Image saved on desk top – suggested book at bottom of post

Christmas Archetypes: Do you relate more to Christ, Scrooge or Santa?

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed. ~Carl Jung

Eight years ago I was sitting in the kitchen of my bachelor apartment, chain-smoking, and wondering why the hell I couldn’t seem to find ‘the one’. Please note: it didn’t occur to me at the time that smoking and cursing might not be very attractive qualities in myself – besides, love is unconditional, right? I’d been fortunate enough to have some great relationships (and some crappy ones) but none that gave me the feeling of ‘this is it!, here’s the person I’ve been searching for, the one that I’ll share my life with, grow old with, and all the other fairytale type feelings that were wrapped up in my dream of a soul mate’.

Soul Mates

I’d learned enough to know that we attract what’s best for us at any point in time and had beaten myself up for some of what I’d attracted in the past. Soul mates aren’t necessarily the warm and fuzzy, ideal relationships we would hope for. They are whatever we may need to foster growth, and we all know steel is forged by fire, so it follows that some soul mates are more like a lesson in learning what we don’t want. Refinement by elimination, so to speak, and we crystallize our intent as we go.

I know there are so many products out there and I hardly want to add to the already overloaded list of “things to buy” in this age of crazy consumerism. At the same time, I love it when products combine natural remedies in oh-so-cool delivery systems:

Wild Prairie Lotion Bars

I am one of the pastiest people you will ever meet. In fact, I’m so white that in the winter months I start to resemble one of those drawings from Gray’s Anatomy (get that picture of McDreamy out of your head – I’m talking about the medical reference book here, not the TV show!). A secondary challenge to my glow-in-the-dark whiteness is seriously dry skin and as the winter months approach, I start to scratch myself silly as the dry patches appear.

I was thrilled to find Wild Prairie’s Lotion Bars with essential oils. These nifty little bars are packaged like a deodorant stick and include ingredients like beeswax, cocoa butter, coconut oil, jojoba oil, vitamin E and essential oil. They melt as you apply them, and provide a great moisturizing barrier for those trouble spots like feet, elbows, hands (or the front of your shins if you’re like me). They come in a range of beautiful scents and two sizes (including a cute purse size stick). My personal favorites are the Lavender and Green Tea & Hemp.

“Cut it out!” shouts a deep, angry voice. And it was directed at my three-year old daughter! I see her face register the shock, and then her bottom lip starts to quiver. The restaurant goes quiet and all eyes are upon us as I turn to the table behind and ask, equally as angry – “EXCUSE ME?!” My raised eyebrows are met with no heated words or nasty glares – all I see are four elderly people with their eyes downcast, pretending nothing untoward has happened and concentrating on their chicken dinners.

What the f***? I’m shaking with the adrenaline that’s pumping through my veins, and getting even more riled up because no one will own up to this verbal assault on my child, nor will they meet my eyes and engage in the conflict I am very, very ready to dive into – head first, guns-a-blazing.

Anger is a Bad Teacher

I turn back to my daughter and she is shrunken into herself, wondering what all the yelling is about, but also looking a bit sheepish, somehow sensing that it has something to do with her. I look at my husband questioningly, “What just happened?” I ask him. He’s just as confused, but being the great Dad he is, has been concentrating on making sure our daughter isn’t too frightened after being yelled at by a stranger. I on the other hand am flashing through years of conditioning which taught me to respect my elders and simultaneously stifling the need to pummel the crap out this loud-mouthed octogenarian.

I realize that the screams of babies and toddlers are designed to get on our last nerve, a built in alarm to get parents’ attention. And I know it can be even more aggravating to have to listen to that sound when it’s not your child who’s screaming – but regardless of how much it tweaks us, most of us DO NOT scream back at the child; in fact, it usually elicits some compassion.

As the holiday season approaches, a lot of us will find our already hectic, day-to-day routines getting even more jam-packed with things to do. Whether it’s entertaining, gift buying, or just making the rounds visiting family and friends during the festive season, the added activity can often leave us wondering where all the ‘tidings of comfort and joy’ have gone.

If you find yourself in the midst of a holiday headache, or turning into a stressed out Santa, why not try a little aromatherapy instead of reaching for an over the counter pain killer? There are many different ways to make use of essential oils, especially for holiday stress relief.

“I am aware of my breath…my thoughts are not me, they are just thoughts….relax, relax, relax… (his hand is so nice and warm.) Shhhhhh – don’t fall prey to the distractions…just observe the thoughts; don’t get attached to them… (can he feel my pulse through our joined hands?) Don’t freak out, you can transcend this distraction… silence….oh my God! There was a moment of silence there…maybe I can get it again… (my knee is touching his – is he as distracted as I am?)…relax, relax, relax… (I would love to just climb onto his lap and) – STOP IT! Damn it! This isn’t working…”

This is what‘s running through my brain. There are eight of us sitting cross-legged in a circle on the floor with hands joined. It’s my first group meditation and I’m about as relaxed as a cocaine addict after an all-night binge. To quote Van Halen, “I’m hot for teacher.”

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.
Albert Einstein

I have a confession to make. I can’t stop reading self-help, personal development and spirituality books. What’s more, I just keep on reading, and rarely put into practice any of the helpful and well-thought-out activities that the (presumably) wise authors so generously put forth. In fact, I usually skip that part altogether, rushing through it all so that I can get my next hit: the next big answer, the “A-HA!” moment.

There. I’ve said it out loud. I am sitting in my local coffee shop exhaling a huge (and embarrassed) sigh of relief.