly backed down and respected my opinion.

When We Need to Step Up

Let’s focus first on the workplace. Have co-workers ever approached you and asked you to do them a favor by putting a list together? Before you know it, those “favors” become a daily practice. If you’re like me and want to make a good impression, you smile politely and agree to help, all the while wondering why you’re doing it. You shouldn’t be. The truth is, we worry so much about pleasing others that we don’t always speak up when we should. Some women are simply afraid of being labeled assertive. We worry about being called the b-word simply for sticking up for ourselves.

But you need to speak up. What good are you doing by letting people walk all over you?

We live in an age that values women’s health and urges us to fill our bodies with foods that help fight off infection, strengthen bones, and increase energy. But there’s another reason why you should eat a diet that includes foods such as spinach, leafy greens, and peanuts.

What do these foods have in common? They all contain folic acid or folate, a nutrient that can greatly benefit women of all ages. Folic acid is a B vitamin that can improve your health in more ways than you can imagine. It’s generally prescribed to pregnant women to thicken cervical mucus, facilitate pregnancy, and prevent birth defects. However, it is good for women of all ages, pregnant or not.

Health Benefits of Folate

According to Healthy Heart Guide, folic acid is essential to a woman’s health. It reduces your risk of having a heart attack and helps rid your body of harmful nutrient byproducts that enter your bloodstream through excess nutrients. A lot of already prepared foods, such as cereal, contain folic acid–but many popular cereals that are high in sugar do not. Kellogg’s Frosted Mini Wheats, however, contain 25 percent of your daily recommended folic-acid intake. In addition, they are rich in fiber and other nutrients that help your body function properly.

To read more about folic acid, take a look at this fact sheet. Folic acid helps facilitate the growth of new cells and is water soluble, so it can enter your bloodstream quickly.

You’ve put on your sexiest lingerie. You’ve lit up candles, put on some music, and arranged yourself in your most “come-hither” position. Now that you’ve been on a few dates and laughed over a few cocktails, it’s time to go back to his place.

You’d think that we have evolved to the point that we are no longer worried about being embarrassed. We live in an age that values sex and intimacy, so it seems only natural to be open-minded.

The Naked Truth

But when it comes to sex, some women find it hard to relax and try new things. Sure, some of us are equipped with the innate ability to let ourselves go during sex without feeling worried or self-conscious. But for many of us, thinking sexually outside the box isn’t quite so easy. Many women are afraid to try new things for fear of scaring their partners, but there are a number of things you can do to boost your chances of having a great sexual experience.

Relax…and Have an Orgasam

It’s easier said than done, of course, but studies show that relaxation plays an important role in good sex. Not only does it release endorphins into your system, which have a calming effect and create a feeling of overall happiness, but it also enables you to lose yourself and let yourself go as you near orgasm. As a general rule, it is difficult for some women to achieve orgasm. In fact, there is a percentage of the female population that has never experienced it! Part of this issue is due to the fact that we are so caught up in trying to please our partners that we forget about ourselves.

Five years ago, I got engaged. I had been dating Rob, a successful doctor in the Northeast district, for a while. He still lived with his parents in a tiny two-level Victorian. That didn’t faze me. I was used to dating quirky guys. Oddities such as that are what made these relationships unique and interesting. I’d learned early on not to judge a book by its cover and that deep down beneath the flesh exterior, every person possessed two endearing qualities—kindness and the ability to love conditionally.

We married a year and a half later with good intentions of starting a family in the suburbs. Every girl’s dream, right? Unfortunately, what I didn’t realize is that Rob was an abuser. I got out of the marriage just in time.

Many abusers have commonalities; little things that don’t always stick out until it’s too late. If any of these seem familiar, get out and get help.

1. Two Faces

It’s not always easy to decipher the traits of an abuser, because he has two faces he shows the world. Most of the time, he appears to be a model citizen. He is kind to everyone he meets, he showers you with gifts, and he proudly engages in public displays of affection. But he can snap at a moment’s notice. The slightest things can set him off.

2. Control

Abusive men share a common trait—they must have control. This means that you must do as he says, when he says it to make him happy and make him feel like the dominant one in the relationship. Abusers resort to both emotional and physical control, and they will use force to control your actions.

When I was out of town a few months ago, I looked forward to having dinner with an old friend from high school. It had been way too long since we’d seen each other, and I wasn’t particularly interested in spending another night at home.

Ever since this friend was maid of honor at my wedding, life had pulled me into a tumultuous whirlwind of events. I got a job and lost it a year later. My husband and I bought a house. And I got pregnant.

As we mused over life in general in the front yard to her parents’ house and later at an Italian restaurant of her choosing, our chatter started out as it normally did when I lived at home. She rambled on about her parents and her cousins and gave me the buzz on my old friends from high school.

The Evolution of Friendship

As the conversation wore on, though, I realized that we were in two completely different places, and we couldn’t really relate anymore. The only thing we share at this point is the memory of how our lives used to be, not how they are now. After asking her all kinds of questions about her life, I thought she would have had some questions about what was going on with me.

When I received an e-mail from my boss asking to speak to me one-on-one, I didn’t see it coming. I was sure the message was about my yearly review and how I had passed with flying colors.

