In the past two years, I’ve been a full time working mother, a stay at home mother, and a work at home mother. As I’ve evolved and changed and lived these roles, I’ve learned a few things – the most important being that we moms are far too hard on one another. I’ve been criticized for working, criticized for staying at home, and criticized for both using and not using daycare.

I’ve endured the invisible stay at home mother syndrome, as well as the hostility from coworkers that only a new working mother can experience. We won’t even mention the guilt – that’s a post in and of itself. I spend my life in a constant struggle for balance that only a mother can understand. After living through the last few years, I have something to say.

Stop Being So Hard on Yourself

If you’ve been wondering how to juggle a family, a career, and maintain a perfect home, and are thinking it just may be impossible — you’re right. The perfection you’re seeing when you visit your acquaintances home? It’s a sham. Most of what you’re seeing is brought on by your own insecurities – that’s right, it’s in your imagination. They aren’t perfect, either. What a relief!

If you take the time to stop focusing on the imagined perfection, you’d see that they’re struggling just as much as you are. They’re working hard to keep up appearances, as well. Maybe it’s time to break down that imaginary barrier and share some of the issues that you’re working through as a mom — chances are, they’ll have a few of their own to share.

If you work at home with small children, chances are that you know the value of time. In my world, I know that there’s never quite enough of it. Deadlines loom while snacks, diapers, and phone calls from my editor demand my attention – often at the same time.

A Day in the Life of a Stay-at-Home Parent

I work more than full time from home, with a 2 year old and an infant in tow. My husband works full time outside the home. Oh, and did I mention that we started homeschooling this year on the preschool level? (I know, I know, glutton for punishment and all that…)

At any given minute, my home, work, and personal life are in varying states of chaos. On a good day, we all have clean laundry, a balanced meal, and I get some work done. Bad days are more likely to find me rocking inside the closet humming the Dora the Explorer theme song, while a toddler with marker tattoos runs rampant just outside the door.

In reality, we manage pretty well. I tend to try really hard to get up before the girls do. If I manage it, the day goes much more smoothly. In fact, I really need to make this a priority. (mental note: do not to hit snooze button in the morning!). Once I’m up, I check email, start a load of laundry, pick up the house, and begin my day. Getting organized first thing in the morning really helps.

It’s been said that there’s no place like home for the holidays, and this is certainly true for work-at-home parents. After all, only when you work from home do you have the unique privilege of cooking a turkey and meeting a deadline at the same time! In honor of the upcoming holiday season, I’d like to offer a few freelancing observations.

Adjust Deadlines Early

If you work from home, take time now to analyze your calendar. It’s essential that you blend your editorial or business calendar with your family calendar now, to prevent unpleasant surprises. After all, no one wants to be stuck home proofreading an e-book the night of the biggest bash of the season.

Plan for Time Off

You’re your own boss, and if you don’t allow for time off, no one else will. This time of year, it’s especially important to allow yourself time to decompress from the holiday stress and freelancing hubbub. So go ahead, unplug the laptop and step away from the inventory – your business can survive without you for a few hours. Take time to light a candle and create some holiday Zen. Your body, mind, and spirit will thank you.

If eating high quality food with few pesticides and chemicals is important to you, it may be easier than you’d think to save money on your grocery bill. The organic section of your grocery store isn’t the only place to purchase healthy whole foods; in fact, it may be the most expensive option!

If you’re searching for organic or hormone-free meats, free range eggs, or low to no pesticide produce, you already know how expensive such items can be at traditional grocery stores. It can be a bit intimidating to watch your bill go higher and higher each month, and it may be tempting to switch back to traditionally farmed items. Before you do so, however, consider taking advantage of what your local community has to offer.

A year ago this July, I decided to embrace my own destiny and start a business. It’s been a joyride of ups and downs, and I’ve learned more than I ever thought possible about myself along the way.

Working at home provides one with a unique sense of independence, but also comes with a massive amount of responsibility. Missed a deadline? You’re to blame. Overextended your business finances? You again. And that boss of yours? Sometimes, she can be a real pain! Navigating the unique dance that is working at home has taught me quite a few things about life.

Freedom and Simplicity

As I juggle the unique balance of productivity and sleep deprivation that is inevitable as a full time writer and mother of two under three, I’ve learned that the freedom I enjoy comes with a price tag. For now, freelancing means that we’re always on a budget. We’re not starving artists, but we don’t live on easy street, either. We’ve chosen to live a simpler life, and in turn, to cut corners fiscally to finance it. We spend time instead of money whenever possible, and our family is stronger for it. Some refer to this movement as voluntary simplicity, but to us, it’s just life.