Instead, a pink slip and a severance package were waiting for me in the manager’s office. The Fortune 500 company I had called home for a year was ready to cut me loose. My heart sank when my boss uttered those all-telling words: “Please have a seat.”

I sat down quietly knowing all too well that I was about to lose my job. That job later led to another job that also ended too soon. My husband and I had just bought a house–our first house. We had a huge mortgage. Using the meager funds left in my checking account, we somehow managed to scrape by, pay the mortgage, and buy food.

From Luxury Back Down to Basics

We had been so used to the luxuries of today’s modern age: a cable service that had 1,000 channels, heat that wrapped around us like a blanket, and food stuffing all corners of the cabinets. We were living well, but suddenly we had to make changes. In an effort to stay in our house and afford basic needs, we had to cut back cable to the bare minimum to save money. We turned down the heat and wore bathrobes every night that winter.

I’m not going to lie; there were a few arguments over money. We weren’t used to living with the basics. But as time went on, we adjusted to the changes. I had gotten too used to living well. The world was changing to adjust to the faltering economy, and our lives were changing along with it.

Pregnancy is one of the most joyful times in a couple’s life together. The two of you have created a new life. Your body is growing and changing to accommodate your growing baby. And whether you’d like to admit it or not, your relationship with your partner is changing, too.

Laugh to Relieve the Stress

While being pregnant is one of the most exciting times of your life, it is also one of the most stressful. When you’re busy browsing through cribs, stuffed animals, and baby clothes, Daddy is going through something totally different. His mind is racing with thoughts about finances, diapers, and a huge life change.

We women tend to get caught up in the excitement of a new baby, but it’s important to remember our husbands. They have needs, too, and pregnancy can sometimes distract you from paying attention to those needs. Some women feel less sexy and desirable during pregnancy, which can lead to a decreased libido. But sex and intimacy don’t have to end at the moment of conception. In fact, pregnancy is a great opportunity to get to know your partner on a more intimate level.

Let me give you an example. When I found out I was pregnant three months ago, I was ecstatic. I couldn’t wait to start looking for cribs and baby booties. Meanwhile, my husband was freaking out. He was worried about being able to provide for the baby.

My husband and I have always been very close. We constantly tease and joke with each other. Our joking and teasing have kept the excitement in our relationship alive as we venture into the second trimester. We’re open about our feelings and fears, and we share them on a regular basis. We laugh and cry in each other’s arms. This has made our bond so much stronger.

Planning a baby is stressful. We can’t set a specific date, time, or place to conceive, even though we might like to. It happens when it’s meant to happen – but, there is a product out there that can help the baby-making process along.

Traditional Lubricants Can Kill Sperm

Mainstream lubricants may seem like a great way to help your partner’s sperm swim upstream. These lubes are great for heightening intimacy, but they’re not going to help you conceive. Quite the opposite, actually. Most intimate lubricants, such as KY, actually kill sperm and decrease sperm motility. Even saliva, one of the body’s most natural substances, has the ability to kill sperm before it’s even reached your cervix.

But thanks to a little thing we call technology; researchers have developed a wonderful little product called Pre-Seed. Pre-Seed is the only sperm-friendly intimate lubricant on the market. In 1992, Dr. Joanna Ellington, co-founder of INGFertility, created Pre-Seed. Instead of creating a hostile environment for sperm, Pre-Seed lubricant actually mimics the body’s natural environment and makes it easier for sperm to make it into the cervix.

How Pre-Seed Lubricant Works

Pre-Seed comes in individually-wrapped applicators that should be inserted and emptied into the vagina. It is recommended that you empty the entire applicator before use. To make the experience a little more exciting, let your partner apply the lube. This will allow him to enjoy the experience and feel more in tune with your body. It may also heighten his arousal and make you both feel relaxed. You can insert Pre-Seed yourself by squatting over a toilet or lying on your back. Regardless of how you apply Pre-Seed, make sure that all contents of the applicator are applied.

You’ve got a new addiction. No, it’s not cigarettes or alcohol. And it’s certainly not those zesty nacho chips that have been sitting in your pantry. It’s eating healthy. If you’re like the millions of other people resolving to lose weight in 2009, you’re probably browsing the aisles of the grocery store with care.

But if you’re concerned about your fertility, you should browse these aisles with a more critical eye.

Fish: Healthy Yet…Dangerous?

We know fruits and vegetables are an excellent source of nutrients. They are chocked full of antioxidants. But at the same time, there are other heart healthy foods that can actually help you lose weight and have more energy. Fish is one of those foods. Fish and shellfish are an excellent source of potassium, amino acids, and fiber. Fish also contains omega-3 fatty acids, which help reduce the risk of heart disease. Add in the fact that it is low in calories, fat, and cholesterol, and fish may seem like the perfect food to add to your New Year’s diet repertoire.

But did you know that fish can actually hurt women, affect fertility, and hurt your chances of having a healthy baby? If you’re planning to become pregnant, you may not want too eat fish in large quantities. Fish contains mercury, which when consumed, can affect the female body. Mercury gets into your reproductive system and can affect your chances of conceiving. If you consume large amounts of fish prior to getting pregnant, the mercury can get into your system and hurt your reproductive system or your developing baby.

It’s best to stop eating fish or limit your intake when you get pregnant.